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Mothering › Groups › September 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Healthy baby - but a crappy ultrasound!

Healthy baby - but a crappy ultrasound!

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

 

So, we go to a teaching hospital so sometimes you get a resident who practices on you.

 

Today my ultrasound took 2 hours because of the resident who was learning.  Then later the real tech came in and, in a matter of minutes, took the rest of the pics and we were done.  She was inexperienced  enough that the other tech had to tell her that because she was right handed, she should have moved the room around to accommodate it – and not try to do the thing with her left hand for an hour!! 

 

I am pissed and cranky for two reasons:

 

#1 I don't think that prolonged or repeated ultrasounds are healthy. I agree to the 20 week to alleviate my own fears about the unknowable.

 

#2 We spent the first hour talking with this women and telling her that we wanted the sex to be a surprise.  DH and I played at guessing for a bit and then as time went on she used a gendered pro-noun two separate times near the end and we KNEW she knew....

I even repeated her with a “he/she huh?” and she said nothing.  So yeah, DH and I didn’t really want to confirm – and the hospitals policy is not to tell anyone so it bugs us that even then, after we told her we didn’t want to know – we do.  We sat through the next 45 mins in silence, pissed at her, but not wanting to confirm it further.

So – healthy baby and all is great.  I feel totally stupid about being even mildly cranky about this.  But we are both SO BUMMED about losing our surprise.  It’s probably made worse by the fact that we were hoping for the opposite sex... and the reason we didn’t want to know is that we knew we could never feel disappointed when handed a real live baby... but a hypothetical not yet here baby?  We kinda do and we didn’t want to feel this disappointment, not even just for this one day.  I know tomorrow we will accept it all and move on and tonight we will think about all the good things and find a good name and stuff.

We have decided to keep it ENTIRELY to ourselves and not tell anyone even my BFF (and that will be hard).  Hard to pretend we don’t know.

 

post #2 of 9

Sorry that it was such a bummer.   But maybe she was wrong, since she did such a lousy job anyway...perhaps you're still in for a surprise!  :)

post #3 of 9

Wow, that is a LONG ultrasound.  Even my morphology ultrasounds with twins were less than an hour.  Our hospital also has a lot of students and residents, and while I am all for giving people the opportunity to learn, I have my limits (especially with a full bladder!).

 

I can't believe she ruined your surprise!  I would be so disappointed, and pissed.  We have our ultrasound on Wednesday and also don't want to find out the sexes so I really really hope they don't mess it up.

post #4 of 9
Yes! There is still room for surprises- At 20 weeks, it can still be a mistake either way! As it is, though, if you really think she was right (or are assuming so), think about whether the stress of keeping it a secret is worth the benefit. I'm glad s/he's healthy, too. I hope everything goes better from here.
post #5 of 9

I'm so sorry!  I'd be hurt and sad and pissed also.  And you have every right to be.  Enough so that I'd complain about it.  If she's learning, fine, but the u/s shouldn't take 2 hours and and then maybe it should be supervised training at this point.  And the surprise thing - well - that's just WRONG.  But, they can definitely be wrong.  And if she's that inexperienced, she could very well be wrong also. Sorry that you had to go through that though.  

 

post #6 of 9

Congratulations on your healthy baby! Your ultrasound experience sounds absolutely craptastic :(. Hope you and your sweetheart can get all excited over the good pictures the experienced technician took.

post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 

We are still totally pretending it's a surprise to us.  

We always find that our friends and family get much more excited to find out a baby has been born when sex and name are a surprise so we are definitely keeping it a secret - even from our closest friends because that sort of thing doesn't stay quiet for long!

You know, it might be nice to have a secret between just me and my hubby.  It might sound weird but I don't think there has ever been anything that we shared in that way.

I think we may just confirm with the midwife on Monday - DH said he felt it would be best to just really know now that we feel we mostly know ;)


But yeah.  If anyone else wants a total surprise - my advice is not to chat, and to ask the technician not to explain anything either.  Once they get talking it's automatic and once they know, they might just slip up.  

 

 

post #8 of 9
We had our ultrasound tech slip twice with DD2. She tried to cover it, which just made it more obvious. "Look, there is her, I ahhh, or his..." We just pretended we hadn't heard it and went ahead like we didn't know. We told everyone we didn't know, and really by about 35 weeks I had convinced myself maybe she didn't *mean* it, or I misheard. We treated DD's birth like a surprise, and it didn't feel forced or anything. It was disappointing, but in the end, still different than "knowing" like we did with DD/DS.

I'm sorry it took so long and you found out though!
post #9 of 9

So sorry that happened :(

 

With DD2 the tech wanted my DH to stay outside until she got the measuring done, then she'd let him in and show us whether or not baby was a boy or a girl.  Yet while it was just me in the room, she kept saying "she... I mean baby", "she, well uh, the baby" and going on and on about how two girls would be nice for us irked.gif .  So I already knew before DH got in the room.  Frustrating.

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