Co-sleeping with a toddler and a newborn? Tips?

[alicewyf]

My daughter will be 3 in July and still sleeps with us part time. She starts the night (7pmish) in her bed and climbs into bed with us in the middle of the night--usually around 3am. We wake up for the day between 7 and 8am.

She has a lot of sleep anxiety and I think her current sleep pattern is actually really impressive for her. When she was first born, she couldn't sleep without being held, so to me she has made huge strides in her sleep abilities. Mom and Dad have loved the alone time after she goes to sleep at night.

I also have a lot of empathy for her because I struggled SO hard with sleep anxiety as a child, and my parents did not understand or attempt to understand. I got in trouble for climbing into bed with my younger brother so, so often. I just didn't want to sleep alone. I didn't get over this until maybe age 10, and continued to suffer from insomnia for years. Only having kids has made me tired enough to sleep pretty well most nights! I thank God every day that she was born with me as her mother, because I know how hard it is to grow up with people thinking something is seriously wrong with you, and punishing you for having sleep problems.

I don't want to cut her off from our bed, but I'm worried about safety issues with a baby and a toddler in bed together. At least half of the time we don't wake up for DD to crawl into bed with us, we just wake up in the morning, and there she is, snuggled up! I do have an arms-reach cosleeper, and I do hope that this baby will be okay with a semi-separate sleeping space, but if he isn't, what do I do to protect him from DD in the family bed?

[TiredX2]

DD was 2.5 when DS was born and they were both in bed with us full time.  When DS was small, we just made sure there was always an adult between them while in bed.  That usually meant it went DD, Me, DS, DP though that could change (DS, Me, DD, DP or Me, DS, DP, DD).  There was never a problem.  When DS was larger/stronger (toddler aged himself) I wasn't as worried about them sleeping next to each other for safety reasons but because they would wake each other up.

Good luck!

[Bbctchr]

Just like tiredx2, our DS was 2.5 yrs when our little girl came along.  My DH had built a co-sleeper/extension on our bed for the newest but we use it for our son instead.  Its his own bed in our bed, complete with cool sheets and his teddies!  It was perfect for when DD came and has worked really well since.  We also have a bed rail (for toddler beds) on the other side of the bed so that sometimes, DH and I get to cuddle in the middle - this is bliss.  We haven't had too many issues yet (DD is 7 mths) except for a little too much love from DS for his lil sis.
 

[To-Fu]

Why not just talk to your big kid about where it's okay to get into the bed at night?  Make sure there's always an adult between her and the baby, and you should be fine.  

I can recommend some great squishy bed bumpers for the outside edges, if falling off is a concern. :)

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

OMG, I literally just wrote this EXACT thread like 15 minutes ago. Going to think about the responses!

[babybluebirds]

Hi! We have a 15 week old and a 5 year old and this is what we do.

We took the side of the crib and that is right up against the side of the bed. Our new little one starts the night off in the crib and eventually ends up sleeping with me.

Our five year old has always slept with us. He sleeps at the tail end of the bed with dh while l sleep at the top of the bed. Hope that makes sense! That way, l am the only one sleeping next to the new baby to keep it as safe as possible.

So far this has worked out great!!

Best of luck!

x