So DH has been saying all along that he's fine with me homeschooling the kids if I choose to do it. That was all fine and dandy until it came time for them to actually start enrolling in kindergarten. DS is now five and "should" start kindy in the fall here in New York. Now DH is coming out with three arguments for schooling, and they're a little hard for me to respond to. I mean, I have responded to them, but I don't think to his satisfaction.
First, we moved from a state with pretty minimal school taxes to a state where they're some of the highest in the nation (New York). We pay a LOT in school taxes, enough that we could have afforded a private school education for a kids in our old state on this. And the schools are pretty good here. I'm not in love with schooling in general, I think the best can't really compete with the homeschooling lifestyle, but they're really nice as far as schools go. So he's saying that since we're basically paying the equivalent of a private school education, we might as well send them. He's mad about having to pay all that money and not get anything out of it.
Second, he agrees perfectly that I can teach them whatever academics I want and it would be a better education than the school could do. But he is clear on the idea that school is not about academics, really, and he wants them to go so they can sort out how to behave in life. He's not concerned about socializing with friends, really, they're fine with that. He wants them to learn how to conform to mainstream expectations of life because they're not learning "mainstream" from us. (They're also mostly media free, all the shows we watch are older, like Road to Avonlea for example.) I really don't know how to respond to that. Neither he nor I ever really fit in, either as kids or young adults or now. And for some reason, I think unresolved issues are coming out of him now, because now he wants for our kids to be a part of the machine instead of being, I dunno. Independent, or free thinking. (He's also been saying "no" a lot more lately to all sorts of things, like urban homesteading ventures, etc. He doesn't want to stick out of the neighborhood *at all*. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I guess he just wants the kids' lives to go as smoothly as possible.)
And finally, he's just concerned that I'll burn out from doing it all on my own and never getting any breaks. And, this is true. We have no family around to ever watch the kids, never have. It's always been on me pretty much exclusively since they were born. He's been clear that i can't expect any help watching them or with the actual homeschooling. He views public school as a babysitter so we can finally, after all these years, get some quality time for the two of us. He just wants us to veg and play Warcraft during the day or something mindless, or let me work on my novels (which I can't do when the kids are around) or finally re-start my Master's. We don't have money for a mother's helper unless we do some major re-arranging of budgets. He says I'm going to be very stressed out. And I can see how it would be lovely to have a bit of free time during the days, to be able to clean in peace, etc. - but I figure that when they get a bit older they'll be more independent too, and maybe I'll be able to get away during the day to do some writing, etc. But it still wouldn't leave as much DH-and-me time as he'd like. But what he's SAYING is that I'll be taking too much on and get very stressed out, and I won't be able to take care of him as well as if the kids were in school for a few hours each day. I tell him that that would bring stresses of its own (like getting ready on time, dealing with teachers and IEP's, conferences, tests, having to bring things in, PTA, all that sort of thing) but he doesn't think those amount to much.
Ugh. So... given those, how would you respond if you were me?