Okay ladies - the sex question « Back to Group Discussions

[teegan db]

I don't care about its reputation as boring, goody-two-shoes, or old-fashioned - I love missionary position. I can come to climax almost every time with my husband. But a few days ago (17w3d), he stopped in the middle of things and said "I feel like I'm smooshing the baby - we have to stop NOW."

The problem is that other positions don't often work for me. Friction gets uncomfortable when I'm on top, doggy style just feels awkward, and we don't seem to be angled properly for spooning (though we have tried a few times). I know there's always mutual pleasuring, and I'm fine with that, but sometimes a girl just wants some intercourse!

It's my first pregnancy, so this is all new to us. We're both in pretty decent shape - not gymnast yogis who can get into any position thought of by man, but definitely willing to try new things. Any mamas have any advice? I really don't want to give up intercourse until Thanksgiving!

[hoping4just1more]

Give it a go on the sofa. This is going to be tricky if ur sofa is not just the right height. But if it's too high, remove the cushion and if it's too low add a pillow. Just sit facing forward with ur butt on the edge and DH goes right in the front on his knees. This way as the belly expands u get to just lean back a little farther lol.

[MadiMamacita]

this is going to be tricky to describe.. you can try laying on your side and have DH behind you and not parallel to you, more perpendicular.. someone on another forum describes it as an L shape.

here are a couple more: http://www.babymed.com/sex-and-pregnancy/best-sex-positions-pregnancy

If you google pregnant sex positions you get some good info (and suprisingly not a lot of porn). I guess there are a few books about it and some youtube clips. And if you do it as an image search, Nukuspot's avatar is one of the first pics that show up.. weird!

[Lauren82]

Definitely try being on top again, especially as you get bigger. I can never climax on top while not pregnant, but the uh swelling down there caused by pregnancy makes it almost too easy. i also 2nd the L shape position. Also, scoot to the edge of the bed and have dh stand up. That works for us but i guess it depends in your bed height and dh height.

[mole]

ooh, what a fun question! there's a variation of missionary that i like a lot (i actually think it's the position our fetus was conceived in!). you can start out in missionary with a pillow under your bum (even that alone might make enough room that missionary will be comfortable and not squishing your tummy). your partner's legs move so that he goes from lying horizontally on top of you to kneeling. then you move your legs up so they are vertical, against your sweetheart's chest. 

[Flower of Bliss]

I agree on the sort of L position.  I can start off mostly on my back with my leg closest to DH up (just bend knee foot on bed or calf on DH) with DH on his side facing me.  As we get into it, I generally turn onto my side away from DH for deeper penetration, which gets to be more of a spooning position, but still a sort of L shaped one...

[hyde]

I just want to toss out there that a bullet vibe can be a great thing. There are certain positions that are exciting for my husband but which, even if pleasurable, don't do as much for me (i.e. doggy, where you don't really get clitoral stimulation)--assuming your partner wouldn't be mortally offended by it (and I think bullets tend to go over better with many men than the more 'invasive' styles ), the added help can go a long way toward keeping everyone happy. That way if you did some form of modified missionary, along the lines of what mole is saying, where he's more upright, you could still enjoy that angle of penetration, he could feel satisfied that he's not smushing the baby, and even though there's less direct contact you're covered. 

[wendipauline]

i also love missionary, and can usually only climax in that position, but the belly is definitely too big for that now. we also like a sort of on-our-sides facing each other position that is best with some strategically placed pillows. the intimacy of facing each other is pretty important for me. however- like Lauren82, i'm finding that suddenly i enjoy being on top, as long as he's being patient and still enough for me to figure out my groove :) i also like hyde's idea of using a little toy to help. we have never been big on doggy-style and there's no way i could have an orgasm that way, but a little vibration might be very helpful later on when the belly is enormous and we have to get more creative.

thinking about all of this now has me considering dragging him along with me for this afternoon's nap :)

[mole]

have you all thought about if the fetus can feel the vibrations from a vibrator? i bet it can!

[help007]

Ha- I can only climax if I'm on top; i've never climaxed during missionary.

I think the closest you can get to missionary without him feeling like he's smooshing the baby is with him standing beside the bed while you're lying on the bed with your bottom at the edge or hanging off. Assuming your bed is a good height for this, at least. It allows him to lean in close while still supporting his own weight (and your legs), or he can stand up straight with your legs around him or straight up against his belly/chest. This is also a great position for a bullet vibe.

Also note that when you're on top, there's LOTS of different angles possible.

[teegan db]

It's not so much lack of stimulation on top - it really is more of a friction thing, I think. While the parts that are supposed to feel good do feel good, there's a discomfort, too. We've never needed lubrication, but maybe that would help?
I will definitely talk to hubby about trying a few things - especially the modified missionary. Our bed is a mattress and boxspring on the floor, so we'd have to get creative with other pieces of furniture in the house. The T-shaped sounds... interesting. I have to say I don't entirely know how to picture it, but I don't mind trying to figure it out.

Thank you all for the help!

[goin' green]

YOu could also try laying back (in missionary) while he's on his knees over the mattress more upright.  I'm a top-loving girl, myself.  :-)

If anyone has any advice for how I can extend it (i.e., not finish in about 30 seconds flat) I'm all ears!  

[MotoMom]

So, I was always a missionary kind of gal. Love the closeness and being able to relax and concentrate, but my hubby is a bottom kind of guy and he's really good at it so I've learned to really like it! I would definitely say yes to the lubricant. Even if you don't usually need it, it's really handy to have it around when things get a little too frictioney. Also, my favorite version of missionary, which works especially well with the baby bump: you know the bridge? You lay on your back with your feet close to your bum and your knees in the air and then lift your pelvis so that only your feet and shoulders are on the ground and hubby can kneel in front of you. You can also support your hips from underneath with your hands and he can hold your waist. Lots of good face-to-face and the view of him is pretty fantastic! He can also adjust height by spreading his knees apart or putting them closer together. Good luck! 

On a side note and since we're talking sex, I'm so sad that my sex drive is so low now that I'm pregnant! I used to be a mad-woman about it and now it's totally cool if I just masturbate a few times a week. I don't tell DH that, though...