Bit of back story. My partner and I are going to start trying for a baby. We are a blended family, Ive given birth twice and she has given birth twice - but we have decided she will birth our 5th baby.
I had a hospital birth (which was not at all pleasant) for my first and then a UC, she had a homebirth transfer with her first and a homebirth for her second - both with midwives. I've never had a midwife.
Because I know what birth is like, and because I am mourning the fact that I will never give birth again (as much as I so desperately want to), I want to be involved with the birth and the birth preparations as much as possible.
Every birth story Ive read, mostly, and from reading blogs by midwives it's always about supporting the labouring mother - making sure she is all right, at peace etc etc.
So, as a midwife how do you support the partner? Make sure they're involved? Make sure they are part of the experience rather than just a bystander there to do cleanup or stay out of the way of the focussed mother?
What questions do you think would be helpful to ask prospective midwives to ensure we will get one who will support me, who will remember that I know what its like to birth, and who will see me as just as valuable as the mother?