Breastfeeding Passion - Page 4

[Youngfrankenstein]

I am not trying to make you look stupid.  I was where you were in my thoughts years ago.  I doubt you'll get many people to argue that breastmilk is the thing all babies should have, but then it gets trickier after that.

I think what many of the lactivists here are trying to say is that calling formula junk food isn't helping more women breastfeed.  I can see that you're growing and learning from this thread but your comment to me was as if I were trying to throw something in your face that you said 3 years ago.  It wasn't; you said it not more than a day before.

You told me how horrible you thought it was that I'd give a friend's baby a bottle of formula.  You likened it to me drugging him.

I feel as passionate as you do about getting babies to nurse, I have just changed my thinking that even though one is best, that doesn't make the other the end of the world.

[purplerose]

that's what i did also. and i enjoy feeding other babies! i enjoy my older children and husband feeding my daughter(though it was hard to watch at first, even though it was my own milk).

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein 

I feel as passionate as you do about getting babies to nurse, I have just changed my thinking that even though one is best, that doesn't make the other the end of the world.

[Imakcerka]

Originally Posted by purplerose 

that's what i did also. and i enjoy feeding other babies! i enjoy my older children and husband feeding my daughter(though it was hard to watch at first, even though it was my own milk).

It is nice to be able to do that.  My husband and brother would argue over who got to feed our 1st baby.  It was pretty funny.  They would even pick at each others ability to thaw my milk properly.  They both researched it and both felt they knew better than the other. 

And feeding other peoples kids formula never bothered me.  Babies thrive.  Babies have something to eat and fighting over formula or Breastmilk is kind of ridiculous.  Nobody should be shamed for their choices.  If I were to have another right now, I'm thinking that I would FF.  Dh would be responsible for all the care while I was at work and breastfeeding would add to my stress.  It also was the culprit for my PPD.  The stress was unreal!

[purplerose]

the guilt of not breastfeeding would stress me out! you are right what you said before about the kids being ok without having the absolute best but there are just things i can't let go! i hated breastfeeding with #3 but i kept it up bc i just couldn't let go. and she would NOT take a bottle but i wasn't willing to see how starved she'd get. i guess breastfeeding isn't the 100%heavenlyglorious thing in the world...hard to admit that! now i'll go whip myself with thorns and stuff.

[Margot Dawson]

I am sooo glad we had this discussion when we did.  One of my good friends, who I was particularly disappointed with for having FF, just told me in tears that her baby may have autism and is being screened for it soon.  I feel like if we hadn't had this discussion when we did, I would have had a mix of inappropriate feelings.  I'm in a place now where I don't feel like it was her fault at all, or mine. She loves her little guy so much and did the best for him that she could.  BF isn't a panacea, and life just throws you what it does sometimes despite our best efforts.  BF babies get autism too.  I bet there are lots of BF, no vax, etc. kids out there with autism and other issues.  I'm really glad I can be in a better emotional place to support her through this hard time.  

[eabbmom]

This conversation is important to have. I met a mom last week that didn't have milk ducts and I really needed to be knocked off my high horse at that moment. Members of my family are unsupportive of my plans to nurse past two and I had been getting defensive. I looked at the mother sitting next to me ff her daughter and judged. I then found out what a grief stricken experience it had been for her. As people we must understand that judgement furthers no cause. I have also been experiencing judgement about other women's birth choices. A friend put it into perspective for me; she said that if a woman deems it necessary to have a c-section what right do we have to say what equals necessity for her. The world is not black and white. I think that if mothers were more supportive of each other and ALL of the difficult choices and situations we have to make or be in the world would be a kinder place. For my own personal issues I don't think I would have the massive guilt I did about my homebirth transfer or formula supplemtentation (it was even medically necessary) that I had. Why did I feel guilty about formula feeding when it was necessary? Why should I feel guilty if I want to formula feed and take a night off? I shouldn't feel guilty in either situation.

[Margot Dawson]

Interesting article!  Apparently I am not the only one...   

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/fashion/differences-over-parenting-can-break-often-just-erode-friendships.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3&ref=style

[MichelleZB]

Originally Posted by Margot Dawson 

I am sooo glad we had this discussion when we did.  One of my good friends, who I was particularly disappointed with for having FF, just told me in tears that her baby may have autism and is being screened for it soon.  I feel like if we hadn't had this discussion when we did, I would have had a mix of inappropriate feelings.  I'm in a place now where I don't feel like it was her fault at all, or mine. She loves her little guy so much and did the best for him that she could.  BF isn't a panacea, and life just throws you what it does sometimes despite our best efforts.  BF babies get autism too.  I bet there are lots of BF, no vax, etc. kids out there with autism and other issues.  I'm really glad I can be in a better emotional place to support her through this hard time.  

Yup. Although there are some greater health risks associated with formula feeding, autism isn't one of those risks. We don't know what causes autism, but it isn't milk powder mixed with sugar and vitamins (formula). So you can rest assured that your friend didn't "cause" the autism by bottle feeding.

[rtjunker]

I think it's odd how defensive we can get of our choices either way. In all honesty becoming a mother has been a huge shock. All of it's hard, no matter which way you go about it. I do breastfeed. It's a lot cheaper than FF, and healthier for my LO, and I love the bond. That said it can be so exhausting and time consuming, and my LO has nursed like a champ from day one, I can completely understand why so many choose to FF.

The biggest shock I've had since becoming a mother is how many other women want to tell me how to raise my child, and how many people are plainly critical or oddly congratulatory of the choices I've made. Family, friends, in-laws, even strangers passing on the street seem to think it's their place to judge me, or worse judge themselves against me. It makes motherhood awfully lonely, when honest acceptance of one another's choices, and confidence in our own choices, would make us all happier.

I don't believe most pro-breastfeeding advocates intend to criticize, though it happens, as with any cause. I believe the real goal is to normalize breastfeeding, so that it doesn't have to happen behind closed doors, so that it is a real choice. My eldest sister had her first child 16 years ago in her early twenties, she has said to me that she wishes that she'd been older and more informed, so that she could have made different decisions, and stood up for herself when her in-laws pressured her to FF. I wish that breastfeeding hadn't seemed impossible to her.

[silvercloud3]

I SAY...'  IF BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC OFFENDS YOU ...THEN FEEL FREE TO PUT A BLANKET OVER YOUR HEAD !!