You are huge!!- Warning, Grumpy Pregnant woman - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[lightheartedmom]

Originally Posted by KM84 


The other thing I really REALLY can't handle is the number of people who insist that my birth experience will be exactly like theirs. Even if I was aiming for exactly what they had I probably wouldn't get it, and quite frankly we made a lot of decisions to at least attempt to steer most things in a different direction from most people.
I've heard lots of "as soon as you get there they'll strap you to a monitor and not let you get up until the baby is born" and "if you're lucky they'll let you suck on some ice chips, no eating in labor," and other "facts" that just aren't true for the hospital we're using.

I know they're just trying to be helpful, but at 8.5 months pregnant I just want to scream. I've spent months preparing for this. I may not know what to expect from my body, because no one really knows until it happens, but believe it or not I have researched the policies and procedures for my midwife and hospital and talked about them at length with my care providers. Please stop insisting otherwise.

I think it is so hard for people in general to avoid projecting their own experiences on to everyone around them and with birth, even more so. It's such a huge, life-altering experience and for each person it's so different. The thing is....no matter how much researching and planning you KNOW you've done, it's almost impossible to help people get where you are unless they arrive "there" by themselves. Sometimes it's easier to just say "thanks for the tip" (or yeah, I've heard some hospitals do that, so we did some research and found one that would support my choice to...XYZ - eat, drink, etc) and not even waste your breath trying to help people get that you're informed about your options for birth. Ultimately the important thing is that you and your SO know you're informed enough to advocate for yourselves...wherever you're giving birth.

[KM84]

Yeah, I definitely need to get better at just smiling and saying "thanks" rather than going into the "actually we're using a midwife..." speech. They're just trying to be helpful. But I'm just being a grouchy pregnant lady!

My mother finally got that my experience was probably going to be very very different from hers, and that our hospital policies are totally different than what she experienced in the 80s as a high-risk, barely-term delivery. I was born in the OR, even though it was a vaginal delivery. Now she's really interested in what we're expecting and excited to hear how it all goes down. She'd never heard of using a birthing ball, much less a hospital that encourages women to bring one with them.

[GretchenC]

I have gotten the full gender review too! Makes me so irritated! We have 3 beautiful little girls and would have completely considered ourselves blessed to have a 4th, but we are having a boy this time. Which is cool by me and hubby. But I have gotten so many "you have FINALLY gotten your boy!". Ummm yes. Because the first 3 were just failed attempts? Or because that means we can stop having babies? Really, how am I to take that?

Love that there are other grumpy women who get it :)

And for those of us who are shockingly huge, a theme song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uy0SrWpfFmA

[Kamiro]

omg Gretchen, you and me both! But this fourth one is also a girl and I am totally cool with that! Some of the comments have just been SO RUDE though. I think the worst was from a lady we fellowship with who said "Oh how disappointing!" and was really sympathetic like someone had just died when we announced it was a girl.

No one has learned the gender without some kind of comment about 4 girls.

Honestly IF there is another one, I will not tell any one the gender. Same with the name. I have gotten some really rude comments about the name.