or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › Bomb was dropped.. (teen girl is pregnant)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Bomb was dropped.. (teen girl is pregnant) - Page 3

post #41 of 51
Ask yourself what you will achieve by bringing her home. Will she stay? How much chaos will she cause for your other children? Will she make it an unsafe atmosphere for them? How will you get her to stay and if she does is it better for her to find a place and settle in now or a month before the baby is due?

She will be 18 in 5 months and be a mother a month after that does it really matter that she stays weekends with her friend. This is a maternity home and she's almost a legal adult they aren't babysitters. She sounds immature and I bet she will struggle wouldn't it be better to give her t he room to start growing up now. Let her go and give her the respect and space to have a possibility of making it. She will probably come looking for you later and you have a better chance of connecting with her is you let her go with love now.
post #42 of 51

One of my worst fears as a mother is a situation like this -- both for my son and daughter. Someone up thread jokingly mentioned their mother wanting to give them a  Depo shot in their sleep. I can see my self being *that* mother! Yikes!

hide.gif

 

Hugs to you mama and I hope it all works out. Your DD will learn really tough lessons soon enough. I hope you find the strength to be patient with her for the rocky years to come. Does she want the baby? Has she considered adoption or terminating the pregnancy (if it is still early enough...)? This is tough all around. I am sorry. 

post #43 of 51
Thread Starter 

Just want to say that I appreciate every single post here.  I was given lots to think about and hate saying I'm still unsure of what to do, but I just want to say Thank you.

post #44 of 51
I hope it works out for all of you.
post #45 of 51
Thread Starter 

She's home!  And seems glad to be here!:)  We've got lots to go through of course and I don't know if she'll be moving with us but for now she's home and all is going well.:)

post #46 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by marlne View Post

She's home!  And seems glad to be here!:)  We've got lots to go through of course and I don't know if she'll be moving with us but for now she's home and all is going well.:)

So happy for you and your daughter that this happened sooner than later! I wish you a less bumpy ride from here on out. 

post #47 of 51

I think you two need to have a talk about responsibilities.  If she wants to be treated like an adult ie later curfew, she needs to act like an adult, ie pay bills.

 

At 17 I was attending college and had my own apartment and a job.  I paid all of my own expenses.   I think it is reasonable for her to not be treated like a child but you guys need to come to an understanding of where the line is.  And what acceptable behavior is.  She is pregnant and is now responsible for another life.  Sadly, she kind of missed the boat for partying, tattoos and drinking.  Now she has to be a mama.  Its not something you are making her do, its just the situation that she is in and is a direct result of her choices.

 

I'm glad that she is home with you but you need to really come to an understanding of her role as a mother and the responsibilities that includes.  You can be there to help her like any parent will continue to do but she needs to start making the right decisions.
 

post #48 of 51

Sounds like this girl needs support, not "hard truth" that helps absolutely nothing, she is a teen girl, the only thing she has a base of is her emotions, and their not being supported

 

I was a teen mom, and I was treated terribly and it got me no where but feeling alone and scared.

 

She's 17, shes pregnant, and she has a curfew??

 

How much worse can she do, curfews didnt stop her before, what is the concern now? She needs to be an adult and she is being treated like a child, mistake number one, if you want her to grow up then treat her like a grown up, why is she being grounded? Is it a wonder she doesnt want to stay home? 

 

Making her feel like having a child is hopeless and youll never afford it is a terrible way to make a mother feel, because she CAN do it and she WILL do it, having a baby young is not a death sentence, she can continue to pursue a happy life and she NEEDS to know that she can do it

 

An abortion is her call, no one else should have a place in even suggesting it to her 

 

 

I was shocked at some of the suggestions on the first page, completely insensitive and not gentle parenting 

post #49 of 51
I'm totally shocked at the curfew thing. I cannot imagine having a baby living in my belly and someone telling me what time I was required to be home by. Rent or no rent, that just seems absurd. If she was a high school senior who was well on her way to getting in to a great college with an internship coming up this summer would she have to have a curfew?
post #50 of 51

i wondered how things are going. i can't even begin to imagine how hard it might be to deal with something like that so unexpectedly. i do hope you found a solution that has worked for everyone.

post #51 of 51

I don't understand what is wrong with the curfew? I admit I have not read all the posts but I was 18 pg living at home, in college and working full time and had a curfew. As long as I was under their roof it was their choice. And my curfew was 11pm! lol

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Preteens and Teens
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › Bomb was dropped.. (teen girl is pregnant)