Okay i know most of this sounds like normal sibling stuff, but it's really testing my patience. My 1 1/2 year old daughter seems to only target my stepson with scratching him, pulling hair, biting, pinching, pushing. He goes to headstart in the morning so he is not home for like 4 hours. During that 4 hours I do not have any problems with my 1 1/2 year old and 2 1/2 year old daughters fighting during this time. It seems like it only begins to happen as soon as he gets home. I understand that the transition only doesn't only effect my stepson my my other children as well, but oh my goodness this is stressful!! I have even had to go as far as seperating them and not letting them anywhere near each other for prolonged periods of time. I don't even know where to begin to get my other children used to the idea of having a brother and that he now lives with us. It seems the only child of mine that gets along with my stepson is my 7 month old son. Any advice on this would be wonderful and greatly appreciated. Also I have some behavioral concerns about my stepson. He is almost 4. He gets up in my other children's faces, Yes including my 7 month old son's, and SCREAMS at them. He also puts toys on top of each other and squishes only the bottom halves together. (I don't know if this is normal child behavior or not but it concerned me). He also has a habbit of saying really mean things to my three children and my husband, such as, I don't like you, I hate you, I dont like you go away!, i hate you leave me alone! I keep pissing him off too, because while I am getting the kids dressed in thier pajamas and stuff and ready for bed, I flip through the channels on the tv to find a cartoon or something for them. He keeps getting mad at me because I won't let them watch Family Guy, or any other cartoon like that. It concerns me that he even knows what it is and can list off the characters. That is not something they need to be watching by any means. Other than that his transition is going great. We have only had that one rough night, he has not wet the bed, no waking up in the middle of the night. He is doing wonderful.
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Is he in therapy of some kind? Have you posted on the Foster/Adopt forum? I think some of this would be expected, as he has been through some very big transitions lately - removed from his home, siblings, mom, grandparents (even if they weren't taking care of him properly, this is hugely traumatic for children, and at 4 he's not able to express how he feels in a mature way - it comes out in behavioral issues).
The foster/adopt forum may have better advice (since I obviously don't have any!) since they have more collective experience dealing with children coming from foster care, and with the hard transitions.