Sleep pattern at 10 months...is this normal?

[Partaria]

Not too long ago, we transitioned DS to his own sleeping space, and we ended cosleeping. I was feeling great, because the transition was easier than I expected, and we were all sleeping better. 

Just last week, I had two people ask me if he sleeps through the night yet. I said no, that he wakes up every 2 hours. Which, he does. He wakes up every 2 hours, wants a nurse, a cuddle, and a rock, and generally goes back down to sleep in his pack and play. On a good night.

And they both looked at me sadly and said "oh that's terrible! he's really not sleeping through the night?"

So I got worried. I mean, should he be? I figure every 2 hours he needs something in his tummy, right? Or I mean, is this abnormal? Do most babies sleep through the night by this age?

[wyogirl]

That is not terrible.  Every child is different and if you are okay with your child's sleeping pattern, then that is all that matters.  AND, it has only been a week since you have stopped cosleeping.  Do not be/get discouraged, you are doing just fine!!! I know it sounds wonderful when someone's baby is sleeping through the night at 10 months old, but my son was not sleeping all the way through the night at 10 months. My sister's first son was sleeping through the night at 10 months, but her second was not.  Just keep doing what you feel is the right thing to do :D

[christinacat1]

Yes, definitely normal.  :-)  We started giving our now 20 month old a high protein snack before bed(cheese w/apple, chicken, cottage cheese etc..)When he was about 15 months and his sleeping stretches were a bit longer.  

You could try that, but keep in mind that they wake up through the night even as they get older, more so if nursing and/or co-sleeping.  My guy still co-sleeps and regularly wakes up to nurse which isn't a problem for me unless he wants to get up for hours... A whole other thread entirely!

I recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for advice on napping/sleeping routines etc...

Good luck and don't worry-it slowly but surely gets better!

[rinap]

In general, by 10 months, babies no longer need to eat every two hours. It's probably not exclusively about food. If it's hunger, a high protein snack before bed can help.

That said, while my girls can go long stretches during the day without nursing, I often nurse them back to sleep when they wake at night, and it is frequent. But they don't usually get a full meal worth of nursing at each waking, it's often just a little bit at earlier wakeups, though sometimes it's a whole meal in the early morning.

If this is working for you, then it's fine, and gradually (I have been told) the babies will start going longer between wakeups and eventually will forget to wake up.

[CascadiaMama]

I've heard that once they get older (and heavier), the pack and play mattress can contribute to frequent wake ups, as their weight on it compresses the pad and it's not as comfortable. Maybe something to troubleshoot? But my almost nine month old has occasional night's like this (we still cosleep; I'm sure he'd do this in his own space, too). I think he's only slept through the whole night once or twice, though 5-6 hours stretches are common for us. Sleep patterns can be so varied!

[Partaria]

Thanks, mamas. 

Things have lately gotten much worse. Now DS wakes every 1.5 hours. I nurse and rock him, but it isn't enough. He wakes up and won't be comforted back to sleep at all. I even bring him to bed, and he tries to crawl on my face, pinches me, pulls my hair. It's awful. 

I have done all the nighttime parenting for what is now nearly 11 months of his life. DH works at 2 am, and I don't feel I can ask him to get up with the baby when he gets about 5 hours of sleep a night anyway. So every night waking of this child's life has been up to me to handle.

I'm breaking down.

I think DS and I got maybe four hours last night? Maybe? I was sobbing at one point while he crawled around the living room floor. I know babies don't all sleep through the night at this age. I know. And I don't really expect that. But I would really like just one night in nearly a year that I can sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch. That is the absolute longest DS has ever given me.

I'm losing my mind and I don't know what to do. It is becoming difficult to be patient with him at night. In the dark with my sleep crazed brain, I am sure it is personal, and that DS is enjoying torturing me. I know, in the light of day, that this is insane, but at night my mind is just so exhuasted and crazy. I've come to dread the evenings.

Seriously, is there anytyhing I can do? I ordered a mattress for our PnP. Maybe that will help. I've tried teething gel, tablets, ibuprofen, none of that helps. I tried doing the No Cry Sleep Solution. For us, it was the No Sleep Cry Solution. I don't want to cry it out, but I'm really reaching the end of my rope here. 

