wiped out and feeling bad for my toddler.... « Back to Group Discussions

[mamaharrison]

I am 6 weeks along and just wiped out!! I am soooooooooooooooooo tired and really can barely function, which I know is normal and it happened with my DD, but I feel terrible for my almost 3 year old. I do not have the energy to chase after her the way she is used to and she is bouncing off the walls. It is HOTTT {we are in FL} and we live in a second floor apt with no yard to play in. I used to ride my bike to a park for her to play, but I cannot do that now--too hot and too exhausted. I feel so bad for her and I feel like a shitty mama right now. Ideas for how to deal with this for her and I both. My hubs works 12+ hour days and when he isn't working he is doing school--he is a big help when he can be, but it just isn't super frequent. 
 *sigh*
I know this will pass...right? Just feeling a bit overwhelmed with it today. We also just moved and our whole house is a wreck and I cannot even bring myself to finish a load of laundry! Holy worthlessness!!!

She has been yelling at us a lot, which is always an indication she isn't feeling connected and is not happy and of course, I have much less tolerance for that right now, too....arrggg....I used to think I wanted a ton of kids, but now I am wondering how in the world I would handle being pregnant as an 35+, with 2 other kiddos {thinking of the 3rd}....How do you mamas do it??

[esp831]

Can you get to the water?  Ocean or pool?  That is my solution for almost everything, but definitely pregnancy exhaustion and toddler energy.  I know it would be difficult to get out of the house, but once you're in the water I think you will both feel much better.  I understand that complete exhaustion, I'm feeling it too and I have a one year old who is pretty annoyed that I can't walk her around the house all day.

Just you being home with her is such a wonderful thing, you are doing a great job.  Don't worry about the laundry, it will get done eventually.  Just rest as much as you can (way easier said than done right?) and hopefully find a nice way to reconnect with you little one.

[purplemamaturtle5]

I'm in the same boat. I am almost 7 weeks along and I don't think I've ever been more tired in my life...not even with my other preganncies. My two little guys are crazy little things  and have so much energy (especially my youngest!) and I just want to sleep! I can't wait to get my energy back.

[LittleGriff]

It's just hour by hour over here. I work so don't have to face the kids all day but I start work at 5:30 a.m. and work straight through until 3p, so I'm barely functional by the time I pick the kids up. I have just had to let my parenting standards go - but it's temporary! I'll be back eventually. I no longer make meals - scrounging is working just fine! I plopped them down in front of Netflix with a bowl of popcorn at 4:30 yesterday and crawled into bed! I tell them repeatedly how tired and sick I feel and they seem to get it. (4 1/2 and 3) They seem to be enjoying my laxity in some ways, as long as no one's screaming they get to do almost whatever they want until dad gets home, but do seem to miss me. I'm in bed most of the time I'm at home now. It might be easier actually to have two because they have each other for company when I'm awol. And they're so excited about having a baby.

But I do feel bad about being such a crappy employee right now.
 

[BetsyPage]

It's weird because for the past couple of weeks before I *knew* I was pregnant, I was soooo tired... to the point where dh was concerned and wondered was I either pregnant or was there something really wrong with me! Since I found out for sure two days ago I've been feeling better (despite staying up super late the night I found out b/c I was jittery having found out.) Now my energy is pretty normal, but I'm waiting for that fatigue to hit. I am 35 and have two girls, 8 and 6 on Sunday... and I homeschool... and probably do too much volunteer stuff... and they want to be on the go quite a bit. So I'm thinking I'll have days where I'll have more energy and we'll do more, school & activity, and I'll have days where I will get the girls in swim suits or to the park and then we will just take it easy... the girls are going to have to get used to life with a baby at a certain point, so if I have to slow down during pregnancy, that will be good prep for them. (Plus I think we tend to be too busy anyway, so I'm looking forward to a year or two of saying "No!")

One blessing, if I say really NEED to take a nap, I probably can, my girls are old enough to not get into too much trouble if I'm napping.
 

[mamaharrison]

Went to the beach today, which I love doing, but wiped me out even more afterwards--the sun and salt always do ; )
I am coming to terms with this being a temporary thing and DD seems to understand since she is almost 3. Nausea is starting to kick in now. blarg. 

Planning on going to the mall later to let her run around in the A/C.

