"Simply" Catholic Mamas - Easter through Christ the King

[JMJ]

This is a support thread for mothers who are attempting to live according to the teachings of the Catholic Church.  It was formerly the "traditional Catholic" thread.  Terms are difficult.  There seems to be no great answer to what term to use to describe us.  "Simply Catholicism" is a term from Cardinal George (former president of the USCCB), used to try to get away from Liberal/Conservative political terms, because the Church is not about politics.  It is about faith.  The term "traditional" Catholic has served us for a time, but I have a difficult time with this term as well because it is most often used to describe those who prefer Mass as it was celebrated pre-Vatican II.  Certainly, there are many here who do prefer the pre-Vatican II Mass, but that is not what unites us.  We are united by the fullness of our Catholic faith.  Perhaps it is "right and just" not to have a better adjective to describe us, for we are not some subset of Catholicism (though some may view us as such), but "simply" those who embrace Catholicism in its entirety.

As I asked on our previous thread, I was wondering if any of you have ideas on how to get together IRL with other Catholic families who have lots of children.  There are 3 other Catholic families that we're trying to get to know better, but it's difficult to find a place to share a meal with 8 adults and 14 children.  One family has a big yard and promises to invite everybody over for a barbecue when it gets warmer, but when it's not summer, what to do?

Originally Posted by happyblessedmama 

Waiting for the new thread... But!
My parish has an excellent moms group... What about bbqs at an outdoor park? Any of you have a large house? Parish hall available for a potluck?

We're from 3 different parishes.  My parish would be quite open to such a thing, but I'm not sure we could make it a closed group, and I'm not sure we're ready for it to be an open group yet.  There are many in my parish who have agendas contrary to Catholic teaching and are quite authoritative about their views, so it could be difficult keeping the group faithful to Catholic teachings if we open it up to everyone before we get well established.  3 of us moms with small children have been getting together regularly at each other's houses, but to add our husbands and another whole family of 7 so that we could all get together at once, we really don't have enough room in any of our houses without it being kinda insane (maybe we need to just accept insanity).  One family has a large enough yard, and we could do a picnic in the park on warm days, but it's not consistently warm yet, and I'd love a way to get together when the sun isn't shining.

[AnnieA]

Thanks for the new thread JMJ! I've been a bit absent as I've been dealing w/DD's heart stuff but now that we're past her surgeries and just in to regular baby stuff, I'm trying to get more involved again. I think a certain level of insanity is to be expected. As long as there's a yard for the kids to run around in, and it's not raining or blizzard conditions, kick the bigger kids outside to run around and burn off energy. Let kids eat on blankets picnic style and just enjoy each other's company! Now, we truly don't have space to host something like that (7 people in 1100 sq ft) but in a slightly larger house, I could see how it would work.
 

[mylilmonkeys]

Thanks for the new thread, and I like the new title!

We have one other local family that we get together with.  Four adults and 20 kids between us.  We just put up with the insanity.  And it is easier or more difficult depending on whose house and what the whether is.  The kids are better at disappearing indoors at their smaller house, but we have a park right next door for them to use in good weather at our house.  Sometimes we'll leave some of our older kids at home watching the littles, or they'll do the same.

You might look around at available community centers.  We have a youth club that has meeting space.  You may have to think creatively.  I envy the number of families you have to meet with! ;)

[tiqa]

Hi there.

I see this thread isn't super-duper active, but I thought I'd pop in on it in case anyone was lurking.

I was born into a Catholic family and was pretty regular at church until my teens, when I dropped out of it for various reasons.  I've contemplated going back through the years, but never really seriously.  I've been searching for a spiritual home and have been going round and round trying to find the "perfect" faith or religion, with little luck.  None of them are "perfect" in my eyes, and I'm exhausted.  I'm going to try to go back to Catholicism.  Maybe it's futile, maybe it's not, but I just want a sense of being home spiritually, and in the roughly fifteen years I've been away from the Church I haven't found anything better.  (And believe me, I've looked into practically EVERY path, from Islam to Paganism to everything in between.  I've found elements of all of them that I liked.  But none of them were "the one" in the end.)

I'm just tired and I want to go home.  I don't even "believe" whole heartedly in everything the Catholic church teaches, but, hey, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief" or something of that nature.  Blah.

DH isn't too thrilled with me wanting to go back to Church, although he considers himself Catholic.  (Though in the whole time we've been together I've seen him go to Mass exactly once, and that was at my asking.)  Oh well.

So if anyone's around... wish me luck.

