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Can't we all just get along?? Helping 18MO adjust to me watching 2 1/2 year old....

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

So, I agreed to help out a friend by watching her 2 and a half year old 2 days per week while the usual caretaker is recovering for surgery.  I have an almost 18 month old, and for some reason, I thought that he would really love having another kid around to interact with, but once the novelty wore off (2 days), it has not gone as smoothly as I would have liked.  I suppose I should have expected that it would be a tough transition for him, but he has always loved hanging around other kids....How do I make this easier on them??

I have no idea how to "parent" a toddler!!!

 

The issues we are having in particular are:

 

1.) Sharing (duh).  My DS doesn't understand what sharing is, and I feel like that is developmentally normal.  I think that he is having a hard time with loosing some of my attention and a hard time navigating the concept of ownership at the same time as learning about "sharing" or "taking turns".  How do I help him through this while still being appropriate with my friends DD? I obviously don't want to sideline her (she's obviously still learning about taking turns and sharing too....), but I have no idea how to explain the situation in terms that she will be okay with, at the same time as meeting my DS's needs. 

 

2.) Naps.  My son still needs to nurse to sleep.  The first few days friend's DD would watch TV for 5-10 minutes by herself, but not anymore...and my DS is much too distracted by her being around to doze while I am reading stories to both of them. (she doesn't nap anymore). 

 

2.) Balance.  We are attempting the GAPS diet, and I am having a really hard time with it.  It's a lot of prep, and mentally draining. (food allergies and yeast problems, so  we are having food withdrawals and die off issues).  It's also hard on my son, and he has been very cranky and clingy, and he does NOT like it when I need to comfort friends DD.  (Who also has poop issues!).  Plus my friend sends her DD with food that my son would love to devour, but really shouldn't be eating.....My husband works a gazillion hours, so he's not around to help as much as he would like to, and so I am left trying to cover all of our bases. 

 

3.) Tantrums in a 2 and a half year old....usually surrounding potty use.  She holds in her poop, and I think she is afraid to pee for fear of the poop leaking out.  When she hasn't pottied in a while, she is (understandably) very cranky and almost impossible to reason with (usually she is quite understanding).  Then I have two constipated, cranky toddlers throwing cranky fits and tantrums because they both want me....HELP!

 

I just found out that my friends MIL (who was watching her DD) is having more surgery, and therefore they are looking for someone to watch friends DD for the next year.  I would love for this to work out...I like having someone around for DS to play with - they do actually get along a bunch of the time.  Friends DD seems to like it with us.  And the extra money is nice....But this is hard!!

 

Any words of wisdom??

 

(whew that was long!!!)

post #2 of 6

With time, they will adjust and love each other.  Soon, your son will miss her terribly when she's gone.

 

The toy solution is pretty easy. His toys stay in his room, and sharing toys stay out in the main room.  You can ask the mom to bring a few sharable toys over, you can purchase a few sharable toys, and you can find some of your son's sharable toys, and put them in stacking toy buckets in the main room.  

 

Plus activities in the kitchen that they can do together. Paint, coloring, playdough are all things that are loved by toddlers of all ages.  Make your own playdough so they can eat it without getting sick.

 

Two year olds have meltdowns.... just let it be, you don't need to facilitate her tantrum, just let her do her thing and rejoin you when she's done.  

 

I would NOT be happy that a two and a half year old wasn't napping.. that's the only thing that wouldn't be happening in my house.  You need the break, the kids need a break.

post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the feedback!!

I pulled out some toys to share and kept them in the living room, and tried putting away things that aren't easily shares.  It definitely made things easier.  And I've been getting stuff for more "activities", since those seem to be much more fun for everyone. 

 

And yes...I did end up getting her to nap.  Although my friend wasn't that happy with that, since apparently she won't go to sleep at night when she has a nap.  Oh well....maybe I can get her down a little earlier next time, because it definitely seems like she needs the sleep?

 

Anyway, we are working through things :)
 

post #4 of 6

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabySmurf View Post

Thanks for the feedback!!

I pulled out some toys to share and kept them in the living room, and tried putting away things that aren't easily shares.  It definitely made things easier.  And I've been getting stuff for more "activities", since those seem to be much more fun for everyone. 

 

And yes...I did end up getting her to nap.  Although my friend wasn't that happy with that, since apparently she won't go to sleep at night when she has a nap.  Oh well....maybe I can get her down a little earlier next time, because it definitely seems like she needs the sleep?

 

Anyway, we are working through things :)
 

 

Good.  I'm glad.  I believe that kids need that nap, and you need that break.  When my daycare kids outgrow the nap, they still need to rest quietly so the others can sleep.  They watch a movie during nap time.  Some days, even the four yr olds need a nap.

 

post #5 of 6

I second the nap! The 2 1/2 yr olds I know definitely nap!

post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 

I thought so to, but didn't want to "go against" what my friend had said.  She definitely needed the sleep.  I need a nap too after running after those two!

 

 

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