I hope its ok I start a ranting thread... :)
Our only family anywhere near us is my FIL, he is really demeaning and belittling to us generally speaking, has a horrible temper which can pop up literally at any moment and is also very absent and totally unsupporting (emotionally, socially, financially, babysitting etc) in our lives. He makes a point of, unintentionally or not, being pretty disrespectful to me and/or my decisions about my life, he has issues with me being 'an american' and issues with the fact I am a mother and I have a career at the same time. . . when he gets upset and DH someone triggers him, he will throw insults at us for days to weeks. ...
My parents are much more balanced emotionally and socially but are totally unhelpful with DS. When we leave him with them it can only be for a very short time (say an hour max) my dad will teach him stupid things (for example, to drink water then spit it as far as he can, we are still trying to break DS of this while at meals etc). When we leave from visits we joke about how we have to wean DS from my parents because they give him everything and anything and without limits, then they teach him horrible 'skills'
I grew up (perhaps naively) thinking that when I had kids I would, in some form or another have some supportive family and friends around us to be our village and here I am realizing we are very much alone. I guess I am trying to find ways to put closure to my feelings about being alone in this process but have not had any luck yet dealing with, for lack of a better word, my anger toward my expectations vs. my reality. This is even true to some extent around my husbands parenting skills with DS, specifically with the way he sets limits.
Has anyone else experienced similar feelings which have cropped up since having kids? How have you managed to process them or find ways to make peace with them?