Weekly Chat Thread April 16 - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[Sol_y_Paz]

ithappened, don't beat yourself up if you feel the best choice for you and your family while living in another country is that choice for your twins and new family of 5.  No one can make a decision like that for you but a medical team you trust, but ultimately you and your DH.  

I can't imagine making such a big decision in the middle of a twin pregnancy so I don't have any advice for you (others did have good advice though!), just offering hugs and support for whatever you choose to do.  

Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 4/19/12 at 3:14pm

[Ninetales]

So, out of curiousity, being that a lot of people here are pro-natural birth, I'm curious about something.  At this point I don't intend to schedule a section - I plan to wait for labor to begin and then see if things progress in a way I'm comfortable with, but is there a point where you would go right to a section based on weight?  Is there a number that if you heard it at an ultrasound would make you not want a vaginal birth?  Or would you always base that decision on how the labor was going?

[LilyTiger]

Ninetales, having never been confronted with labor or a 13 lb baby, I would say at this point I would wait for labor to progress and see how things go.  Most of that comes from the stories I have heard of ultrasound weight measurements being really far off (the saddest case was a woman I know who was induced because her baby weighed over 7 pounds at like 35 weeks or something and when she was induced at 40 weeks the babe was only like 6 lbs.  Whoops.).  But given your past experience, I could see you being more nervous if they told you the baby was measuring over 10# or so. 

[intime0]

Ninetales, I'm probably not the best person to ask because I believe so strongly in natural birth.  But I would always, always let labor progress.  I have a friend who had a 12 lbr with no problems.  I have several friends who have had 10-12 lbs at HOME with no problems. 

It happened, I'm so sorry you are facing this kind of stress.  I UNDERSTAND exactly how you feel about being in a foreign country.  I do have the added benefit of a housekeeper and older children. 

Here, they have TONS of after birth ladies whose sole job is to come in and help out (confinement nannies).  LOTS of doulas.  And churches.

Do you have a church nearby? If so, it couldnt hurt to ask a pastor if there are any young adults or older teens who would be willing to come  help out with son at hospital for a few dollars in cash.  I dont know how much you can afford, but usually teens are willing to help for free or cheap.  I KNOW my daughter would help anyone for free!! 

Also, can you ask around for lay doulas, or doulas who are trying to get certified?  THey need 3 births to get certified, and then you'd have someone with you and not have to pay for anything. 

My last suggestion, is to ask around the nurses if there are any nurses who would be willing to watch him the day of the birth for a small payment. It's probably a long shot, but you never know. 

I'm really sorry. 

[ithappened]

For me I think 13-15 lbs would be c-s territory

intime0 I have found some people but no one who can start until September. Im going to keep asking around for summer.

[Ninetales]

Ithappened, is the area where you are like a lot of the rest of Europe, where everything just shuts down in July and August?  I can see how that would be so difficult.

I guess I'm thinking more, is there a size where you would say "I don't want to push this baby out"?  Knowing what I might be looking at here I can't help but think of the more negative outcomes when you're talking unnaturally big - broken collarbone/shoulders, dystocia, broken tailbone, injured cervix, serious tears, permanent incontinence, etc.  It's starting to overwhelm me.

[LeAnn A Doula]

Ninetales - That's a good question. I don't think there's a weight that I would shy away from but its definitely one of those situations that I can't know how I would truly feel until I was faced w it. Like others mentioned, size estimates get so unreliable as baby gets bigger. Personally, I would let labor begin and see how it progresses. I do think it would help to find a doc that had experience w successful vaginal deliveries of large babies. I think that kind of experience could be invaluable to help reduce the risks of harm to mom and baby. I think I'd be more apt to go for optimal fetal positioning exercises, lots of movement during labor, and anything that helped me let go, open and trust my body. 

With your last experience, I totally get your concern. But keep in mind that this LO may be just the right size. If you focus on a positive outcome and prepare for all possibilities, you will be ready for whatever comes your way. Hopefully you can find some peace, try not to let all the what-ifs overwhelm you.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I passed my GD test with FLYING colors.  83!!! and my vitamin D levels are FINALLY NORMAL. YEAH! 

 

Seriously I said on FB that this pregnancy has been night and day from my son's. I'm hoping that the labor pattern follows the same trend!!!! 

[pennywhistle]

Congratulations, tchotchkes!  What great news.

ithappened: the church idea is a pretty good one.  I wish I had more suggestions or support to offer you.

I had a really cranky night last night and hurt my husband's feelings.    Trying to make it up to him today - doesn't help that he's feeling sick and has a friend coming to stay with us this weekend.  I've been riding so high lately, just in a fantastic mood all the time, and then last night I just dropped.  Ugh.  Feeling much better today, though.  Hooray for the weekend!

[Ninetales]

Yeah, I've been looking for tips about big babies, the best positions, etc. but haven't been able to find much.