[alisamarie]

This is my first post here, but I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. Although my situation isn't exactly like yours, it's similar... My son is 10 months old and we have basically been getting him to sleep using his swing up until the last couple of weeks. I've realized that it was probably a mistake to make him so reliant on the swing for sleep, because now we spend HOURS at night trying to get him to fall asleep. I'm totally okay with him falling asleep while nursing or rocking, but that rarely works. Every night it seems to end with him just crying and crying because he is so tired until he finally flops on top of me and starts to fall asleep (then I have to stay still for 20 minutes or so until I can edge myself away from him, or else he'll wake up crying all over again). Rocking, nursing, etc., just isn't working. We do a nighttime routine, dark room, etc., and still no luck. I feel like I have no more ideas with how to help him fall asleep without his swing. And funny enough, I even tried just putting him in the swing tonight and even that didn't work this time!

He also wakes up every 1-2 hours at night to feed (he's usually in the bed next to me) -- it's not a huge deal to me that he isn't sleeping through the night, but in all honesty, it would be nice if it were more like every 3-4 hours instead! But my biggest concern right now is getting him to bed at 7 or 8, when we first try to put him to sleep, instead of 10 or 11 - 2 or 3 hours later.

[wolfmama31]

Do you have anyone that you can do some homeopathy work with? While frequent waking is totally normal at this age, a well-chosen constitutional remedy (for both of you!) could really help even things out. Or craniosacrial?

The other thing would be diet - how about trying going dairy-free? And the other big irritants like wheat, soy, corn, eggs, etc? 

Have you tried keeping him up until you go to sleep? Then just hunkering down together? Forget about "proper" baby bedtimes. See if he evens out if you really follow HIS rhythm. Or he yours. What if you put your mattress on the floor, make sure the room's real safe, maybe have a night light on or something and then just let him be when he wakes? I mean, you're there with him but you're staying prone with eyes mostly closed. If he is waking and happy just let him be. And trust him and his development. And remember that even if you're not sleeping you're laying down and rest is restful!

[Redmom]

Aw mama, I know how demoralizing it is when other people comment on your baby's sleeping habits.

I have an 18 month old who wakes every few hours.  I just think that some kids are wired this way.

Did you know that babies (and adults too, in fact everyone) goes through sleep cycles which last up to a couple of hours.  When the sleep cycle ends, it is a very light stage of sleep.  For most of us, although we wake briefly, we go straight back to sleep and do not remember the wake up.  Well for some babies, they end up waking and my guess is, just need reassurance from mama or dada that they are not alone. 

I've read research that says babies are in REM sleep for a great portion of the time which helps their brain development, and REM sleep is very light sleep - ie easy to wake from.  So I tell myself although my baby wakes alot, at least he will be very smart!!!

[MrsGregory]

Partaria, how's it going now?

I noticed this thread and figured I'd pop in to say that mine, 8 months, frequently has nights where she is awake every 2-3 hours to re-latch, sigh, and then  drift back off.  She doesn't even nurse, just wants to know she can.  I'm taking it as completely normal.

I'm still co-sleeping, so this is less an interruption to my sleep than it is for you.  Are you hanging in there?  Are you all sleeping better?

[Partaria]

Thank you! Things are much better.

Nothing was working, and believe me we tried it all. We tried diet stuff, we tried all kinds of the gentle sleep methods, we did chiropractic care and craniosacral, and nothing helped. In fact, to be totally honest, some of it even made it worse.

For example, I tried the whole thing of sitting next to the PnP with DS and holding his hand or letting him see me while he fussed. But that made him angrier and angrier. As though he was saying- you're RIGHT HERE, pick me up, woman! His cries only escalated.

So after exhausting every avenue, we went with something harder core when he was around the 11 month mark. We would let DS fuss or cry for five minutes, then I would go rub his back and talk to him for a couple minutes, then leave, and wait another five minutes. The first night this went on for hours and it really was sucky. But, it really wasn't that much worse than what we'd been living with. I think I still got about the same amount of sleep, and there were about the same amount of tears for both baby and mama.