[zebrachick83]

We've been doing Netflix and Tombstone Pizzas for dinner here for the last week or so. I lay down with all three kids on our oldest child's bed and read chapter books when I feel up to speaking for that long. With early trimester exhaustion plus a nasty cold, I've been totally wiped out. They seem to be liking it just fine so far. 

[tropicana74]

My 2 year old has spent more days in his PJ's than I care to admit (and watched waaaay too much tv). 

DH works evenings so the kids have been having crackers/cheese/fruit for dinner....or cereal.

It's pathetic...but temporary. 

[katroshka]

Every first trimester (this is #4 for me) I feel like "Oh, no... how am I going to do this? I feel terrible, I'm so tired, how can I have another kid?" And then 12 weeks rolls around and I feel fine. At least until the big-as-a-whale-can't-move-or-get-comfy phase kicks in, but that's totally different, and imo not nearly as bad.

I go to school all day so my mom watches my 1 year old, she takes her fun places so by the time I get her she is usually not as much of a handful. Do you have family or friends you can send your dd to the park with or something?

Thursday night I was so exhausted that I barely ate dinner, fell asleep on the couch while DH gave the baby a bath at a little before 7, then woke up to go nurse her down, fell asleep while doing so, woke up at 10, watched a show with DH, went back to bed at 11 and slept until the usual 6:35 and was still super tired all day! I really hate the first trimester.

[mamaharrison]

Unfortunately not, Literally ALL  of my friends are either pregnant or just had another baby. My mom lives local, but she works full time and also doesn't know yet, so it isn't on her radar to help, but even once she does know I don't anticipate much help from her. She has a 12 year old step son and works full time and thinks she is 'MUCH' busier than me, the SAHM who works out of home 1-3 days a week...but somehow, I am still a non working person to her, go figure. Also, i am an only child, so she doesn't have a frame of reference for what I am experiencing currently and I doubt she will be very empathetic/sympathetic. So....long answer is , no ; )

SInce I wrote this though my husband and I have had lots of communication about what I need right now and he has been super wonderful with everything. He has been cleaning the house, dishes, bathrooms, etc AND taking care of DD a lot. So, I am not feeling as bad. Plus DD seems to be fine with our new less active routine as long as there is lots of cuddling and silly time, which there is.

thanks for chiming in and sharing mamas ; )

[wiggles06]

My dd is 3 and is used to going places with me everyday, so it's been quite an adjustment for all of us to just be home most of the time. I feel like I was hit by a train! I don't remember being sooooo tired with my first, but I was also 15 pounds lighter lol
It takes so much effort just to get out of bed forget trying to entertain a 3 Year old! Like in other posts, lots of TV time and reading if I can manage to even do that. 5 more weeks...long weeks!

[revolting]

I'm exhausted here too. I'm night weaning my youngest, so part of it is that. And then the first trimester is just tiring. I've let some of the housework go (though I have a midwife coming over to my house for a consult on Friday - eek!) but I find with having two, they do a pretty good job entertaining each other - when they aren't fighting, that is. My five year old is reading picture books to my two year old as I type!

Edited by revolting - 4/23/12 at 8:52am

[BaileyB]

I know how you feel. I am kinda snappy with my 15 month old who is 30 lbs. and not walking on her own (most of the time) yet. She likes to climb all over me and put toys in my face and it is annoying. Also, she is a total mooch when it comes to my food, haha. She sees me eating and wants whatever I have even if she is not hungry and is only going to squish it into the carpet. I also just started a waitressing job that I thought was going to be like 2 evenings and a weekend day shift and I have worked EVERYDAY since I have started! It also, doesn't help that my daughter is getting molars! Bahhh! To add to that my Grandfather-IL has been doing construction on our house for the last 2 weeks and I am suppose to paint the WHOLE downstairs in the next 2 weeks before the new flooring goes in. I am really hoping to get shit done before about 6 weeks because then I WILL be totally useless!

Actually, I better start now since DD is sleeping.....

[phatchristy]

UGH, I'm feeling bad for DH mainly.  I hit the pillow and I am out.  That's the one thing I didn't quite remember, how exhausted all of this makes me feel.  Sigh.

[Lilac11]

Yes I've been really sick and a total blob for the last month as well. Not much fun for my preschooler tho he seems understanding. And my husband's had to pick up all the slack. Please let this end soon! Oh and my house is a total disaster it's really embarrassing. As for my employer I've been useless. Cannot wait to feel better!