Yes OP, I had a similar experience. I joined a group of crunchy mamas when my ds was 4. We'd already tried pre-k and decided to homeschool. Many of the people in the group were talking homeschool so I was excited to be making friends with people who had nice kids my son's age. Then the next year rolled around and they all started school... It was very disappointing.
- topicHomeschoolingtagged by System, 4/22/12
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Anyone have "wannabe homeschool mom" friends? - Page 2post #21 of 317/9/13 at 7:48ampost #22 of 317/11/13 at 11:10am
I almost was one. When K registration came around, I really started to get cold feet. If I hadn't already been actively involved in a local homeschooling group, I'm sure we would have enrolled him Technically we did - we ended up doing a public school independent study program for a few years. But it was still definitely homeschooling in spirit - I decided the curriculum and so on. DS was heartbroken at the idea of not going to school... but also heartbroken at the idea of not seeing his "park friends" (the local homeschool group), so we split the difference as well as we could.
Several other people I knew in the group ended up putting their kids in K when the time came, though many ended up pulling them and homeschooling later. It's not a one-time decision - your friends may come back to homeschooling if they find that PS isn't solving whatever issue drove them to enroll.post #23 of 317/11/13 at 2:15pm
I guess I'm a wanna be. We sent my daughter to kindy about 4 months into the school year. We had just moved, and I had just had multiple late first trimester/early second trimester miscarriages that year and so I struggled with depression. I think we'll homeschool for first grade, though, though I have some reservations.post #24 of 317/14/13 at 11:28am
I kinda was that mom. :)
I was homeschooled, and we never planned to send ours to school-school. I was adamant about it, and loud sometimes. My sister was as well. We'd talk all the time about how we were going to school the kids together.
And then a charter school opened in our city, and we went for the informational meeting and decided that maybe that would be a good fit for us. The school made a lot of promises - small class sized, a focus on maths, science and technology, computer education classes for even Kindys... it sounded great!
So we enrolled our oldest, he passed the interview and we were on our way.
It wasn't until my oldest was in 2nd grade that we pulled them out.
Now, we've been homeschooling for 4 years. I'm still vocal about it, but my experiences then and now, and with my homeschooling friends has brought a variety of circumstance and reasons to their situations and I have lightened up a lot. Ideals are easy to have... but not always easy to implement. :) Things change, people change, situations change, kids change... My niece is still in the same charter school we were originally in, and she's thriving there. I'm happy for her and support my sister's decisions and she supports mine. I have friends who aren't homeschooling; some of whom with to or plan to in the future, and friends who are homeschooling who can't wait for it to be over (but needs must...). I try to keep in mind the idiom 'your mileage may vary'.
In any case happy homeschooling to you! :)
post #25 of 317/19/13 at 3:24pmI am now dealing with this! My closest friend has always planned on unschooling...it worked out so well because our kids are the same ages and I knew, at least, I'd have them.....but now she's talking about looking at schools because she doesn't think she can handle it. I am so completely bummed about it....not only because I want to have friends into home ed...but I want my kids to have friends who are actually HOME to play with.
And then there are all the people to say they want to homeschool or that they are unschooling....and yeah, they're not going to.post #26 of 317/20/13 at 6:01am
I am "that" mom too.
I know I have annoyed most of my hs/unschool friends--more than once I have decided to hs and by mid-Aug, ended up putting my kids in school. It it singularly the hardest decision that I cannot make...I am so, so, so torn by school vs homeschool.
I LOVED school growing up. I am totally raising my kids differently than I was raised--for the better--but my home life was not my world, school was. I was raised in a big family and very outgoing and social--being part of a community (whether it be school, sports, the neighborhood, whatever) is extremely important to me. I like having long-term friends and shared experiences. One of my closest friends and I went to school 1st grade through 12th together; we still see or talk to eachother weekly. I still regularly meet for dinner-dates with a few of my grammar school friends. I still run or walk with and hang out with a group of my girlfriends from high school. School to me was WAY more than just academics. It was like I said my community and which as you can tell it still is to this day. To top it all off, DH is a high school public school teacher!
However, when my oldest was barely 2 I joined an AP group. Being an attachment parent opened my eyes to a new world--that of learning at home. At first I was not in any way interested in homeschooling, but after listening to conversations among the group members--many of which I still keep in touch with and see periodically--led down a path of reading, researching, etc about the negatives of a brick and mortar school, including how it began in the first place.
When my kids are in school, I am constantly criticizing it (mentally to myself or verbally to dh, not to the kids), and we have gone from public to private b/c I am just so frustrated by standardization, academic pushing, teaching to the test, etc etc. My library account would show that I get out a book on education, homeschooling, unschooling, etc on a very regular basis. I am anti-homework. I do honestly believe (as I've read about) that school was created from the Prussian model not in any way to make us smarter people or unlock our potential, but to standardize citizens and that America was actually more literate and smarter (for various reasons other than school) BEFORE forced schooling became the law. DH thinks I just need to get it over with, hs for just one year, and see how it goes. He thinks I'll regret never trying it.
So, once again, I am planning to hs in the fall. This time I actually pulled them out of their private school. As an adult and parent I have made so.many.other decisions with confidence but this one I rethink every.single.minute. In addition to a host of other things, I worry most that they will lose friends and a community at large; that I am totally confusing them by always rethinking their educational paths; that I may actually suck at being their teacher. And that I have some kind of personality defect that is preventing me from making a singular decision about education and STICKING with it.
Sorry for this totally long-winded email that I'm sure is completely misplaced in this thread, but I guess really needed to vent!!!!!!!!
Edited by aim4balance - 7/20/13 at 6:18ampost #27 of 319/27/13 at 6:59ampost #28 of 319/28/13 at 12:24amQuote:
I think yeah and no
My instinct is to agree with you. I don't see how anything done with a kid this young can really be called homeschooling. Surely its living?
But times have changed rather. Round me, most kids actually start school, in many cases full time, at 3. By 4, 99% of kids are full time in school. That means that a parent who doesn't do this is, I think, justified in identifying as a homeschooler and entitled to support from the community. Actually I think those early years with a kid who feels too young to be doing much with, but who is not actually in school, can feel like a sort of limbo. They are having a great time playing but no other kid is. Also, its hard to meet friends because everyone else is in school.
I'm pretty personally opposed to the idea that schoolwork should be happening with a 3-4 year old. And it seems totally redundant to call yourselves unschoolers if your kids are so young. My instinct is that they are doing what little kids have done for millenia. But I think there are good, practical reasons for the label and I understand them.
I'm not a fan of formal learning pre 7 anyway, so for me, to say you are unschooling a kid before that age always feels redundant anyway. But I think we probably often use the labels we use for practical reasons more than philosophical ones, to work out where we are best able to get information, etc.post #29 of 319/28/13 at 1:32am
That's interesting to hear about your friends. I agree with some of the other posters above who said that such choices are never static, people can change their minds all the time. It could be that later on in life your friends might decided to homeschool after all so don't worry it's possible your child will have your friends' kids for company when they're older . As for me, when I decided to homeschool it was because I already had friends who were committed into doing it, both in the US and abroad (I'm currently living overseas). So I pretty much fell into homeschooling thanks to having friends that were experienced in it already.post #30 of 319/28/13 at 9:20ampost #31 of 319/29/13 at 5:07pmQuote:
These days people start their kid in preschool at 3 or 4. NOT sending your kids is viewed as strange and saying "we're homeschoolers" is kinda the only way to get people off your back about it. We're unschoolers, always have been....but I know a lot of people didn't see it as "official" til DD turned 5.
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