Miscarrying « Back to Group Discussions

[Katielady]

I woke up this morning with cramps and bleeding. I had a feeling yesterday that this was about to happen but was hoping it was just me being worried. I'm so sad and disappointed. I conceived so quickly after we started trying, which was such a nice change after having to see an RE for my first two kids. Now my pregnancy history is two sticky pregnancies on metformin and clomid, and two miscarriages on metformin alone. I have to decide whether to keep trying on my own or get back on the infertility hamster wheel. And I had just started washing maternity clothes for my poor bloated belly.

My husband is staying home from work and taking the kids somewhere so I can have a sick day. I'll rest and put heat on my belly. I might send some emails around to see if there's an RE with a good reputation among the holistic crowd. The last one I went to was such an ass. Major god complex- super into how he was "getting me pregnant" , wanted to do every test under the sun despite how easily I conceived my first, and wanted to bring me in for weekly scans and blood tests for the first ten weeks of pregnancy. Some women feel reassured by all the testing but I thought it was ridiculous and mostly a way to pad his pockets.

Anyway. Good luck to all of you. Hopefully I will wave to you from another DDC not too long from now.

[nomadlibrarian]

I'm so sorry, mama. *hugs*

[junebug1]

i am so sorry, katie.  what heartbreaking news this morning.  to you and   for your little bean.

[purposefuldoula]

(((Big hugs))) to you Katie.   

[Katielady]

Thank you. Yesterday was so odd...all of a sudden for no particular reason I got panicky about the possibility of miscarrying. I must have had a big hormonal drop as the process started. I just knew. And then I tried to convince myself it was pregnancy hormones making me wiggy.

I also tried to convince myself over the past two weeks that I was OK with any outcome, and that I had two kids and that if it doesn't work out for us to have a third it will be OK. Now I realize it was just me trying to armor myself against being crushed if I lost the pregnancy. You either want a baby or you don't, whether it's your first or your third or your tenth. I AM comforted by the fact that I have two wonderful kids. But it's still a loss and is still so sad.

[kaleiskind]

Katie, I'm so, so sorry. Big hugs to you, and good luck to you in adding to your family when you're ready.

[esp831]

Katie,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  Sending you hugs and healing energy.  Your husband sounds like a good guy, and your kids sound wonderful too.  Clearly you have strong instincts, trust them.  I hope you find a RE that is right for you!  Good luck, and peace to you and your family.

[holly6737]

Aw, I'm sorry! Rest up and take care of yourself. ((hugs))

[HypRN]

Oh Katie I'm so sorry.  Are you absolutely sure that this is a m/c?  I had a lot of bleeding with my successful pregnancies.  Sending healing thoughts your way.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by HypRN 

Oh Katie I'm so sorry.  Are you absolutely sure that this is a m/c?  I had a lot of bleeding with my successful pregnancies.  Sending healing thoughts your way.

--------------Warning- detailed info ahead, don't read if it it will be triggering----------------

I'm pretty sure- I passed a golf-ball sized piece of material- I fished it out of the toilet and inspected it. It looked like a small amniotic sac. It was not intact and I couldn't find any fetal pole or whatever inside it, but I do think it was the sac. Poor little bean.

I suppose though if I were pregnant with twins I could have passed one of them. I've been worrying about that. I don't currently have an OB. My midwife is on hiatus. Maybe I should go to an urgent care clinic for a TV ultrasound to check out my uterus?

[Bugglette]

I'm so sorry!  Miscarriages SUCK!  I hope you start to feel better and find peace very soon!

[purplemamaturtle5]

 Praying!

[Katielady]

The urgent care place won't see me; I called and they said I'd have to go to the hospital. (People are so scared to have anything to do with pregnant women, it's sooooo frustrating!) No way am I going to the ER- I feel fine, the bleeding is slowed and already brown. My breasts are already smaller and no longer sore. I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm planning to seek out an RE for a checkup and will get a TV ultrasound as part of that, so in the off off chance I'm still PG they will find it then, but in my heart and head that chapter is closed. I'm sad but doing OK. So thankful to my husband for being me for a day so I could get a sick day. And thankful for a friend who is coming tomorrow with her kids to play with mine so we don't go stir crazy and I can sorta rest another day.

best of luck to you all, and thanks for the well wishes.

[heyitskalista]

I'm so sorry! :(

[tetiana]

So sorry about your loss Katielady. I know how hard it is, i had two miscarriages last year (Aug 24th and Dec 1st)  i still feel traumatized from those experiences. Good call on going to your doctor and getting an u/s.

Just sharing from my experience, if you are RH negative and your hubby is positive make sure to get a rogham shot. Also, it took 6 weeks, for my HCG to go down to zero after my second misscariage. Do not try to get pregnant until its down to zero, thats what happened after my first m/c got prego before HCG was all the way down,i was doomed from the start :(.

Do not give up!!! Stay strong! Miscarriages happen for a reason, its your body's way of telling something was not right. Stay strong!

[SweetTea]

I'm sorry to hear about this. Take care of yourself.

[wiggles06]

So sorry Katie for your loss

[travelmumma]

Katie I am so absolutely sorry... I truly cannot imagine what you are going through.

please know that my thoughts and prayers are honestly with you.

Please look after yourself in all aspects and be seen when you can.

Thinking of you,

Much Love xx

[mamacolleen]

So sorry to hear Katie. Take care of yourself.

[zebrachick83]

Big hug, Katie. I'm so sorry.