[mylilmonkeys]

I don't know if this will help you at all, but when I was searching, I took a different point of view.  I considered that God is far more complex than my human mind can handle, and instead of searching for a Church that matched my ideals, I went looking for a Church to submit to.  I looked for signs, feeling that God would not have left us orphans and that we should have clear markers guiding us to the Church He established.  I read those signs as clearly pointing to the Catholic Church, which was just crazy and not at all where I ever expected to be.  There were many teachings that were very different from the faith in which I grew up, but I found when I approached from the same point of view you articulated, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief," and studied to find the reasoning behind the teaching, that the Catholic Church made sense.  

That said, faith is a journey and a work in progress for all of us.  Each Catholic will find ourselves at different points in alignment with the Church as we proceed, but as long as we are seeking to properly form our conscience and not just sit in a position of obstinate dissension, Christ meets us where we are and we are all glad to have you!  Welcome home!  I'm happy you're here, in this thread and coming back to Mass.

[mt_gooseberry]

Originally Posted by mylilmonkeys 

I don't know if this will help you at all, but when I was searching, I took a different point of view.  I considered that God is far more complex than my human mind can handle, and instead of searching for a Church that matched my ideals, I went looking for a Church to submit to.  I looked for signs, feeling that God would not have left us orphans and that we should have clear markers guiding us to the Church He established.  I read those signs as clearly pointing to the Catholic Church, which was just crazy and not at all where I ever expected to be.  There were many teachings that were very different from the faith in which I grew up, but I found when I approached from the same point of view you articulated, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief," and studied to find the reasoning behind the teaching, that the Catholic Church made sense.  

That said, faith is a journey and a work in progress for all of us.  Each Catholic will find ourselves at different points in alignment with the Church as we proceed, but as long as we are seeking to properly form our conscience and not just sit in a position of obstinate dissension, Christ meets us where we are and we are all glad to have you!  Welcome home!  I'm happy you're here, in this thread and coming back to Mass.

What mylilmonkeys says.  Especially the part about studying to find the reasoning about the teachings you aren't sure about!

[JMJ]

Thanks for the ideas, ladies.  I'll have to look into what community resources are available.  Hopefully, things will be easier as the weather improves, and that gives us time to look into options for the Fall.

Welcome, tiqua!  Have you visited the Catholics Come Home website?  I've found that the Catholic Church is an excellent place to ask questions and get answers.  I am constantly amazed by how well thought-out and consistent Catholic teachings are.  Even the most difficult teachings have their roots in the basic teaching to love and to respect life.

[mt_gooseberry]

I'm kind of whiny today (sorry!), but I just get so riled when I read some of the threads out there!  I try to avoid them, but sometimes I stumble upon one....  How do all of you deal when you end up on a thread that gets you riled up as a Catholic?  Do you just stay out of it, or do you try to convince the misguided that they are in error? 

[JMJ]

That's a hard one, mt_gooseberry.  (The side of me that loves gossip wants to know which threads... mea culpa)  As in real life, people are not likely to see things differently based on what I say if they're not already open to it, and even then, it's hard.  It's more likely if I have some sort of relationship with them, but if I walk into somebody's thread who I don't know, I don't have that, and it's hard to get online.  I mostly stick to correcting misinformation and sometimes make gentle little comments to nudge as much as I am able.  If I'm really riled up, and my comments are going to reflect that, I usually try to stay out of it or find another way to say it because I think that I'll only make things worse.  I don't know if that's right or not.  Jesus turned over tables in the temple, so maybe sometimes, I should be more bold.  However, he stopped that sin in its tracks.  I have much less power to stop sins over the internet.  I've been known to get more involved in battles of ideas.

[mylilmonkeys]

It depends where I am.  On this board, I'm a little more hesitant to be confrontational (even mildly).  I post on another board, not parenting based, where there is a much more diverse collection of ideologies, and I feel more comfortable sharing my perspective especially as it relates to defending the Catholic faith when necessary.  In real life, it depends on my relationship with the person/s.  I am much better at writing diplomatically than I am in speaking, so I tend to be much more hesitant to open my big mouth in public. LOL  

I probably should be more brave on this board, because we Catholics have quite a firm foundation in living according to the natural law, which much of AP centers on.  I guess, I just feel so outnumbered here (by people with radically different lifestyles) that I don't really need to create unrest in my soul because I opened my mouth and became a target, you know?  Maybe we could be a support system for each other if/when we do decide to gently drop in our $.02?  We can PM each other for a prayer on our behalf. ;)

[Trigger]

Originally Posted by tiqa 

Hi there.

I see this thread isn't super-duper active, but I thought I'd pop in on it in case anyone was lurking.

I was born into a Catholic family and was pretty regular at church until my teens, when I dropped out of it for various reasons.  I've contemplated going back through the years, but never really seriously.  I've been searching for a spiritual home and have been going round and round trying to find the "perfect" faith or religion, with little luck.  None of them are "perfect" in my eyes, and I'm exhausted.  I'm going to try to go back to Catholicism.  Maybe it's futile, maybe it's not, but I just want a sense of being home spiritually, and in the roughly fifteen years I've been away from the Church I haven't found anything better.  (And believe me, I've looked into practically EVERY path, from Islam to Paganism to everything in between.  I've found elements of all of them that I liked.  But none of them were "the one" in the end.)

