its time to night wean...

[tdot mama]

Hi.. I just need to know that what I am about to embark on will not cause any emotional scarring to me 17mnth old ds.  We have co-slept and night nursed since day 1.. and although we have had our rough nights (many rough nights...) I was somehow still able to pull myself together during the day.  But now, i think its catching up with me....I am physically and mentally exhausted.. and I find myself loosing my temper at night especially when he is scratching my or pulling my hair to get me to turn over!

DS, is not really a HN toddler - but he is very demanding of me... so maybe he is borderline.  he insists on nursing every 15 mins or so and if he in not nursing then his hand is down my shirt... (I have tired to redirect this behaviour but its not working...)  and this in itself is driving me nuts.  my back hurts cause he is not little anymore but he insists that I carry him everywhere. but if I put him down then 9/10 times he will cry.  my goodness - at this rate i am seriously questioning having another babe :( 

I love our nursing relationship (he never took a bottle and still won't drink any kind of milk other than mine...) but its time for me to draw the line on our night nursing fiasco... 12am, 2am, 4am, 5am, 6am....  its a wonder I can even type this. 

I have read Dr Jay but I'm thinking cold turkey might be better. "bobo" will go night-night from 9pm (his bead time) to 6am. 

Does anyone think that I should wait it out longer?  He will no doubt cry and be angry during it - I will comfort him but he will probably resist it...  Will this be messing with his emotional development?  This is going to sound so bad... but I actually look forward to going to work because its so much easier... is this what having a babe is suppose to be about?  Or did I create a HN mamma-demanding munster?? 

thanks mamas...

[maputna]

At 17 mo, night weaning will NOT scar DS, he will be angry and unhappy but will probably adjust. Hang in there! Everything is a phase and it will pass. Just try any night weaning method and go from there, you will see how DS reacts...

I have a 28 month-old boy that I just completely weaned and for the first time, he slept through the night in his toddler bed (next to our bed but that is such an improvement from co-sleeping with a constant nurser). We tried night weaning from 15 to 18 mo then again when he was 2. Each time it was different and we saw an evolution. At 2, DS finally let DH put him to sleep... So there is hope!

I work too and when DS was younger, my days at work were definitely more relaxing! lol

[gitanamama]

Right there with you mama! My little guy is 23 months old and we just decided, after another rough night, that it's time to bite the bullet and night wean. We've tried a couple times over the past few months but my son has a very strong personality and put up an incredible fight. He's also a pretty high-needs, demanding kiddo, and I'm feeling totally run down from not sleeping more than an hour or two at a time.... in two years! 

I often wonder whether I too created a "HN mamma-demanding monster" (I love that!) but I think it really has to do more with who my son is than anything. I know of other mamas who've co-slept and nursed on demand whose kiddos didn't wake up nearly as much as my son, and who had a much easier time with the weaning transition. 

I'm dreading the next few nights (and praying that it won't take longer than that!) but I really feel like it's time to make this transition...and I don't want to be writing this same post a year from now. It's time for some sleep around here!

[sunwise]

Hi there! I could have written so much of your post for myself...I've been pulling myself together after a rough night's sleep for over a year now, and I don't know how I lasted this long! It is definitely starting to catch up with me too....it's getting harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning, but it's not as if I have the luxury of sleeping in since I WOH full-time.

DS is 20 months old, and his sleep hasn't improved a bit on its own. He occasionally has a good night where he only wakes up maybe 2 times, but weeks (or months) can pass in between the good nights. Sometimes, when he is asking me to nurse AGAIN after he just finished nursing, I try to talk him into letting me sleep. Sometimes that even works and he goes back to sleep on his own! That gives me hope that he can handle the nightweaning, even if he won't like it.

We are going to use the Dr. Jay method, even though it is really only partial nightweaning. If I can ever get 7 hours straight of sleep out of him regularly, I will be happy. I've been preparing him for the upcoming change for the past few months by telling him a little story about how Max, mommy, and the nanos (his word for nursing) are going to start sleeping all night until the sun comes up. (I got his idea from another thread on MDC where someone said she had made a book for her toddler to help him understand the nightweaning.) I hope this has helped. We are starting this Friday.

[gitanamama]

Just wanted to update and hopefully give some hope to other mamas embarking on the night weaning adventure.

We've gone four nights now without nursing! (they have been pretty rough nights though.) I decided just to cut out the night nursing cold turkey, although we had been putting more boundaries on nursing during the day, so it wasn't a total shock to my DS. The first night was by far the worst--my little guy woke up 6 times and he was furious each time. He kicked, hit, threw himself around on the bed, and just generally let me know how pissed he was. I gave his some water, we read his favorite story, and eventually he calmed down and fell asleep. Things have improved little by little each night--last night he only woke up three times, and he only threw a tantrum one of those times.

There is hope mamas! But I think a lot depends on readiness, and I think each child is different. We tried this same thing a couple months ago and it was a complete failure. My son was inconsolable for nearly an hour, crying hysterically despite our efforts to comfort him, and we finally gave in after he threw up all over the bed. In comparison, this time around he's been upset, but really more angry than anything. I don't think there's a magical age--each kiddo is probably different when it comes to being ready to wean/night wean. But if it doesn't work for you now, I'd say try it again in a couple months.

Best of luck getting some sleep!

[tdot mama]

I start of most of my posts like this... and I'm going to do it again.  I love this forum.  the support, the communication the knowledge sharing with like minded families - means so much when nothing else seems to be going as "planned".  If I were to even bring up topic with my other mom friends - they would look at me cross eyed.. and I think my paediatricians head would spin, lol. 

I have an update!  So the night I wrote the post, I was determined to make a change.  Especially since it was taking such a tole on me and my parenting ( cause its hard to love a kiss a baby thats kinda making your life miserable...)   This is how the first night went down:

- we did our lack-of-a-routine night time routine ;)  when it was time for bed, me and DS went to bed, I nursed him to settle him down and then I plucked my nipple from his mouth (he's used to this cause I've been doing the pantley pull off since he was about 6 mnths old) and then I hummed and rubbed his back while he fussed a complained a bit and then fell asleep.  Yes his face was planted in my neck and my other arm was holding the blanket over my chest like a chastity belt for my boobs...  but after a little bit of resistance he finally fell asleep.  I was ecstatic!  He woke up a few times, I tried to give him water but he wasn't interested so instead I did my best to sooth him back to sleep without nursing

- the nights since then have gotten better and then worse and now i think we are getting better again... his thing now is that he literally flops around like a fish after I take my nipple away for a good 10 minutes looking for his "sweet spot" to fall asleep in.  Most times he pretty much wakes himself up (by all of the shenanigans ) and starts playing and banging on the walls.  But, I let him do this to burn off his energy and then he cuddles into me a falls asleep (on an ideal night - sometimes he ends up harassing and biting me and I have to call DH to take him away cause I can feel my frustration rising..).  Although the initial falling asleep is lengthy - he then only wakes up like once a night!  (at 3, but then I pat his bum or rub his back and he falls back asleep). Honestly, its been great and I'm going to keep at it.  I guess this is what parenting is all about... 

Wish me luck!!!