I've had my son in the hospital with every stinkin nurse, doctor wanabe and doctor with their hands all over me and seein parts of me no one but my hubby and parents should see. I've had two beautiful UC's with my mother and husband present and greatly enjoyed them except for how hands on my mom likes to be, think of a hands on midwife who like to do checks and well that's my mom. In labor I'm so in this "I don't care, whatever!" mood that I don't say anything cause I'm really just concentrating on doing what I need to but I've never liked being handled so much when I'm in labor. My mom caught in my first UC and my husband in my second and this time I had decided to catch myself...
Now I'm secretly desiring to be completely alone except for the other kids in the house, I do it all alone anyways, it's not like they can take the pain away or do it for me anyhow. My son and nephew are 8 and old enough to help keep an eye on the 2 and 3 year old who will probably want to be with me watching and helping anyhow as we've been watching vids and they are just fascinated with it all and aren't bothered in the least by all the noises moms make even when a few have been screaming which I tend to be quite loud and with my last baby who was also my biggest I couldn't help but let out a blood curdling scream as I pushed out her big body.
My husband always gets so stressed about the birth, he's always afraid we're going to die and though we've not had any real complications in the past I have had issues with retained placenta that wanted to take a couple hours or so to deliver and it just scares the heck out of him. That said, he was rather calm, cool and very encouraging and helpful with the last UC where I freaked in transition, (which btw I am totally NOT forgetting the rescue remedy this time!) so I'm not so opposed to him being there but I dunno I just crave this solitude this time around from the prying eyes and hands of adults. Which is funny cause I was inviting a few friends earlier and now I'm taking it back, I just want this time to be primal and alone.
Anyone else feelin me here? I understand that there is concerns that others would have about the children being in the home while I solo birth and that their needs might not be met or in case of situations so I'll probably be making sure hubby is on his way home anyhow but I still seek this, any other mommas know what I mean?