Yes. I want this baby and love this baby and will do everything I can to take care of myself and this baby. BUT....
I was planning on this more like a year from now! We have two other girls (5 and almost 2). We have always planned on a big-ish family, so this is in line with our master plan, but the move from #1 to #2 has proven to be pretty difficult. Our second born is way more stubborn and demanding. I have lost my patience more in the past year and a half than I have EVER in my whole life. I guess, for one thing, I am concerned about how I will deal with the chaos and stress of adding another right now. My only hope is that what people tell me about #3 is true...I have heard from several people that going from 2 to 3 is a little easier than 1 to 2. Please don't crush my dream...those of you who disagree!!
Other worries on my mind (thanks for allowing me to get them out of my brain!)
1. The girls already share a room in our two bedroom house. We WERE planning on expanding the attic space into a third bedroom in the FUTURE. But we don't really have the $$ do to that now.
2. I had a plan for myself. I FINALLY realized that if I want ANY personal time or any chance to workout and get into shape that I must get up early and go to the Y before the house is awake. I have been doing it for about a month and LOVE IT!!! I JUST started to lose a little weight and started to see my muscles return. Now, I want to keep up my new routine, but it will be for a different goal. I know this is selfish, considering all the loving parents out there that have been waiting for babies for YEARS...but I just wanted a little time to get back into shape. Going into pregnancy 20 pounds overweight is kind of bumming me out!
3. While I'm being selfish....I wanted just a few months (maybe 2?) when I wasn't nursing or pregnant. Our toddler is nursing, which is great, but I was hoping for a Margarita (or wine or other fun drink) in the near future, without worrying about the little one waking up and needing to breastfeed. Also, my best friend is moving back to the area after almost 10 years of living in another country, and I had this dream of going somewhere with her (a mini vacation...where we could sip wine and soul bond) Say goodbye to that daydream! :)
4. I'm just simply overwhelmed! We have an old house that constantly has projects in progress, we have chickens and bunnies and cats and now an eight month old puppy that's in heat for the first time ever and dripping blood all over the place! Just to name a few things. UGGHH.
Those of you who have made it through this post, thank you for hearing my vent. Please don't get me wrong. I love being pregnant, and am very excited to have another baby. It just seems like the wrong time, but I guess this baby knows better than I do. Now's the time. The timing is for a reason.