I'm just tired and I want to go home.  I don't even "believe" whole heartedly in everything the Catholic church teaches, but, hey, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief" or something of that nature.  Blah.

DH isn't too thrilled with me wanting to go back to Church, although he considers himself Catholic.  (Though in the whole time we've been together I've seen him go to Mass exactly once, and that was at my asking.)  Oh well.

So if anyone's around... wish me luck.

Good luck! I'm a Catholic who definintely doesn't agree with the Church on a lot of things, but I choose to work toward change rather than simply "submit to the Magisterium".

[JMJ]

Originally Posted by JMJ 

This is a support thread for mothers who are attempting to live according to the teachings of the Catholic Church.  It was formerly the "traditional Catholic" thread.

Trigger, you are entitled to your own opinions, but please keep in mind the stated purpose of this thread.  This is not the place to try to "work toward change" in the Church and encourage others to do the same.  It is intended as a support for people who are trying to (or who are considering trying to) "submit to the Magisterium" just the way it is.

[mt_gooseberry]

Originally Posted by JMJ 

That's a hard one, mt_gooseberry.  (The side of me that loves gossip wants to know which threads... mea culpa)  As in real life, people are not likely to see things differently based on what I say if they're not already open to it, and even then, it's hard.  It's more likely if I have some sort of relationship with them, but if I walk into somebody's thread who I don't know, I don't have that, and it's hard to get online.  I mostly stick to correcting misinformation and sometimes make gentle little comments to nudge as much as I am able.  If I'm really riled up, and my comments are going to reflect that, I usually try to stay out of it or find another way to say it because I think that I'll only make things worse.  I don't know if that's right or not.  Jesus turned over tables in the temple, so maybe sometimes, I should be more bold.  However, he stopped that sin in its tracks.  I have much less power to stop sins over the internet.  I've been known to get more involved in battles of ideas.

Oops, I didn't mean to cause a "near occasion of sin!" :) 

Originally Posted by mylilmonkeys 

It depends where I am.  On this board, I'm a little more hesitant to be confrontational (even mildly).  I post on another board, not parenting based, where there is a much more diverse collection of ideologies, and I feel more comfortable sharing my perspective especially as it relates to defending the Catholic faith when necessary.  In real life, it depends on my relationship with the person/s.  I am much better at writing diplomatically than I am in speaking, so I tend to be much more hesitant to open my big mouth in public. LOL  

I probably should be more brave on this board, because we Catholics have quite a firm foundation in living according to the natural law, which much of AP centers on.  I guess, I just feel so outnumbered here (by people with radically different lifestyles) that I don't really need to create unrest in my soul because I opened my mouth and became a target, you know?  Maybe we could be a support system for each other if/when we do decide to gently drop in our $.02?  We can PM each other for a prayer on our behalf. ;)

^This is me too.  I'm pretty sensitive to criticism.  I also am afraid of saying the wrong thing and driving people further away from the Church.  So I kind of do what JMJ said, and just try to correct or make gentle suggestions.  The support system idea is a good one...next time I find myself teetering on the edge of saying something that could cause strife, maybe I'll reach out to the rest of you.  Just knowing that someone else on here is aware that an unpopular Catholic ideal is being defended will help!

[mylilmonkeys]

Oh boy.  So, I have been working through a lot of stuff recently.  As I draw deeper into prayer and seek God's will, I have felt a surprising and somewhat unwelcome prodding to homeschool again.  I am not going to jump in this next year, yet, but while prayerfully discerning, make tentative plans for the following year.  My twins will be old enough at that point to be somewhat content with preschool activities and less supervised play.  (For reference, I have a 15 yo ds, who will remain in public high school, a 12 yo dd who is currently at home with public virtual charter and I don't really consider her a homeschooler, 10-in-a-few-days yo ds, 8 yo ds, and 6 yo ds, all at the local Catholic school, 4-in-a-few-days yo dd who is registered to start preschool at local Catholic school next year, and then 14mo twins.)

Anybody else homeschooling?  What curric are you using?  We'd used CHC at one point, and I think I'll investigate them again.  I need something very affordable, unless God has plans to drastically increase our income within the next two years.

What am I crazy??  

[Trigger]

Originally Posted by JMJ 

Trigger, you are entitled to your own opinions, but please keep in mind the stated purpose of this thread.  This is not the place to try to "work toward change" in the Church and encourage others to do the same.  It is intended as a support for people who are trying to (or who are considering trying to) "submit to the Magisterium" just the way it is.

