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Boys. Circumcision. - Page 4

post #61 of 86
I was waiting until after DH's quarter ended to bring this up (in case we were on different sides of the issue...no need to have added stress right now.). But he actually approached it this weekend. We were talking about other things we decline (vitamin k unless there is a good reason, eye goop, etc.) and he said "we're not going to circumcise, right?". I said, "well I don't want to" and he replied, "I don't really see any point in doing it."

Reason #129,567,456,231 I love my hubby. joy.gif
Edited by ilovejeff - 5/22/12 at 4:08pm
post #62 of 86

We didn't circ our first son.  DH's main issue was that it is a cultural thing for him and he'd get flack from his family.

Well, I looked it up.  The reason it's a Filipino Culture thing is that Muslim is a one of the main religions there.  He's Roman Catholic.  So, then he tried to tell me it's a religious thing.  I looked it up.  It isn't.  

He said I could have my way this time, but next time...

 

I think he was mainly concerned about his mother.  But, after she asked once and he told her that there is no medical reason to circ a baby she said, oh, as long as you have a reason',  (eyeroll) but at least that was the last we heard about it from her, I don't think it'll be an issue anymore.

 

I'm not going to bring it up again unless he does.  If this baby is a boy he will be left intact as well.  Besides, I THINK that since it is considered a cosmetic procedure I don't think medicaid will cover it.  LOL  works fine for me.

post #63 of 86

Well, I escaped friction since we're having a girl, but I'm pretty adamantly against circumcision. Since this one will have a different father than the intact boys I already have, I did bring it up. As in, the night we decided to be in a committed monogamous relationship, he asked me screening questions first and I asked him some too. We were both divorced and old enough not to waste our hearts or our time when we knew what our deal breakers were. I had a host of birthing/breastfeeding/parenting questions (along with a few political) in there. Since I didn't like some of his answers, I let him know right then what would happen to any child of mine and let him stick around to risk that being his child. lol

 

He said he didn't see why someone wouldn't give birth in a hospital because what difference did it make, you could make the experience you want anywhere and a hospital has all the technology possibly needed. I tried to show him how this was not an accurate picture (esp as far as experience goes) and he just didn't get it. So, I told him that he could go sit at the hospital while I was in labor if he wanted, but I wasn't going with him. He got on board. I usually get my way. :-)

 

He did know that if this baby were a boy he would not be circed, but that's a non-issue since it's a girl. Now, he says that women in his family wear nursing cover ups in public. I find them incredibly cumbersome and uncomfortable, so I expect he'll get over that too. I compromise on many things, but birth and babies I'm pretty hard set in my ways.

post #64 of 86

ilovejeff, that is so great!  Sounds just like my conversation with my DH.  such a relief to not have to deal with confrontation!  Congrats!

post #65 of 86

okay, ladies. we're choosing not to know the sex of our baby until the birth, and we think it's a girl, but in case it isn't, hubby is pulling out the research that says a circumcised man has a lesser chance of contracting hiv, aids, cancer, and certain std's. thoughts?

post #66 of 86
I intend to teach my kids about safe sex, including condoms, birth control, and what happens when these methods fail. I have two intact boys, and no intention of circumcision if this third baby is a boy.
post #67 of 86

oops

post #68 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by teegan db View Post

okay, ladies. we're choosing not to know the sex of our baby until the birth, and we think it's a girl, but in case it isn't, hubby is pulling out the research that says a circumcised man has a lesser chance of contracting hiv, aids, cancer, and certain std's. thoughts?

 

 

Off the top of my head..The US has the highest number of circ. men and also the highest number of HIV/AIDS cases (of men) in any of the developed nations- something about the research doesn't seem to add up.  Smoking and HPV seem to be much bigger risk factors for penile cancer than leaving foreskin intact.  And like another poster pointed out- we should really be educating our sons and daughters about safe sex practices and not relying on cutting off their foreskins.

post #69 of 86

There was that study done in Africa re: circ and hiv.  however, it has since been refuted.  Bad methods and all that.

I'll see if I can find you any links that will give you some back up info:

 

http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/cancer/

http://www.publichealthinafrica.org/index.php/jphia/article/viewArticle/jphia.2011.e4/html_9

http://www.savingsons.org/2008/01/circumcision-hiv-and-sexually.html

 

 

I hope that helps some

Good Luck

post #70 of 86

My response to the lowered risk of STDs argument has always been that when baby boy is old enough he can look at the research an make an informed decision about whether he would like to have surgery or use other methods to prevent STDs, but it's his penis so it should be his decision.

 

On an odd note, when I was at the bank the other day the teller asked me if I knew what we were having and when I told her it was a boy, her immediate response was to ask whether we had decided about circumcision yet.  She didn't particularly seem to be trying to sway me either way, I think it was just the first question she could think of related to boys.  It really threw me off-when I told people DD was a girl no one asked me about her genitals.

post #71 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsymama2008 View Post

 

On an odd note, when I was at the bank the other day the teller asked me if I knew what we were having and when I told her it was a boy, her immediate response was to ask whether we had decided about circumcision yet. 

