So, you feel sorry for anyone who didn't have exactly the same parenting experience that you had, because you assume it couldn't possibly have been any good? This does not help either. Just as most people notice that one in five formula fed babies aren't dead, most people notice that there can still be a wonderful mother/child relationship without nursing. It's just spreading guilt and condescension to absolutely no good effect.
I didn't say anything that implied that I thought all non-nursing moms are doomed to have crappy relationships with their children. I also think that if I were in a situation where I couldn't nurse for some reason, I would have done my very best to make it a good experience and I would not be at all surprised to find out that people have good experiences with FF'ing. I did not mean for anything I said to make anyone feel guilty (except maybe all those IL's who don't allow bf'ing in their homes and the like) and I'm not sure why it would. My point was that I wish that our culture was more supportive of breast feeding. To the extent that women do not and are not able to nurse because they get no support (ie, women who had lactation consultants in the hospital that told them they were doing things all wrong and it wasn't working, like I did; women who's friends/family are grossed out by the idea of nursing; women who have never even considered it because they have had no reason to think about it), I think that's a shame. If there's any reason to think it's good for our culture to not be supportive of nursing, I'm willing to listen. As I said earlier, I've drank the kool aid. And I do believe that the same sort of thing in regards to childbirth -- supporting women in natural birthing/home birthing -- has been very damaging to a lot of women, so I could probably be convinced by analogy. I guess I have half-way convinced myself. Clearly my feelings about this are hurtful to folks... I guess I'm just not sure how I should be feeling about this.
Hey, guess what? Breastfeeding was so hard for me, and caused so much stress, that my relationship with my son was absolutely miserable the whole time I was still trying (and failing) to make it work. Once I stopped nursing, our relationship improved 100%. So you can keep your pity.
I am not sure why you think I'm having bad or mean feelings for people in your situation. I will certainly not feel pity for you. But if my sister told me the same story, I'd probably wish that nursing had not been so hard and caused all of that stress. I'm not sure what I should feel about that if sad is not an option. I'd be happy that she did end up having a great relationship with her babe and that was able to make a decision that worked for her. I don't *think* the feelings I'd have would be offensive to her. I will work on it...