Nursing is uncomfortable--considering weaning

[aiyasmama]

Hey mamas,  

I could use some support right now.  My little one is 32 months old, nursing is uncomfortable for me but still super important for her.  I'm wondering if the discomfort is hormonal because it's definitely much worse during my periods, but I'm also not sure that her latch is very good any more and she does a lot of pulling on the breast too (maybe because my supply is low?).  We nurse usually 2-3 times a day and the most important time for her is nap time because she falls asleep nursing.  Except lately it's taking a long time to fall asleep, lots of squirming, lots of discomfort for me.  We are in the middle of a big move right now and I just sold my rocking chair and I'm having a very hard time getting her to sleep for nap without it, even though I'm laying down to nurse her.  I was so frustrated today, and even though I managed to lay still and nurse her till she fell asleep, I had tears running down my face.  I think I'm having a hard time dealing with the nursing discomfort because I'm so stressed with the move....and of course I recognize that with all the changes this is not a good time to wean her either!  I'm feeling guilty and frustrated and ready to be done nursing and guilty again and at a loss....

[transylvania_mom]

you could try to teach her to fall asleep without nursing. I recently started this with dd, she's the same age as yours, as she was pulling on the breast, like you described. At bedtime or naptime, we nurse for 5-10 min, or as long as I can handle it, then I lay in bed next to her while she falls asleep. I also bring a sippy cup with water, so if she's really thirsty, she can have some water. You could pat her back, sing a lullaby or whatever works... except nursing.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you can impose limits and continue nursing, if that's what you want.

I hope your move to the new house goes smoothly.
 

[MeepyCat]

Mama, 32 months is an incredible run.

I want to tell you that it is totally okay to wean, because it is. 

I also want to ask if maybe the issue is that your almost three year-old is ready to drop a nap?

[lovetoski]

I agree...32 months is amazing!  I too have some discomfort in nursing my 31 month old because my supply is low.  I manage to get through it but it sounds like your discomfort is really bad.  I can really hear the emotion in your post.  Is your daughter good at listening and understanding, meaning could you explain your difficulties to her and ask her if it would be ok to at least cut back on nursing?  I find my son is able to converse with me about nursing and have some understanding around any discomfort I am having.  If the pain is that bad and you've nursed for so long I think you should be really considering your own wellbeing.  Nursing in pain is not fun and maybe you could begin to embark on a very gentle weaning process, not making it too fast during the moving process but at least starting on it so that it gives you some relief and hope right now.  My heart goes out to you! 

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by aiyasmama 
 I'm wondering if the discomfort is hormonal because it's definitely much worse during my periods, but I'm also not sure that her latch is very good any more and she does a lot of pulling on the breast too (maybe because my supply is low?). 

I think it is.  I am in the same boat.  DS is 33 months and during my periods I feel like I want to just scream. 

[Dr.Worm]

I recommend the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler.  It gives many great suggestions whether you are ready to completely wean; wean part-time or keep going.  Whatever you decide mama you did it for so long that you should not feel guilty at all!

[selkiewoman]

I'm having similar trouble, but it's not on my periods. My daughter is 33 months old, and is still nursing to get to sleep at naptime and at night. In the morning, she asks and I have been saying no. I feel terrible, but in the morning... I just can't.

I've been passionate about breastfeeding from the beginning, but at this point it is so uncomfortable... I just want to cry. My nipples feel sensitive all the time, and the nursing itself seems to be keeping my hormones in a real mess. I don't know how common that is, but I am unfortunately extremely sensitive to any fluctuations. My breasts are often sore, and my skin is breaking out like crazy.

Truthfully, I desperately want her to wean. I've tried various advice. Offering to rub her back or hold her doesn't work, she gets so upset. We practice lots of closeness, lots of hugs, and I'm just at a loss for what to do. I'm a single mom, so it's just me. I would really like to wean her, and it's hard to believe with how much she eats and drinks all day that she could possibly still need breast milk. But then I think... I thought she'd wean herself by now. Hoped, I guess.

I thought of taking herbs to dry up my milk, and I wonder if anyone has tried this as a way to slowly help their child wean off easier? I've talked to her about how she's a toddler now, and growing so well, that soon her body won't want nummies anymore, so my body's going to be making less. She listened intently, and seems to understand, but I think it just made her want more nummies more often in anticipation of them going away.