 

jaw.gifI could see that being an appropriate question at an anti-circ rally or something, but the bank?! People come up with some odd questions.

post #72 of 86

I've been avoiding this thread because the circ conversation between DH and I has not gone well at all.  My son who is 3 was circumcised at 2 weeks old basically because lack of knowledge on our parts.  We thought we were doing what was best for him, without doing the research on our own.  I really regret all that.  Now that we've found that this baby is also a boy, I really would like to leave him intact, but DH gets very upset when the conversation gets brought up.  He refuses to do any research on his own, but just goes by what he's heard before (lowers risk of infection, cancer, etc).  Everyone else in my family also goes the circumcision route, so I'm feeling pretty alone!  Anyway, I guess this post is just for me to vent.  I hope the next few months DH and I can have a good heart to heart and hear each other out on this topic.

post #73 of 86

Whoa I can't believe a bank teller asked you that. A bit personal. 

 

DH brought up the lowered risk of stds too. He wasn't really trying to argue for circumcising (we're not), he was just playing devil's advocate. I'm in Canada so I referenced this review conclusion from the Canadian Paediatric Society, "There is evidence that circumcision results in a reduction in the incidence of penile cancer and of HIV transmission. However, there is inadequate information to recommend circumcision as a public health measure to prevent these diseases." I also looked up the official position of the College of Physician and Surgeons in my province which is that it is not medically necessary or recommended. 

 

Also I agree with the comments about educating kids about safe sex rather than relying on circumcision. Also DH is intact so I just asked him if he's worried about his chances of contracting disease because of it. It's not a big concern for him. I mean really if he'd be willing to cut off a part of our baby for that reason then he should probably go get it done himself which he's obviously not willing to do. 

post #74 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaforever View Post

I've been avoiding this thread because the circ conversation between DH and I has not gone well at all.  My son who is 3 was circumcised at 2 weeks old basically because lack of knowledge on our parts.  We thought we were doing what was best for him, without doing the research on our own.  I really regret all that.  Now that we've found that this baby is also a boy, I really would like to leave him intact, but DH gets very upset when the conversation gets brought up.  He refuses to do any research on his own, but just goes by what he's heard before (lowers risk of infection, cancer, etc).  Everyone else in my family also goes the circumcision route, so I'm feeling pretty alone!  Anyway, I guess this post is just for me to vent.  I hope the next few months DH and I can have a good heart to heart and hear each other out on this topic.

Hugs to you, mama. I know the feeling. If you want to PM me please do. 

post #75 of 86

A great source that I used to learn about the circumcision issue was Peaceful Parenting.  She has a website and blog and has a lot of really great resources on the issue.  Good luck mamas

post #76 of 86

The Circumcision Decision-Maker website is a favorite resource for many birth-care providers. 

post #77 of 86

Ugh, I have to vent. I'm sure y'all heard about Germany making religious circumcision illegal? Now, y'all also know I love babycenter and there's been a huge argument going on. What bothers me most is that - even 70 years after Hitler - Germans are still being protayed as antisemitic or Nazis. It just rubs me the wrong way, seriously. I'm sure some of those ladies having an opinion there are from small town America, have never left their town and work at the diner down the street. They are narrow minded and some even uneducated BUT, please leave history out of it. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I know this discussion would not be happening here, not like it is going on over at the BC Forums...geez.

post #78 of 86

MissE- I lived in Germany for four years. Many Germans are racist and specifically racist against semitic people. (the word anti-semitic is often used to mean anti-Jewish but it encompasses all of the semitic people including those who speak Arabic, etc.). You'd be hard pressed to find people in Germany who don't recognize the rampant racism against people who appear to have immigrated from the middle east or have middle eastern ancestors. The threads you are reading are undoubtedly full of people who are not informed about modern Germany (the internet is full of people talking about things they aren't informed about). But that doesn't mean that the modern racism in Germany had nothing to do with this law being passed. http://www.stern.de/news2/aktuell/kritik-am-koelner-urteil-zur-beschneidung-von-jungen-1846908.html "Das Urteil habe erhebliche Unruhe in der jüdischen und der islamischen Gemeinschaft ausgelöst. "Viele fragen sich mit Sorge, ob sie zukünftig ungehindert ihren religiösen Pflichten in unserem Land nachkommen können.""

post #79 of 86
I must have bren completely oblivious growing up. Maybe it's the location of where i grew up or maybe my parents had me too sheltered and just didn't care but i have never - in the 23 years i lived there - heard anyone in my family talk bad about jews/muslims/ middle eastern people. I lived in munich for four years and even there i cannot recall any racism. I wonder if my kids are going to be called nazis or jew-haters just for the origin of their mother.
post #80 of 86

Slavery was abolished over 100 years ago in America, and we have our first black president, yet racism is still alive and well in the U.S.

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