The next night, I set it at 7 minute intervals, and the ritual went on for maybe an hour? The third night, it went on for 20 minutes, then the night after that, he slept through the night, no fussing, and woke up a very happy bubbly well-rested boy. Sometimes now, I can hear him wake up a bit in the night and roll around, coo at his hands, then drift back to sleep. But he no longer wakes up screaming inconsolably unless something is wrong (poopy diaper or fever). Sleeping through the night wasn't really even my goal- I just wanted to be able to go and comfort him and have him go back down in his PnP, but it's what happened and I'll be honest, I was ECSTATIC.

I know that CIO methods are not welcome here at MDC. And I don't know if what I did counts as that. I didn't leave him to scream for hours, but I also did let him cry for those 5 minute, then 7 minute intervals. What we did, I think, is a modified Ferber method. But I truly believe that it was needed for my whole family to be more peaceful and to enjoy each other more. The situation had become intolerable for everyone in the house, and all other solutions proved to be dead-ends. DS sleeps much better now and has so much more energy and smiles during the day. I also have a lot more energy and patience with him, and we are having tons more fun than we ever did. In the end, I think I did what is best for my family and I feel good about that. 

[OSUvet]

Im really glad to hear that you've found some relief Partaria! As a mama of a 15 month old who has never slept more than 3 hours straight in his life (and that's usually during the day!), I get it. One of the only things that stops me from trying to night wean DS and try to get him to stop waking up so much to nurse, is that then he'd be totally weaned (only nurses at night) and I really don't want that yet.

Anyway I just wanted to say that I hope you aren't attacked for doing what you needed to do and in the most gentle way you could find. And that I'm glad your baby and you are sleeping! :) 

[MrsGregory]

That is awesome news!  I think you said it all when you said that the situation was intolerable for everyone, and that everyone is now happier.  You made a happy night-timae family, Mama! 

[LoveOurBabies]

Originally Posted by Partaria 

Thank you! Things are much better.

Nothing was working, and believe me we tried it all. We tried diet stuff, we tried all kinds of the gentle sleep methods, we did chiropractic care and craniosacral, and nothing helped. In fact, to be totally honest, some of it even made it worse.

For example, I tried the whole thing of sitting next to the PnP with DS and holding his hand or letting him see me while he fussed. But that made him angrier and angrier. As though he was saying- you're RIGHT HERE, pick me up, woman! His cries only escalated.

So after exhausting every avenue, we went with something harder core when he was around the 11 month mark. We would let DS fuss or cry for five minutes, then I would go rub his back and talk to him for a couple minutes, then leave, and wait another five minutes. The first night this went on for hours and it really was sucky. But, it really wasn't that much worse than what we'd been living with. I think I still got about the same amount of sleep, and there were about the same amount of tears for both baby and mama.

The next night, I set it at 7 minute intervals, and the ritual went on for maybe an hour? The third night, it went on for 20 minutes, then the night after that, he slept through the night, no fussing, and woke up a very happy bubbly well-rested boy. Sometimes now, I can hear him wake up a bit in the night and roll around, coo at his hands, then drift back to sleep. But he no longer wakes up screaming inconsolably unless something is wrong (poopy diaper or fever). Sleeping through the night wasn't really even my goal- I just wanted to be able to go and comfort him and have him go back down in his PnP, but it's what happened and I'll be honest, I was ECSTATIC.

I know that CIO methods are not welcome here at MDC. And I don't know if what I did counts as that. I didn't leave him to scream for hours, but I also did let him cry for those 5 minute, then 7 minute intervals. What we did, I think, is a modified Ferber method. But I truly believe that it was needed for my whole family to be more peaceful and to enjoy each other more. The situation had become intolerable for everyone in the house, and all other solutions proved to be dead-ends. DS sleeps much better now and has so much more energy and smiles during the day. I also have a lot more energy and patience with him, and we are having tons more fun than we ever did. In the end, I think I did what is best for my family and I feel good about that. 

Mama, you did what you had to do. No judgement from me, I can say that much.

I've had a piss poor sleeper too and for all the non-believers out there - it really can drive you to insanity. my dc#1 did not take day time naps and woke up every 20-30 minutes for the first 12 months of life. I was ready to (literally) jump in front of the next bus coming down our street.

An unhappy, very stressed mama is not good for any child and I say that from experience. I'm glad that things are better now.