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prom - Page 3

post #41 of 57

I'm pretty fresh out of high school, to be honest... lol. I just graduated in 2008! I know things have changed even in those four years.. but not THAT much. 

Dresses really don't have to be that expensive. My parents gave me $100 toward my dress and they paid for my ticket sometimes (I went more than one year). If I wanted a dress that cost more than that, I could use money that I earned from working. If I didn't want to work, then I guess I could spend more than that!

I knew other girls who only bought dresses that were clearance-priced after prom season and then wore them the next year. I always found something at least on sale. I think my most expensive dress was $140. If you shop around, you can find something really truly nice for less than $200. Definitely. Although, from what I gleaned from girlfriends when I went off to college, it is a little harder to find something reasonably priced if you live in a big city (like NY/Chicago). As with all things in the city, I suppose...

 

So, I say set a price limit based on what you can afford and find reasonable... and then let your daughter moan and groan if she finds it unacceptable. I doubt she'll end up at the ball in a pumpkin carriage. ;)

post #42 of 57

My parents didn't allow me any money for prom at all. We were never really the kind of family where the idea that everyone else was doing something was any reason to do it. This had its good and bad, and I only went to one or two school dances in high school, which were pretty casual and I wore stuff I already owned. But at prom time I actually had a boyfriend and wanted to go to his prom. I had some money in clothing allowance because I practically never bought clothes, so I used that, and then my aunt (with whom I was staying at the time to do an internship) kicked in some in exchange for me helping her with some clerical work. My dress cost over $300, but my aunt and I had looked so many places and at less expensive dresses and it was the perfect one. I got shoes from Payless ($10), borrowed jewelry from my aunt, and did my own hair & makeup.

 

I acquired a thrift store prom dress and a clearanced one for under $25 each while I was in college, and wore one of those three dresses to every college dance.

 

Years later I would wear a $100 prom dress as a wedding dress.

 

I haven't really thought yet how I'll approach this with my daughter, but then again, she can't even walk yet, so I have some time.

post #43 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by giraffee View Post

We are still far away from that issue with my DD, but my step-son is in grade 7 and I often see his girl-classmates in designer jeans. I cannot justify putting my own behind in a pair of $300 jeans, and my DSS goes through so many pairs of jeans that it's ridiculous (he plays soccer on the breaks), so that's just not something that I see happening. However, the same attitude as with the prom dresses can already be seen with Christmas gifts (so and so got an iPad2 for Christmas, etc.) 

 

And it's all relative smile.gif. My nephew was a day student at a boarding school--the type that diplomats from NYC send their children to and offers sailing as an after school sport. This was provided by my sister's MIL and he lived with her and his Aunt (at gma's newly rebuilt house on the beach) while attending. Though his gma was quite well off (and provided for the education of he and his sister through college and a trust for his brother who is disabled, when she passed) most of his classmates were on another level; she had to explain to him why they couldn't afford to do certain things that his classmates could.

post #44 of 57

I would pay whatever the amount I needed to find a decent dress ( budget permitting).

 

DD is graduating from middle school this year, and I originally told her I would pay up to 200, but she knew (as did I) that the goal was a rocking good dress - not a particular price range.

 

She actually found 2 great dresses - both around 75 dollars.  She settled on one, and in a fit of generousity, I bought her the other.

 

Someone upthread said there is a difference in value and cost and I agree.  

 

If she loves a dress around 60$, then that is the dress she should get.  

 

 

post #45 of 57
Dd just bought her senior prom dress for $130. So I paid for it. We had said we'd chip in, but hadn't said an amount, but that was at the upper of what we were going to pay. She paid for her own ticket, and will probably pay for her own shoes. I will pay for hair if she wants it done. There is no way she was going to have a $400+ dress bought for her.
post #46 of 57

I bought my winter formal dress at a thrift store for $3 so my mom footed my whole prom bill.  I think it was $70 for the dress, but who knows how much I spent on jewelry and shoes.  I have two girls and hopefully they'll want to at least try looking at thrift stores or on Craigslist when the time comes.  If not then I'll give a budget and they can pay what they spend over that.  I'd probably be much more willing to drop money on a pair of shoes verses a prom dress b/c the shoes will get worn again, but  you're only wearing a prom dress once.

post #47 of 57

So DD has been telling me about "prom proposals". The guy orchestrates a clever, inventive way to ask a girl if she will be his date to the prom. It's become a "thing" to make a big production - like a band playing behind him while he asks her in front of everyone at lunchtime in the cafeteria.

