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You are huge!!- Warning, Grumpy Pregnant woman

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 

I am a generally laid back and confident person. Quick to let things roll off my back. But I am about to snatch my mother-in-law bald headed!! 

 

This is my 4th baby, I understand my body may not be what it used to be. I am cool with that. I am healthy and have put on a normal amount of weight this pregnancy, stayed active (like I have a choice while chasing 3 small children around) and generally feel pretty good still.

 

Last night we went to a carnival with our girls, my husband captured on video our girls going on one of the rides, I was also in the video a bit. He posted it on his facebook. My mother-in-law then re-posted the video under the headline "look how HUGE my son has made my daughter in law!!". Whoa. Really lady? Huge? I am 9 freakin' months pregnant! She then procedes to call me, going on and on about how she has never seen me as big, how I must be so uncomfortable and how HUGE I look. 

 

So there you have it. I am officially a hippo walking around on hind legs. I waddle. I am sexy as hell. The next person who looks at me in awe that I am in an upright position is getting smacked upside the head. Unless they run. Because obviously I am in no condition to be chasing anyone. 

 

Rant over :)

 

post #2 of 24

You go girlfriend!!! thumb.gif

post #3 of 24

http://cdn.babble.com/being-pregnant/files/maternitytees/tshirt-01.jpg

 

:)  We just got back from the Dominican Republic where I got asked 3 times if I were having twins or triplets.  Which didn't really bother me so much as the people who seemed incredulous that my doctor "LET" me travel at 35+ weeks.  

 

I tried to remain as calm and sweet as possible each time I explained that actually we use a home birth CNM as our care provider for pregnancy and birth... and my lifestyle decisions aren't really up to her.  Yes, I had her blessing to go on the trip, but it's certainly not a health care provider's job to "allow" me do or not do anything.  Drives me NUTS!

post #4 of 24

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuNaLu View Post

http://cdn.babble.com/being-pregnant/files/maternitytees/tshirt-01.jpg

 

:)  We just got back from the Dominican Republic where I got asked 3 times if I were having twins or triplets.  Which didn't really bother me so much as the people who seemed incredulous that my doctor "LET" me travel at 35+ weeks.  

 

I tried to remain as calm and sweet as possible each time I explained that actually we use a home birth CNM as our care provider for pregnancy and birth... and my lifestyle decisions aren't really up to her.  Yes, I had her blessing to go on the trip, but it's certainly not a health care provider's job to "allow" me do or not do anything.  Drives me NUTS!

 

i had to fly into chicago from florida here at 37 weeks. i did not as for permission to travel either. i had a family death and i needed to go. funny how people who posted on my facebook that they couldnt believe that my midwife let me travel, the airline didnt ask for a permission slip etc.. didnt realize i was a child who couldnt make my health care choices. i flew, made it home safely and am currently 38 weeks along.

 

post #5 of 24

I was just talking about this to an older woman I work with, last week we were talking about how my MIL has been super annoying with the uninvited and totally obvious advice, and today I was saying how people keep saying I look small, and she said, 'why would anyone say that', "you just have to use that old saying with your MIL and everyone else", "Mind your own F@cking business!"  Unfortunately I don't have the guts to say it to all the people who are asking super personal questions and offering all sorts of advice, but I wish I did!

post #6 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by hollyann View Post

I was just talking about this to an older woman I work with, last week we were talking about how my MIL has been super annoying with the uninvited and totally obvious advice, and today I was saying how people keep saying I look small, and she said, 'why would anyone say that', "you just have to use that old saying with your MIL and everyone else", "Mind your own F@cking business!"  Unfortunately I don't have the guts to say it to all the people who are asking super personal questions and offering all sorts of advice, but I wish I did!

 

yeahthat.gif

 

oh how I wish I could be tough and confident when people say stupid sh*t

post #7 of 24

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuNaLu View Post

We just got back from the Dominican Republic where I got asked 3 times if I were having twins or triplets. 

 

I'm having twins, and the usual reaction is "Whoa! WHEN are you due?" - to which I replied "Two months" ("A month and a half", etc), and it was funny to watch shocked facial expressions. Then I'd add "It's twins! smile.gif" and see the "Aha!" look of relief.

 

But yesterday... not one, but two ladies decided that my belly looked too small. Too small for twins. It was the first time it ever happened, I was really confused.

 

One just cannot win.

post #8 of 24

Lol....I somewhat know the feeling....
All of my family kept commenting how much bigger I was with this pregnancy (even though everyone else thought I was so small..lol). I am generally small during my pgs but with this one I have been bigger. All of my family kept asking if I was having twins. My dad even asked a few weeks ago...."Are you sure there are not two or three in there?" I just laughed....but was somewhat like eeeegads. It didn't bother me much as I was somewhat hoping for twins anyway. But we just found out that there is in fact only one baby........which means that apparently I am hippo like too..lol.

