So, we go to a teaching hospital so sometimes you get a resident who practices on you.
Today my ultrasound took 2 hours because of the resident who was learning. Then later the real tech came in and, in a matter of minutes, took the rest of the pics and we were done. She was inexperienced enough that the other tech had to tell her that because she was right handed, she should have moved the room around to accommodate it – and not try to do the thing with her left hand for an hour!!
I am pissed and cranky for two reasons:
#1 I don't think that prolonged or repeated ultrasounds are healthy. I agree to the 20 week to alleviate my own fears about the unknowable.
#2 We spent the first hour talking with this women and telling her that we wanted the sex to be a surprise. DH and I played at guessing for a bit and then as time went on she used a gendered pro-noun two separate times near the end and we KNEW she knew....
I even repeated her with a “he/she huh?” and she said nothing. So yeah, DH and I didn’t really want to confirm – and the hospitals policy is not to tell anyone so it bugs us that even then, after we told her we didn’t want to know – we do. We sat through the next 45 mins in silence, pissed at her, but not wanting to confirm it further.
So – healthy baby and all is great. I feel totally stupid about being even mildly cranky about this. But we are both SO BUMMED about losing our surprise. It’s probably made worse by the fact that we were hoping for the opposite sex... and the reason we didn’t want to know is that we knew we could never feel disappointed when handed a real live baby... but a hypothetical not yet here baby? We kinda do and we didn’t want to feel this disappointment, not even just for this one day. I know tomorrow we will accept it all and move on and tonight we will think about all the good things and find a good name and stuff.
We have decided to keep it ENTIRELY to ourselves and not tell anyone even my BFF (and that will be hard). Hard to pretend we don’t know.