I've been debating posting this anywhere and asking for advice/suggestions because I feel very self-conscious about it. But today, my moods scared even myself so I thought - maybe I'll take the leap.
For the past 2 weeks I haven't felt like myself. I'm currently 19 weeks and this is my first child. Throughout the first trimester of my pregnancy I was sick a lot, so that wasn't so great, but as soon as I rolled into the 2nd trimmester I felt fantastic! I had energy, no sickness, etc; I was loving being pregnant, especially since my bump was showing more and more.
In the past 2 weeks I have battled with quitting smoking (1 week smoke free as of today) and my moods have changed significantly. I feel self-conscious about posting this because I'm not sure if my moods are due to cravings, just regular pregnancy hormones, or something deeper.. so I'd just like some advice.
I feel angry all of the time, especially at my husband. We need extra money for when baby comes, so I have 3 jobs where he just has one. I get angry that I have to sign up for all these extra jobs and work basically all day, and he doesn't see a problem with that.
I feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore, and a friend of mine who's husband works with him told me that her husband said he talks at work about me, and how I "don't dress up anymore". He makes me feel ugly and unattractive.
When I get angry I have been throwing things, screaming, and crying. I'm getting constant headaches from grinding my teeth and tensing my shoulder muscles.
I run a daycare from my home where I watch 4 children Mon-Fri and I constantly feel myself losing my patience over kids just being kids. I dread work in the mornings.
I feel guilty a lot.. about living so far away from my Mom & brother, and not calling them enough because I'm so busy. I've always been an introvert and loved my alone time but I haven't talked to or hung out with a friend in forever, and just can't be bothered to arrange any plans or do anything with them. I miss my "home" a lot. My husband is military so we are 5 hours away from where we were both raised and I am starting to hate the base I live on. I wish so badly to be back in my home town so I can raise this baby.
There are many more feelings, the scariest of which when I think about if I made a mistake trying for this baby so early. I think "what ifs" like "what if I waited?" "maybe I'm not ready", etc;
I don't know if this is normal or if this is abnormal. I haven't told anyone about these feelings, not my husband or my midwife.
I'm just looking for some advice from you guys.