Funny thing is that I haven't gained a whole lot with this pg! But I will say that at my u/s the tech kept talking about how chubby my baby was and estimated that it is 8 lbs already....and she measured me at 37 weeks (although by my calculations I had just turned 38). So apparently I just have a big baby..lol.

post #9 of 24

Oye! I don't understand how people, family or even strangers feel they can say whatever they want to a preggo woman...OYE!

post #10 of 24

I keep getting told 'any minute' cause of how huge I am. Hippo on hind legs! LOL

 

I so know the feeling!

post #11 of 24

eyesroll.gif

 

I hate this aspect of pregnancy.  Dh has a short business trip to make next week, and he's staying at a nice hotel.  The kids and I could go with him, and even escape some of this house stuff.  But, I'm tired of being examined by every person who passes me.  Some friends are coming to stay with me instead.  I just feel SO anti social right now. 

 

JUST STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!

 

Okay, sorry. I'm done.  redface.gif

post #12 of 24

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1More View Post

eyesroll.gif

 

I hate this aspect of pregnancy.  Dh has a short business trip to make next week, and he's staying at a nice hotel.  The kids and I could go with him, and even escape some of this house stuff.  But, I'm tired of being examined by every person who passes me.  Some friends are coming to stay with me instead.  I just feel SO anti social right now. 

 

JUST STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!

 

Okay, sorry. I'm done.  redface.gif

 

Ha!  I'm doing a half marathon next weekend so I'll be like 38 weeks 2 days.  I'm just walking it so it really isn't a big deal, but I know people will be gawking, which is irritating me in advance.  Maybe I'll quote you on my shirt!

On a sort of unrelated note, just because I have 2 daughters doesn't mean I'm hoping for a boy.  This is the first pregnancy where I really have genuinely not even had a gender preference but people (family, friends, random strangers who ask what we're having) can't seem to understand that.  I'm thinking about taking a note from those British parents and keeping the baby's sex a secret for a while after birth ;)  Although probably only for a day or so, not 5 whole years or anything!

post #13 of 24
Luna- you are amazing. I can't even walk a mile without having to stop and pee, drink water, maybe take a nap wink1.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuNaLu View Post

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1More View Post

eyesroll.gif

 

I hate this aspect of pregnancy.  Dh has a short business trip to make next week, and he's staying at a nice hotel.  The kids and I could go with him, and even escape some of this house stuff.  But, I'm tired of being examined by every person who passes me.  Some friends are coming to stay with me instead.  I just feel SO anti social right now. 

 

JUST STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!

 

Okay, sorry. I'm done.  redface.gif

 

Ha!  I'm doing a half marathon next weekend so I'll be like 38 weeks 2 days.  I'm just walking it so it really isn't a big deal, but I know people will be gawking, which is irritating me in advance.  Maybe I'll quote you on my shirt!

On a sort of unrelated note, just because I have 2 daughters doesn't mean I'm hoping for a boy.  This is the first pregnancy where I really have genuinely not even had a gender preference but people (family, friends, random strangers who ask what we're having) can't seem to understand that.  I'm thinking about taking a note from those British parents and keeping the baby's sex a secret for a while after birth wink1.gif  Although probably only for a day or so, not 5 whole years or anything!

post #14 of 24

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rozziemama View Post

Luna- you are amazing. I can't even walk a mile without having to stop and pee, drink water, maybe take a nap wink1.gif

 

DH is walking it with me this year instead of running it and I'm totally using him as a pack mule to carry my fuel.  Instead of a few gel packs like usual, this year I'm gonna take some foot-long subs and maybe even a pizza or 2.  Oh, and cake and yogurt.  Hahahaha!  We did a full marathon when I was 12 weeks and he got so mad at me because I sat down several times, spread out all my snacks and had myself a little picnic ;)  Baby comes first!!! lol  And believe me, my nap will come shortly after I cross the finish line:)

post #15 of 24

Wow, Luna.  I am totally impressed.  I rolled my eyes inwardly this morning when I had to run across the yard to save dd 3 from riding the trike down the hill. 

 

As for having another girl...I went through that , too.  And, as much as I thought I wanted a boy, I realized that I don't really want a boy.  I want people to let me enjoy my baby, boy or girl.  So what if I have 4 girls?  For comments sake, I do have a son, so at least random people don't seem so horrified or whatever.  After I figured out what my hang up was, I'm totally embracing that this baby might be a girl.  And, I'm actually kind of excited about the idea.  3 little girls, ages new, 18m, and newly 3 are going to be pretty cute together.  :)  And my mama bear says back off to anyone who wants to make comments about my new baby!  This whole thing is part of the reason I'm being anti-social for the first two weeks.  Having a baby isn't about flipping the boy/girl coin.  It's about welcoming whoever is supposed to be in our family next, and intend to just enjoy who my baby is for a while before I have to defend his/her existance...

post #16 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuNaLu View Post




On a sort of unrelated note, just because I have 2 daughters doesn't mean I'm hoping for a boy.
 

