or Connect
Mothering › Groups › December 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › How many of us are in the "Over 35" crowd? ;-)

How many of us are in the "Over 35" crowd? ;-) - Page 2

post #21 of 29

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamabeakley View Post

It's not that the 'risks' of giving birth over 35 have changed - it's that in certain populations, it's become much more common than it was for a while.  

 

100 years ago, most women who had children had many children throughout their reproductive life - like, 10 kids, first born in their late teens early 20s, last born in their mid-30s early 40s.  That brings certain risks that have to do with how your body changes after bearing many children, and genetic risks.  And certain benefits that have to do with how much help you have to raise the baby!  Then once women gained greater ability to control family size, most women had several children within a relatively narrow window of their reproductive life - like, 4 kids, first born in early 20s, last born in early 30s.  That leads to the 'nuclear' family which can be isolating for parents, but relatively few physical risks.  Now, in upper socio-economic settings, many women are delaying childbearing until mid to late 30s.  This brings certain risks that have to do with age and inexperience, and certain benefits that have to do with resources & maturity.  

 

So where I live, for example, in a major metropolitan area, 'elite' doctors and midwives are quite used to women in their 30s & 40s having their first babies so may be less freaked out by it than they used to be.

 

I am 35 and will be when this baby is born.  I know there are some increased genetic risks vs. when I had my previous babies at 27, 29, and 32, and I'm not exactly happy about them.  But life is full of risk and unless I want to adopt (could never afford to) or stop at 3 kids, I have to accept those risks.  I think DH and I would be able to rise to the occasion as parents to a special needs child, although I worry about how it would affect my other children.  That's just a . . . magnification, though.  I worry about how having another child will affect my other children anyway.  (Not enough to not do it, though!)  And I know that whatever child we have will bring gifts to all of us we cannot know about ahead of time, whether neurologically or physically typical or not.

 

I really like what you've said. The way you you've phrased this makes a lot of sense. I think it's a really nice  and healthy way to think about childbirth for women in their 30s and 40s.

I love this: "whatever child we have will bring gifts to all of us we cannot know about ahead of time, whether neurologically or physically typical or not". This is a great thing for me to remember since it compliments an attitude of love and acceptance that I try to bring to my own parenting (including pregnancy and birth) experiences.

When my first was born, I lived in a community where it was common for pregnant mothers to be in their 30s or 40s. I now live in a community where most people my age are long done thinking about pregnancy. It's nice to remember I'm part of a community of like-minded women, even if we are in different places.

post #22 of 29

Because I'm a nut *cough* nerd I've already been researching prenatal tests, there's a new non-invasive blood test which has been out the last few months.  It's called the MaterniT21 PLUS, it's supposed to test for three of the trisomies with 99.1% accuracy in clinical trials so far...I'm going to ask the midwives about it and possibly call the company to get more info.  Though I'm reading that even if my insurance company doesn't pay for it it would be something like maximum of $295 out of pocket.  This is the 'new wave' of testing, if you read up on it a lot it really seems like in the future they will be doing these maternal blood screenings instead of most other prenatal tests.  I hear they also have them for RH factors (could avoid the rhogam as well).  

 

Just thought I'd throw that one out there.  The whole 'genetic issue' thing is probably the most worrisome thing for me.  And, I worry too about miscarriage.  I took more tests this morning and it was only a little bit darker.  I was worried initially, but then I looked up my tests I took back in 2005 that I had taken pictures of and those weren't that much darker either so it made me feel a little bit better.

 

I guess, just the fact that this was unplanned and feels so much like a 'gift' I just don't want it to go wrong!  Sigh.   

post #23 of 29

I'm 37 now and will be when this baby is born in December. DH is turning 40 next month. I was 28 when I had a my daughter and so far am feeling a bit more tired the second time around and praying that this pregnancy will be as easy as last time. 

post #24 of 29

I'll be 36 when this baby is born.    Thinking lots about the genetic testing stuff and interested in what other people are doing.   First midwife appt on May 9th.
 

post #25 of 29

I'm 39 - although my kids like to tell me, themselves and anyone else who'll listen, that I'm 36.  It's very sweet.  I'll thankfully not be having another birthday until after the pregnancy!  I have 4 kids already - my first was at 21, then 25, 26 and 33.  I think my last pregnancy was as easy, if not easier than the rest - practice makes perfect hopefully.   

post #26 of 29
I'll be 43 in September. I don't plan to do any extra testing beyond the 20 week anatomy scan.
post #27 of 29

I'll be 35 when the baby comes. :)

post #28 of 29

I am 39 and probably will be 40 when baby will appear(he or she might show up on my birthday actually),DH is 35.This is our first child,we are both very happy and hoping that everything will go well.


Edited by MarinaNL - 5/1/12 at 1:54pm
post #29 of 29

.....


Edited by nhklh - 11/16/13 at 2:53am
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: December 2012 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › December 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › How many of us are in the "Over 35" crowd? ;-)