I'd love a little support here. I am finding 13 harder than I thought it would be, and for sure, harder than anything else yet. It feels sort of textbook, but pretty much we went from fairly easy, very connected feeling child to a growing, privacy seeking hormonal teen in what feels like a split second. Hard to catch my breath sometimes.
Most of the time I enjoy the ride because despite the angst, there are lots of good things happening, and a lot of positive growth. But I am totally not enjoying the boundary pushing, moodiness, and frankly, poor decision making that has happened once or twice.
I read on here about parents who seem to be so much more accepting, or zen about where they fit into the picture, but I have to say, I feel like I am floundering. We are an AP family, but I don't think we always feel so connected these days. There's a little more anger and frustration and conflict than I am OK with, on everyone's part. I don't know why I don't have that same ability to step back, but it's a real struggle for me. I question what I am supposed to be doing, and what my role is? Sometimes I wonder if all of the work of the early years really made a difference?
How do you do it? Did you end up feeling like your parenting actually made a difference? Were the early teen years more challenging than later? Did you ever feel like you acted poorly or didn't parent well in a tough moment, despite your best intentions? I feel like that a lot these days, and it's tough to sit with and makes me sad.
My dd would say that she loves us, and I am definitely her go to person, when she feels like opening up. She has this amazing ability to just move on, try to re-connect, even if it looks like a grudging reconnection-it's still there. I find that I have a harder time moving on, and I am supposed to be the grown up!
I hope some other (supportive) moms can chime in. I love this time, and I wouldn't trade it, but darn, it can be a little rough in it's moments.