THIS!!! I mean yes...I *am* sort of hoping for a boy (because I need some back up in a house where Daddy can do NO WRONG and mommy is always the party pooper ;-)) but people act like the only reason I have any business being pregnant with a 3rd is because I don't already have a boy, and clearly, not having a boy means my family is lacking somehow. It's so infuriating.
Just1More - you completely said it...I want people to just shut up and let me enjoy my baby! I don't want to know other peoples' opinions on the gender configuration of my family or whether or not I should have more kids or any of that stuff. This family is me + my husband and our children and I hate the thought of welcoming a baby girl and feeling like those around me (who are supposed to be loving and supportive) being less than joyful with us simply because SHE isn't a HE. And of course it's borrowing trouble...because I don't even know what I'm having...and I know the other night when I had a dream that it was a girl (first and only baby dream this pregnancy where it wasn't a boy) and I so distinctly remember pulling her onto my belly in my dream, seeing those little girl parts and feeling nothing but pure joy because THIS IS MY CHILD and I LOVE HER. But still...I know that the sentiments of the peanut gallery tend to seep in around the edges of these experiences and it only makes me more primal and protective about this baby. Seriously...it's 2012 and the fact that other people are still hung up on sons vs. daughters is kind of barbaric IMO.

My MIL has been out of town for the last few weeks and she'll be coming back next week and I am quite honestly dreading seeing her again because I know she's going to make all kinds of snide remarks about how huge I am. How is it that women - women who have HAD CHILDREN - do this to each other? Don't they remember what it's like to hear all the insulting, hurtful, asinine comments from people about their size/baby's gender/etc. Sheesh.

The other day I was at the playground with DD2 and there was a grandpa there with his grandson and when I said I was due in about 3 weeks, he said "Wow! You look so small!" I almost kissed him, darling man. :-) <---I am NOT small, but I don't feel like I'm freakishly large for how far along I am (I'm certainly not measuring at all ahead)...but he's the only person in recent history who hasn't gone the "OMG, you're huge you must be miserable" treatment.

Anyway...love that here at least is a place to rant about how horribly persecuted we are as pregnant ladies (eye roll ;-) ). Let's just all try to remember our current outrage when we're in our 50's and watching our daughters, daughters-in-law and various other ladies in our lives have their babies...and keep our opinions about the size of their pregnant bellies to ourselves. ;-)
post #17 of 24

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lightheartedmom View Post

Let's just all try to remember our current outrage when we're in our 50's and watching our daughters, daughters-in-law and various other ladies in our lives have their babies...and keep our opinions about the size of their pregnant bellies to ourselves. ;-)

 

yeahthat.gif

post #18 of 24

Yes, yes LHM & Rozzie!

 

It's crazy how "You look so big" and "You look so small" can be equally insulting.  How about "You look radiant" "You look so happy!" or "You're beautiful, Mama" ?  :)  Much better choices!

post #19 of 24

I'm keeping a list of things to stop myself from saying to pregnant friends in the future. I've already caught myself a few times.

 

I think "you look small / huge" should just be universally replaced with "you look great." There is no reason to use any other adjective but "great." I do not need to know if I look tired, big, small, or puffy. For the record, I feel like a whale.

 

The other thing I really REALLY can't handle is the number of people who insist that my birth experience will be exactly like theirs. Even if I was aiming for exactly what they had I probably wouldn't get it, and quite frankly we made a lot of decisions to at least attempt to steer most things in a different direction from most people.

I've heard lots of "as soon as you get there they'll strap you to a monitor and not let you get up until the baby is born" and "if you're lucky they'll let you suck on some ice chips, no eating in labor," and other "facts" that just aren't true for the hospital we're using.

 

I know they're just trying to be helpful, but at 8.5 months pregnant I just want to scream. I've spent months preparing for this. I may not know what to expect from my body, because no one really knows until it happens, but believe it or not I have researched the policies and procedures for my midwife and hospital and talked about them at length with my care providers. Please stop insisting otherwise.

post #20 of 24

I had a nutty encounter today that's just too funny not to share:

 

I was getting out of my car in a parking lot and an older man walking by went "Whoooaahh" (like you'd say to a horse)!!!  He quickly recovered though, asked me how I was feeling and then said "Well, you look excellent ma'am".  It would have been a full save, except that's probably the first time anyone has called me "ma'am"!  He was wearing a completely white jogging suit and eating a mcdonalds ice cream, which only added to the hilarity.   

 

I'm mostly getting the "you look so small" response, which I don't take as a compliment because obviously I WANT to look pregnant.  There's no way to win!  I think from now on when someone asks me when I'm due, I'm going to pretend to be outraged and say I'm not pregnant.  That should get a more entertaining response at least. winky.gif

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