or Connect
Mothering › Groups › December 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Anyone else just freaking out?!?!... First time mumma :(

Anyone else just freaking out?!?!... First time mumma :(

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

Hey Mummas, (Sorry in advance for being so down)

 

I am going to be honest. I am freaking out.

I don't know why.

I have felt this way since we found out. (Only three days ago)

We were actively trying. Its not like this is unexpected or unwanted!

This will be our first. The situation is fine and perfect so thats not it??

Yes I am excited. Yes I am happy.

But I am freaking out... And I honestly do not know why at all.

 

What is going on? I just want to cry! I feel devasted. And then I feel a bit guilty because I feel devasted!

Why do I feel like this????????????????

 

Experience, advice and suggestions are truly welcome.

Sorry this isn't a nice thread :(

post #2 of 10

Deep breath, mama!

 

 

When I got pregnant the first time, I felt very similarly.  I think its fairly normal and certainly nothing to feel guilty about!  For me, as the pregnancy progressed, those feelings of terror subsided.  I'm sure they will for you as well! 

 

In the mean time, I think you should go treat yourself...pedicure, manicure, dinner out, a nice long soak in the tub? 

 

You'll be fine!  Don't worry!!

 

(((hugs))))

 

 

post #3 of 10

Well, if it makes you feel any better, this is my third pregnancy and I'm not in top mental shape. Honestly, I spend a lot of time wondering if this was the right thing to do. It doesn't help that I feel like retching and napping all day while I'm trying to go about life as normal. I work long hours and have two kiddos who need me too. I figure this is a pretty normal reaction to the circumstances!

 

Making a new human being is a major deal! It makes sense that you're taking it to heart. Plus, your body is on whole new track. My second pregnancy occurred under very poor circumstances and it all turned out ok!! That was a great lesson. My first birth and post partum was hell and that got better eventually too. I recommend suspending disbelief and cogitating on it as little as possible. Just know that millions of women have been and will be in your shoes. You are not alone. If that helps at all! I can't think of many life events more awesome and overwhelming and terrifying than having a baby. Birth and death tops the list in my mind.

post #4 of 10

I'm freaking out too, and it took over five years to get pregnant. Even though we've been waiting so long, I'm still in shock. My numbers are so high that I'm both excited and scared that we could be having multiples. I worry about time off from work, about where we'll put them, if I'll be a good parent.

 

I think it's normal to be worried, though. Everything is changing so much. DH and I both have stable jobs, we're happy, we're in a house we love, have savings, and I still worry. I can't believe I'm actually going to be responsible for another human being, and that it's growing inside of me right now.

 

I was in high school when my parents were my age, I took care of my brother a lot for the first few years of his life because my dad worked late, and my stepmother just checked out most of the time. I know how to hold a baby, change diapers, give baths, etc... but I've never actually been a parent. 

 

I think also, even though this is something that's very much wanted, it's still kind of a loss. No more eating cereal for dinner, or sleeping in until noon, along with a lot of other changes. We're not just living as a couple anymore, and even though it will all be worth it, it's still a change.

post #5 of 10

5th.

still freaking out.

post #6 of 10
Thread Starter 

I think I have figured out what it was/is thats distressing me.

I think its the fact that we aren't telling anyone til the 12 week mark, including family and friends (only my 2 best friends and DH know).

That and the fact that we recently lost one of our cars to a car accident so I can't be as out and about as I usually am.

Think its just a loneliness/ can't wait for family and friends support thing. Loneliness and pregnancy just don't feel like a good mix.

Plus hormones!!

hehehe

post #7 of 10

This will be my third. Panicked at the beginning of both of the other pregnancies, too. It's normal.

post #8 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelmumma View Post

Think its just a loneliness/ can't wait for family and friends support thing. Loneliness and pregnancy just don't feel like a good mix.


I think that's a big factor for me too. Also, the fact that many family/friends believe it is immoral to have a third ... increases my sense of isolation. But I'm resigned to that. My kids are excited for us! :) I think the first trimester is just hard all around. And then to try to keep it secret is tough.

 

post #9 of 10

This is my first too and although I was actively trying last week, I got a pang of "omg my life will never be the same" (and not in the great way that I know it will become after being a parent but in the mourning for my married-no-kids lifestyle way). And I felt so guilty for feeling that but I also couldn't help but cry over how new and unknown this all is. Everything has already changed and I guess I should expect that to be as scary as it is exciting.
 

post #10 of 10

one word. HORMONES. take it easy, mama. This feeling shall pass.

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: December 2012 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › December 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Anyone else just freaking out?!?!... First time mumma :(