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how to tell your toddler you are staying in the hospital

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Hello,

I have a toddler who will be turning 3 two weeks before my due date. She is a real mommy's girl and altho her daddy and I both put her to bed at night, if she wakes up she wants me, not her daddy.

Any suggestions on what to tell her when I am gone for the night in the hospital delivering her brother? We don't want to say that Mommy is gone to have your brother because she may get upset at her brother then....she is a very bright little girl and can understand a lot.

What are all of you telling your toddlers when you will be away at the hospital?

Thank you in advance.

post #2 of 6

My 4 year old is the same way. My ever present little shadow. He told me to stay home, and have the baby. I then I told him, that if I need a hospitaI, everyone will know where to find me. They will bring him to me soon. We put a car seat in grandmas car. I let him know that he is safe with grandma and she knows that he needs _____ and will have his favorite_____ . That's the best we can do. I did unexpectedly have to go to the hospital a few weeks ago. He did wake up, and cry some. He waited up all night until we got home. But afterward said it was really fun playing with grandma. So,he did really well. Maybe some of the anxiety we are seeking to prevent is unavoidable, but these are the life experiences that help us grow strong.  

post #3 of 6

I'm totally not worried about this...my daughter has an excellent relationship with two sets of grandparents who live in town (and stays overnight at one of their houses about once a month) so she will likely think of the whole thing as a grand adventure. I do think she will want to see her baby brother ASAP and will probably not want to leave him after he is born, though. Hoping a vaginal birth works out so I can come home sooner.

post #4 of 6

I'm not too worried either. My 4 year old has had a few sleep overs at his aunties and uncles and that has gone great. He also has a great relationship with my mom and loves spending time with her and although he has not had a full sleep over with her yet (will have one on May 4 at our house) she has put him to bed a few times.

 

I have told him that when it is time for mama to have the baby that Dada and I will go to the hospital and Nana is going to come and stay with him. I told him that Nana will bring him to the hospital to meet his new sibling and then take him home and spend the night with him. He was very happy with that arrangement he said "Woo Hoo"  I also told him that if Mama needs to have a c-section with this baby like I had to with him then Dada and I will have to stay at the hospital for 3 nights but that he can come and visit us every day and Nana will stay with him at night at our house and they can sleep in our bed if he wants. He seemed fine with that and I know my mom will plan some fun outings to the park and toy store. Mom is really sensitive to his needs and our parenting style so DH and I feel confident and I know he picks up on that.

post #5 of 6

I made a photo book about all the things that will happen, with the picture of her doing the same thing when she was a newborn.  So maybe show your daughter the photos from your hospital stay for her birth so she understands you did the same for her birth?

post #6 of 6

My son's a little younger-- he'll be a few months shy of 3 at my due date.  We're planning an HBAC, but just in case something happens that forces us to the hospital we've been preparing a few different ways... Reading books about the different ways mamas have babies, including going to the hospital... Talking about birth in generalities...and then (the most important to DH and me) we have an awesome friend, with a toddler of  her own, who has started taking DS for dinner and bath time one evening every week.  Last week DS really, really wanted to stay over night, so we're going to try it out.  He feels so comfortable and happy there that we've asked her to be "on-call" regardless of where we have this baby just in case it would be a better situation for DS to be hanging out over there.  She also volunteered to stay with him at our house so he'll be in a safe, familiar setting if that seems better... I'm not sure what the best answer is, but I feel really comforted knowing we have these options and my comfort, I'm sure, will transfer to him-- kids are so in tune with us!   I hope you find something that feels right for you too :)

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