I'm not encouraging anyone to do anything.  I was merely responding to this, in support of this particular poster, so she understands that she is not alone:

I've been searching for a spiritual home and have been going round and round trying to find the "perfect" faith or religion, with little luck.  None of them are "perfect" in my eyes, and I'm exhausted.  I'm going to try to go back to Catholicism.  Maybe it's futile, maybe it's not, but I just want a sense of being home spiritually,

I don't even "believe" whole heartedly in everything the Catholic church teaches, but, hey, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief" or something of that nature.

So if anyone's around... wish me luck.

[JMJ]

Hopefully you'll get some better responses from other mamas, mylilmonkeys.  I'm interested as well.  I'm planning (starting) to homeschool, but my oldest is 3.  Right now, we're doing a Montessori-based home preschool with her.  We're either making materials or asking for/buying them as Birthday/Christmas gifts.  Religious education is integrated using religious stories (Biblical/lives of the saints, etc), music, and art, daily prayers (sometimes daily Mass), and discussions.  I haven't looked too closely into many of the different curricula, but of the ones I've looked at, I'm not sure I want to attach myself to one particular curriculum.  I want more flexibility to meet my kids' needs (readiness, interest).  I keep a number of lesson plans prepared (mostly in my mind) and mostly let my daughter choose from a few, or sometimes, I just tell her that I want to show her something new.  She and her dad go on hikes and do a lot of rote work while they walk.  We just keep giving her the next thing in a variety of subjects, keeping an eye out for making sure that she has a way to progress in different areas.

As needed, our plan is to pull from a number of curricula in different subjects and use the public library and other community resources extensively.  Some of the local schools have programs where homeschooled students can check out the textbooks used in the public school classrooms, so that could be helpful for keeping an eye on what learning is expected of a child at a particular age.  It would also give me another option for being able to teach from those textbooks or from something else of my choosing or let them explore concepts ahead of their "grade level" and subjects not usually taught in school.  I think that's easier with a younger child than an older one, so we may very well make some changes as our kids get older.

[mylilmonkeys]

JMJ,

Your plans sound a lot like what we did previously!  But, I think the challenge to keep up with multiple different curricula enough to be able to pull in different materials, or to make sure I'd covered all the bases myself led to me being burned out.  Well, that, and my daughter, #2 child, is just challenging.  She is very smart and very lazy, so she doesn't want to work up to her ability.  I kept trying to find something to inspire her.  Now she is just home doing virtual charter where I can keep an eye on her and listen to her teachers, but not have to teach her directly.  While we are still working on her getting up to her ability level, at least she is starting to take responsibility for her learning.  It's probably been the best year for her yet.  

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to discourage you at all!  I read that back and it doesn't sound very encouraging. :P  I'm just reflecting back on our previous experience.  Our biggest problem was that I never had the money necessary to get what I truly wanted to use, or supplement to the extent I needed to.  Our finances are in better management, so I think our experience might be different.  

[JMJ]

mylilmonkeys, I can definitely see burnout becoming a potential problem as we keep adding more kids, but it's working out for now.  I'm not at all discouraged by your post.  I'm sure our plans will adjust as our family grows, and if breastfeeding keeps spacing my kids 3 years apart, I might not quite make it to 8 kids before menopause, even if we have as many kids as we can.  Even then, my situation would be quite different.  I'm impressed that you're even thinking of homeschooling with 14 month old twins at home!

[AnnieA]

I go back and forth on whether or not I want to homeschool DD. I'll need to see what her capabilities are when we get to that point. It's undetermined right now if she has Noonan Syndrome so if we get a positive diagnosis, we'll have to see what her mental capabilities are at that point. She may need the SPED services from our public school system or she may need me to teach her. We'll just have to see.

Oh is there anything sweeter than the smell of chrism oil on a baby?!? DD was baptized on the day she was born because of her unstable condition due to her heart defect. Yesterday, we were able to finish the rite with the chrism oil, candle, vows and party with the family. It was awesome! Makes me want to have another just so we can do another baptism!
 

[mylilmonkeys]

Originally Posted by JMJ 

mylilmonkeys, I can definitely see burnout becoming a potential problem as we keep adding more kids, but it's working out for now.  I'm not at all discouraged by your post.  I'm sure our plans will adjust as our family grows, and if breastfeeding keeps spacing my kids 3 years apart, I might not quite make it to 8 kids before menopause, even if we have as many kids as we can.  Even then, my situation would be quite different.  I'm impressed that you're even thinking of homeschooling with 14 month old twins at home!

Glad breastfeeding works so well for your spacing!!  Mine are between 2-3 years apart, and we started waaaay early, when I was 18.  So we have a lot of potential baby years ahead yet.  I'm hoping menses stays far away for a bit longer yet, at least until the twins sleep a little!