un-weaning a 5 yr old???

[Aletheia]

nak-- new baby is only 5 days old, but now that my milk is in, my 5 yo wants to nurse again! he clw at 4.5 years. advice???

[PatioGardener]

A good friend of mine says that happened to her when she was ~5 and weaned. Her mom let her try and she nursed 1 or 2 more times and was done.

I guess the risk is that he may not be done after 1 or 2 more times though. Do you feel like tandem nursing?

Congrats on your new baby!

[transylvania_mom]

You can tell him he can cuddle with you whenever the new baby nurses. He can bring a special water bottle, or toy... *I* would go crazy if I had a newborn and I was also nursing my 5 y/o. But it's a personal decision.
 

[TiredX2]

How do you feel about it?

Did he wean while you are pg?  If so, he might not have been totally ready, but weaned due to the pregnancy.

I think it is really up to your personal preference.  If you allowed him to nurse, there are a number of things that could happen:

1) He could laugh when actually confronted with the option.  He might just want the knowledge he *can* but not actually want to nurse.

2) He could try to nurse, not be able to and get frustrated/angry.

3) He could try to nurse, be able to and realize (within a few times) that he's just not interested any more.

4) He could nurse, enjoy it, and continue nursing for several months and/or years.  Because of his age, it is doubtful he would go *too* long, but it is a possibility.

Some people offer to express milk in a cup and let the older child drink it.  If they have been drinking other forms of milk, they often are offput by the fact that it is warm and are no longer interested.

I really don't know what I would do in your situation.  My DD was much younger when DS was born, so tandem nursing seemed logical.  With a child that is that much older and already successfully weaned for months, though, I'm not sure what *I* would have chosen.  How do you feel about each of the possibilities?

[Aletheia]

Thanks for the responses, ladies.

I tried expressing some in a cup for him.  He mostly liked it, though said I shouldn't put it in the fridge next time because "it's hard to taste when it is too cold."  

He did not wean due to pregnancy.  My 3 year old did, though.  I'm sort of worried that if I let the 5 year old nurse, I'll have to let the 3 year old nurse if he wants to.  I tandemed them for 2.5 years, but I'm not sure I want to... tridem?  Is there even a word for that?

My 5 year old is the more sensitive, mommy-glommy child though.  I'm inclined to let him try just for that reason.  

Another component here is that my DH is really off-put by the fact that I'm even considering it.  He even made a age-based comment to DS along the lines of "aren't you too old to do that?"  Historically, he's been really spectacular in his support and understanding of my desire to pursue extended breastfeeding.  But this seems to be a bit too much for him.

So I don't know.  I put DS1 off it for a while by saying that I needed a chance to get my milk regulated and in schedule with baby, and he's fine with that.  But he is more in patient waiting mode than he is in likely-to-forget-about-it mode.  :)  So I think we'll probably end up giving it a go in a week or so (I may wait for DH to return to work.)  :)

I still appreciate input from you all-- especially if anyone has "BTDT."

[Comtessa]

Aletheia, any developments?  Curious to know how things are going for you and your DS.  I hope for your sake that you aren't finding yourself triandeming (okay, I'm not sure it's a word, but I'm fairly certain I've seen it on MDC)!

[Aletheia]

Comtessa-

I finally got to the point where I realized *I* would always feel sort of sad if I didn't give him the opportunity.  I think I would have always regretted it if I just let the request drop, or distracted him away from it.  He is a very sensitive, introspective person, and he loves his mama time.

So....

I gave him the opportunity- it went like this.  I said he could, that it was ok with me, and that he needed to decide if he still wanted to try it out, and when and where.  He got sort of edgy and nervous and basically kept asking me to tell him whether he wanted to do it or not.  It was pretty cute.  I told him he would need to think about that and get back to me-- that it was his decision and that I was/am ready any time.  He thought about it some more and said he was interested, but not when and where his 3 year old brother could see.  That caught me by surprise.  

That was the beginning of last week.  I'll probably bring it up one more time tomorrow, and if he drops it again, I'll consider it good.  The fact that he is not interested in broadcasting his decision to the 3 year old makes me even more comfortable.  We'll see how it goes!

[odinsmama]

My DS1 weaned when I was preg with DS2 and DS1 was only 2y4m or so.  I was pretty upset (not toward him) but he insisted he didn't want to nurse any more.

Anyway, baby came and DS1 asked if he could nurse and I said sure, if you want to.  He cuddled up a couple of times but never really latched on and then seemed kind of embarrassed or something.  He's also my mama's boy and I felt like he just needed to know that he could nurse if he wanted to, that he was just as special as the new baby.  Now we're talking about ttc baby #3 and both boys, who both self-weaned, occasionally talk about how I'll have milk again if I have another baby and they'll be able to nurse if they want to.  :)  Um, we'll see.