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Moving and Starting New Job at 34 Weeks

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

Last week, I interviewed for and was offered a terrific job in Washington, D.C.  (My family is currently in Phoenix.)  I am delighted about so many things:  my new colleagues are amazing; I'll be heading up an incredible team; I'm really lucky to get a job at my level in the current economy (I had been applying for things well below my level); I'm super-excited about being on the east coast and getting out of the desert; we'll finally have real health insurance, after a long time on ultra-expensive COBRA; the job will provide tuition benefits for my dependents, relieving my worry about my 14-yr-old's looming college expenses. . . .

 

BUT -- I'll be moving cross-country and starting a new job at 34 weeks.  I also agreed to a mere 4-week unpaid leave after my baby is born in June.  The one thing this job doesn't provide is relocation benefits, so we'll be paying out of pocket. . . . and because I'm so pregnant, we'll be hiring professionals to do the actual moving (pricey).

 

I had been planning a home waterbirth with a CPM here in Phoenix; now I'll be transferring providers.  We're going to be renting in Maryland, which doesn't recognize CPMs.  It also looks like there are very few CNMs who will do homebirths.  I'm in contact with two potential CNM groups, but feeling anxious about what I'll do if neither of them take me on.  (I'm transferring so late; I'm 39 and overweight; I had 3 miscarriages previously, so I was on empirical Lovenox, etc. for much of this pregnancy.)

 

I'm the breadwinner in the family.  Right now I'm struggling with a little resentment towards my husband for "making" me give up the midwife, my time at home with the baby, my freezer meals (we're eating our way through them now, pre-move), etc.  That's not really how it works, of course.  I'm just feeling really stretched and scared about making all of this happen.

 

I'm trying to stay focused and simply summon up the courage and emotional strength and physical wherewhithal to make it through the next few months.  Good thoughts welcome.

post #2 of 13

hug2.gif What a huge change! Congratulations on getting such a great job! But, I totally understand that you feel anxious about such a big move so late in your pregnancy. It really sounds like a fantastic opportunity for you and your family, even if you have to give up some of your previous plans to make it happen. 

 

As far as the CPM problem in Maryland- have you checked out any of the surrounding states' status on CPM legality? This link has the state-by-state info for CPM laws. I was thinking maybe Virginia has some CPMs or CNMs that could travel to you, if you can't find anyone in DC.

 

Good luck with your move, and keep us posted!! 

post #3 of 13

Ooh! Congrats! I lived in Northern VA growing up and it was a WONDERFUL place to have my childhood. Weekend trips to the Smithsonians, the National Zoo, and the National Aquarium, Mount Vernon, and the National Gallery of Art... I could keep going and going. Man, I miss it a lot and wish I had those opportunities for my kids now.

 

If you end up needing to, definitely look into Virginia doctors. It's really a hop skip and a jump from Northern VA to DC to Maryland.

 

No doubt the move and all of the changes associated with it, especially during the final weeks of your pregnancy, will bring on some stress. But it sounds like overall the new job, move, and benefits will actually end up reducing a lot of other stresses in your life. I'm sure it's gonna be great! thumbsup.gif

post #4 of 13

Congrats!   That's awesome on the new job.  :)  Sucks on the timing, but everything will fall into place and work out, I'm sure. 

post #5 of 13

Congratualtions, Mama! What a brave step you are taking. It does sound like alot of unknowns and stressfull, but also an exciting adventure. :) I hope that you find the resources that you need (MDC is such an amazing spot to get help) and please keep us posted.

post #6 of 13
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the congratulations and positive thoughts.  :)

 

My current midwife also encouraged me to tap into the VA midwives if I can't find a care provider in MD.  They probably wouldn't be able to come to MD, but I'm open to considering birth centers or even birthing at a hotel as an alternative to a hospital.

post #7 of 13

I don't know how far you are willing to travel for a birth but there is a Birth Center staffed by CNM's called Birth Care in southern, southern PA (Bart, PA) about 1.5 hours from southern MD, maybe less depending on where you are moving.  I don't know if that's helpful or not.  They accept many types of insurance so that might make it a good financial decision even if you have to travel to get there.  There are a good amount of CNM's who do homebirths in southern PA because of the large Amish/Mennonite population.  Maybe someone will be willing to travel to MD.

 

You might also want to look into hiring a post-partum doula for the 4 weeks that you do have with your new LO to help with cooking and cleaning so you can really focus on time with the new one and healing from the birth (if you need it).  Since you are the breadwinner, will your husband be staying home with the new baby once you are moved?

 

I admire your bravery for taking all this on.  It will all work out for the best.

post #8 of 13
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the ideas, AndtheStars -- I'm hoping I can work something out in MD or VA, but I'll keep that birth center in mind.  With my daughter (14 years ago!) I labored pretty fast and the whole process took less than 6 hours, so I'd like to stay closer to home. . . but I also really don't want to end up in a hospital!

 

My husband will be staying home with the baby when I go back to work.  I'm really grateful that he can do so, but I'm also a little anxious about it, because he's never had any experience with an infant before.  I think we can all relate to feeling overwhelmed with a new baby.  My daughter will be around for at least part of the summer to give him little breaks, but she'll also probably spend a few weeks visiting relatives.  I need to figure out how best to keep the baby-caring manageable for my husband while not breaking the bank.  I'm thinking we might try to find a sitter or daycare option for one afternoon a week if he starts feeling stir-crazy.

post #9 of 13

Near a major metro area like that I would think he could even find a play group that is all dads, if that would be up his alley...

post #10 of 13

Praha Congratulations on this big adventure on an exciting new job. I am also moving in my 34 week from Denver where I spent my whole pregnancy to NJ where my 'real' home is. My husbands job has us traveling a lot and during this pregnancy I've lived in Dallas, Maine, Colorado and will give birth at my home in NJ. I can relate to your stress and the temptation to be upset with your partner for aspects of the disruption but it is important to focus on all the positive elements while acknowledging the real stress that is created in big transitions. Best of luck with your transition and a wonderful easy delivery of your new baby.

post #11 of 13

Congratulations on the new job!!  You must be amazing at what you do to get such an awesome opportunity.  You hear of employers discriminating against pregnant women for new positions because it will delay them working out on their schedule.  Be very proud of your self for getting this great job :)

I hope everything works out for your birth, finding a midwife etc.!

post #12 of 13

That is a whole lot of change at once, good stress, but stress nonetheless!  I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible. Take it all one day at a time, think how it will all be behind you in a few months and you will have a new normal that is completely awesome.  Congratulations on the job, it sounds perfect and it is a really good sign that your employer is not phased by your pregnancy. Good things to come.

post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 

I'll mention the idea of daddy play groups to my husband, kjourdan.  Good idea.

 

Wow, Artist -- four homes over the course of this pregnancy!  You're incredibly resilient.

 

Lite -- aww, thanks for the compliments.  I made a lot of promises during the interview, lol.  Now I just need to deliver.  :P

 

Tinams8 -- I do feel really great about my new employer.  My boss, the executive director, seems like an excellent and supportive supervisor.  The whole team seems pretty awesome, in fact.

 

Thanks again for the support and ideas.

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