Last time my DD1 (less than a week shy of 3) was at the home birth. We also watched birth videos, read books, and talked about how it would go. I labored during the night and she woke up when I hit transition and started screaming (I've been told I really wasn't that loud). She came in the room for a bit, but mostly played downstairs. It was a quick labor. She was awake for under 2 hours before DD2 was born. I had someone there just for her. She came in the room right after DD2 was born, and was immediately on the bed with us. She was beyond thrilled to have her sister here (even months later she would tell me "My sister is HERE"). She did the herbal bath with me and DD2, which she has very fond memories of. DD2 knows that story well. I was very glad she was there. I also had a list of people available to take her in case the labor went very long, or I ended up with a transfer or something.
I do wish I'd had someone staying with us to help with DD1 the next day. DH and I were up all night for the labor. DD2 was born at 5am. At around 8am everyone left and we all went to sleep, but by 10 or 11am, DD1 was up for the day and DH was taking care of all 3 of us on just 2-3 hours of sleep. He was a zombie the first 48 hours. The next morning I got up first, went downstairs and cleaned the kitchen while DH and the girls slept. I wasn't (and still am not) resentful. He really needed to sleep. I'd spent the day before in bed. I didn't wake him first. However, I'd like to line up someone to be here with the girls after the birth this time around so DH and I can rest and focus on the baby and on family bonding instead of on meals, naps, potty trips, and such.
This time we're doing another home birth and I haven't figured out exactly how we'll handle the kids during the birth, but I plan for them to be home. We're having the midwife, her backup/assistant, a birth doula, and a birth photographer (both personal friends who I really want to have there). I'm not sure who else to ask, and I'm starting to feel like it'll be a LOT of people... I keep thinking maybe between the photographer and the doula the kids would be covered, but the more I think about it the more I know they need their own support person. No clue who that will be. I tend to have fast labors and our nearest family is 4-6 hours away by car.