Kettering is one of the decent areas, but it does have it is bad areas as well. The school district is ok.
The districts that are rated the highest, with the most parental support/dollars seems to be Oakwood, and maybe Vandalia Butler. Beavercreek has an excellent school district but seems to be having problems passing levy increases for the schools right now.
If you are looking for Montessori schools, there is one in Dayton Public, although I believe it is rated in Academic Watch or Emergency.
There are two private with a third one opening up Montessori schools. One in Beavercreek is opening up. One in Harrison Township (serves mostly North Dayton, Englewood, Clayton, Vandalia Butler), and one down I believe in Centerville which serves most of the south areas of town.
Trader Joe's can be reached with about a 20 minute drive from most of the areas listed above.
It would be helpful to know in what area of town you will be working, to give better advice as well, on where to locate...and exactly what you are looking for for activities for yourself and the kids..etc..
Birth wise....that is another story, but most people go to MVH who want low intervention/water birth/vbac, etc.