Because I conceived during a long and confusing cycle, my midwife scheduled an ultrasound to determine gestational age. That was last Thursday, 5 weeks 6 days if I'm right about the date of conception. The size was right for 6 weeks 1 day, but there was no heartbeat. :(
The ultrasound tech didn't tell me about the size (I didn't know that until my midwife finally got the results, which took until Monday) but she said she didn't see a heartbeat and would get a doctor to confirm. The doctor walked in and said, literally in this order, "I'm sorry for your loss. I'm Dr. Lewis of Maternal & Fetal Medicine. I'm just going to repeat the scan to confirm." In other words, he did it certain of what he was going to see. He spent about 30 seconds on it.
He told me it was absolutely certain that I would miscarry. He offered a choice between having a D&C or Cytotec right away, or waiting to see if I would miscarry naturally. I asked if there was any reason to do it right away, like would my nausea go away sooner? He said no. I chose to wait.
I was very sad Thursday afternoon, but when I woke in the middle of the night I started thinking, "I still feel just as pregnant as before, and I'm not bleeding at all, and isn't there some chance of a mistake?" I talked with the midwife and did some research, and there is SOME chance. 5 days later I still have full-blown pregnancy symptoms and no bleeding. We decided to schedule another ultrasound on the 17th at a different hospital (I am fed up with Magee, for oh so many reasons, and my midwife center has had good experiences with Mercy) and if I still have no bleeding by then, I hope it will show that I'm still pregnant! I asked about blood HCG tests, but my midwife said they are just confusing and it's only if the level drops to almost 0 that you know it's a miscarriage.
Aware of Murphy's Law of Menstruation, I am wearing a maxi-pad and dark-colored clothing at all times. :D
It's great timing in a way because I am Episcopal, so we went to church Thursday and it was about, "Take this cup away from me. But let not my will but Your Will be done." and I told my pastor and a few friends and they were so, so kind to me...and then I skipped church Friday, but we went on Saturday night and Sunday for all the stuff about hope springing anew and how God can do anything! I feel so hopeful and peaceful. The trick is to sustain it through another whole week.
Any advice for me while I'm waiting?