 

No wonder the dress has to be a big, expensive deal, if this is the type of effort that goes into the prom experience and other occasions. In the past couple of years, she's attended a few big coming-of-age celebrations - Bat Mitzvahs and Quinceanearas - for her friends. DD and I had a pretty good conversation about what is left to look forward to, if parties are like this when you are 16. It makes a wedding look like small potatoes.  

 

I'm wondering if the "prom proposal" is just her school or is this happening elsewhere? 

post #48 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

So DD has been telling me about "prom proposals". The guy orchestrates a clever, inventive way to ask a girl if she will be his date to the prom. It's become a "thing" to make a big production - like a band playing behind him while he asks her in front of everyone at lunchtime in the cafeteria.

 

Oh my.  Can you imagine the embarrassment if she says  "no" ?????

post #49 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

Oh my.  Can you imagine the embarrassment if she says  "no" ?????

 

 

Yeah, I know. Isn't it hard enough being a teenager without adding huge expectations and big risks..... 

post #50 of 57

      Quote:

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

I'm wondering if the "prom proposal" is just her school or is this happening elsewhere? 

 

My first thought was these kids have seen one too many flash mob wedding proposals on you tube. So I googled to see if the prom proposal is a trend, and sure enough it is.  

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/20/elaborate-prom-invites-ge_0_n_1440850.html

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2012-03-07/The-art-of-the-ask-Teen-prom-proposals-get-creative/53397698/1

post #51 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbyGrant View Post

      Quote:

 

My first thought was these kids have seen one too many flash mob wedding proposals on you tube. 

 

For sure, it's the offspring of the over-the-top wedding proposal. I was thinking about those poor women who have "the question" broadcast on the big-screen at NBA or MLB games. 

post #52 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

For sure, it's the offspring of the over-the-top wedding proposal. I was thinking about those poor women who have "the question" broadcast on the big-screen at NBA or MLB games. 

 

For me, that would be an automatic "no". Any guy who thinks he knows me well enough to propose marriage, but would still make such a huge public spectacle of our private lives, is not going to be a good match. But, some people probably enjoy that kind of thing...

 

I've been married twice, and I've never had a proposal at all. Both my marriages were the result of an understanding between me and the guy in question. There was never any need to propose.

post #53 of 57

I haven't read past here, but I think your choice is just fine. My parents were so broke that I couldn't even get senior pictures. I was literally the only person in my class who didn't get them done by someone other than the lame photographer who took all the undergrade's pics. It is a big deal, and the reason why is because you feel different. Whether that's wrong or right. Have the convo with her about how it doesn't matter. She'll hear you. And she will be SO SO happy to go in a dress that's rockin. She'll be okay ~ she is 16 after all :)

 

And don't let people on discussion boards make up too much of your mind ;)

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

imakcerka i TRIED explaining how this won't matter in 2 years and she yelled that "it matters NOW!!11!" i am somewhat ashamed to have a child who thinks this way about *stuff*. i never knew how much other girls spent on their prom equipment, it didn't even matter to me. my 9th grader doesn't care, either. apparantly people talk about my oldest and she is known to be the "poor kid" in school, somehow? i think she is just full of it, honestly.

 

i am taking her today, dh talked to other parents at work and after cutting out the ones who spend thousands, the norm in this area seems to be $250-300 so that's what we're going with. If she'd just lift a finger around the house without being told repeatedly i'd handle it so much better! her whole attitude about everything lately has me down on her lol i was her age, of course, but i was doing so much more and worked all the time. my parents didn't pay for much at all.

post #54 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

 

For me, that would be an automatic "no". Any guy who thinks he knows me well enough to propose marriage, but would still make such a huge public spectacle of our private lives, is not going to be a good match. But, some people probably enjoy that kind of thing...

 

I've been married twice, and I've never had a proposal at all. Both my marriages were the result of an understanding between me and the guy in question. There was never any need to propose.

I would have loved it if DH had proposed at a Chicago Bears game. We knew we were getting married, but we each wanted the proposal so there would have been no chance of his getting shot down.

post #55 of 57
post #56 of 57

and this news report reminded me of this thread. http://shine.yahoo.com/summer-kick-off/michigan-teen-makes-prom-dress-starburst-wrappers-162500376.html

 

i wonder how teens would feel if one made the dress themself.

post #57 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post

and this news report reminded me of this thread. http://shine.yahoo.com/summer-kick-off/michigan-teen-makes-prom-dress-starburst-wrappers-162500376.html

i wonder how teens would feel if one made the dress themself.

Here's another one - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/01/regan-kerr-soda-can-prom-dress-colorado_n_1467574.html
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