[jayraye]

newmumjoy - wow - you have a had a busy 10 days. being out here on an island - a roadtrip sounds like *heaven* to me right now. i miss the wide open feeling of the mainland! i know what you mean about that "fast approaching" feeling. i just purchased some awesome baby stuff from craigslist (boppy, ergo carrier, stroller) and it made it all so real! birth is just around the corner, isn't it.

ninetales - sorry if i missed something i - but are you worried because you have a history of having big babies? sadly, i have zero experience with natural birth. my son was born after a grueling labor that never progressed. i had to have an emergency c-section because he was face-up, i had a fever and was throwing up, and it had been 36 hours since the water broke. i had a broken heart when i realized that all of my desire for a natural birth would not come true :( :( :( but i am alive and he is healthy, and i have done a lot of letting go about that subject. i blame it all on my sons father, who left me when i told him i was pregnant. :?

now i am pregnant, giving birth at the end of august and am required (on maui) to have a scheduled c-section. maui doesnt have the technology/facilities to save your life if you have any complications from the first c-section rupturing, etc. so its c-section only, which is super depressing.....you have to fly to another island or the mainland if you want to have a natural birth. or you can sign a waiver and go against the hospital policy, to try to deliver naturally - but insurance will not cover one penny of your birth.......in any case - i am a true believer in natural childbirth, but i have been through the c-section route and am thankful it exists - whatever you decide will be the right choice for you and your baby, im sure of it!

really great ideas that intimeo gave to it happened - churches are notorious for having people who want to help at them! it happened - i hope that you find the perfect person/people to help in august. i know you will!

ilovetchotchkes - congrats on passing the gd test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

pennywhistle - i love your honesty. i too, am guilty of hurting significant others (can i just say SO) feelings lately. at the same time, i seem to be having my own feelings hurt easily. i have a sharp tongue and many opinions, so its always a challenge for me - but especially now!!! i find myself lately worrying that we are not going to see eye to eye on the issue of sleeping with the baby, vaccinating, discipline....all you other ladies out there - how does this stuff work out with you and your man??? do you often agree to disagree? do you have men who let you take the lead? 

hope everyone has a marvelous friday. i am moving all weekend but plan to jump in the ocean as much as possible in between.

xo - jayraye

[ithappened]

Ithappened, is the area where you are like a lot of the rest of Europe, where everything just shuts down in July and August?  I can see how that would be so difficult.

yeah. quiet literally I think the entire province we live in shuts down and goes to italy for 1-2 months holiday.. no one is here.. next to xmas its about the worst time to give birth in terms of having any help or options for help. I am posting on some student boards so hopefully someone bites.

On a side note- we took my BIL swimming this afternoon with DH, DS and I since we are staying at my FIL for the weekend while literally paint dries in our apartment-- and when we came home FIL was gone. BIL called him and when he asked where he was or when he was coming home FIL said 'he didn't know'. This is a really sad trend that happens every time we take BIL somewhere- we return to find FIL is gone and he does not leave any indication of where he is or when he will return- there has been multiple ocassions we just don't hear from him for a day or two.. and BIL is always so sad.. its hard to watch-- I can feel his sadness in a way.. I hate seeing this constantly happen. He's been handed off to nannies and au pairs his whole life ever since his mom died when he was 3, it feels very much like FIL never wanted him but just tolerates him.. . anyhow.

Edited by ithappened - 4/20/12 at 2:21pm

[NewMumJoy]

ninetales - it's gotta be tough pondering a "big baby" birth, especially if you ran into difficulty previously...... but I have zero experience there so I can only guess that I'd want to give vaginal birth a fair shot but also keep an open mind about the circumstances - are you planning to deliver at a hospital, or at home?  Just try to positively visualize your body and baby working with you, not against you....

ithappened - I hope hope HOPE that you can find someone from school or church available to help (either paid or volunteer), that would be ideal!!!  Fingers crossed for you, I think those are good leads to follow up on..... And how sad/strange to hear about your FIL's comings/goings!  How old is his son??

tchotchkes - congrats on the good test results!  Nice to hear that your pregnancy is going better this time around for you.

penny - hope all's patched up now w/DH.  I was really looking fwd to my DH returning home tonight after being away all week, and then our conversation turned sour on the phone this morning.  I really hope that things will pass once he's back, it's been a while since I've had such negative feelings and I really want to keep up the positive vibes for our LO....

jayraye - how disappointing that you can't even have the chance to give VBAC a try over there.  But at least it sounds like you've accepted the situation for what it is and can move forward with that plan.... Good luck with your move this weekend!

[intime0]

jayraye, Oklahoma is the same way.  There is ONE vbac doctor in the greater OKC area.  So sad. Everyone should have the choice.  And then insurance going along with that.  I'm glad you see it in such a positive light.  I wish I could say I took my induction with that same frame of mind.  I was a big cry baby about it.  

I loved what LeAnn said.

chotchkes, great news!

I'm sweating so bad I have a terrible rash under my breasts.  It  hurt like a sunburn last night. And of course my air con isnt working again today.

[iixivboots]

Hey, I just wanted to post an update about my back pain and say thanks again to everyone who gave opinions and support. This is an awesome DDC!

When I went to the chiro, she moved me around a bit and told me she thinks I have a hip flexor that is spasming due to relaxin and moving bones, etc. She did a session of electric stim and a few mild adjustments, recommended ice and rest/milder activity, and I'm going back next week. I'm glad to know it's not an organ issue/UTI, but I had NO idea a muscle spasm could hurt so much. I rated the pain a 7/10 and was really ready to go to the ER if things didn't improve. Hopefully I am on the road to recovery.