Am I expecting too much at my daughter's school?

[bakpak]

My daughter's 2.7 yr old and has been a a home-based montessori school for 3 months now.  She's very advanced verbally & intellectually and probably average physically.  She often acts like a much older child. She's never excited about the school or teacher and I feel the same way (yes, this probably says it all).  My main concerns relate to what she's learning at school.

My dd has been working on language skills a long time (she read her first sentence by herself this week!), and is a sponge with anything I teach her, which is normal for this age.  As far as I can tell (her teacher is extremely closed-mouthed) she does almost NO language, math, or geography at school.  They have no themes.  They do virtually no crafts (in 3 months she painted once and glued cotton balls on a blue piece of paper once).  I'm happy that she's getting lots of sensory and practical life experience, but I'm really disappointed that she's not doing any of the other stuff.  Maybe she's deemed too young for any of this advanced work?  I can't imagine as she eats it up at home.  I'm just frustrated as I feel I have to supplement SO much at home, and it seems a bit excessive. They look at one sandpaper letter a week during circle time (my daughter's known all her sounds for ages). She's at this school roughly 40 hours a week.  I'm not pushing things on her at home, I make an effort to make things available to her and/or I present things to see if she's interested.  She eats up anything I show her, really. 

I wanted to know if other Montessori teachers would be limiting her exposure to mostly practical life and sensorial work like this as well, given her age.  My daughter was there a full month before they finally showed her knobless cylinders and they've never mentioned showing her anything else like that since. 

My daughter started 48-piece puzzles this week - how cool is that?  She's a bright cookie and I just want to make sure my expectations aren't out of line before I try to talk to the teacher (again). 

Why are we at this school?  It's close, convenient, and is the only one in the area in my budget. 

Thanks!

B

[linn7799]

Hi!

I'm sorry to hear that you and your daughter aren't happy with her preschool. It's particulary discouraging that the channels of communication between you and her teacher aren't better - as that really seems key in making the preschool a better fit for your daughter.

My son is 3yrs 3mths and started at a Montessori preschool last August. He also has some advanced skills for his age (sounds out words, does simple mental addition/subtraction, can compare 2 digit numbers, etc.) so maybe sharing a little of our experience might be helpful...

One of the major reasons we chose Montessori was that we saw it very much as "individualized education" in which our son would be allowed to set his own pace. We wanted a preschool where my son could explore his early academic interests very much on his own terms. We didn't want him to be pushed into the academics or moved forward at any particular pace and we also didn't want anyone to make a big deal about him being "smart". Our son being freely able to choose activities was really important to us.

The preschool has really lived up to our expectations in this area - they see his potential, he chooses his own activities, works on them at his own pace and seems to have a really good balance. One day, they'll report that DS was making pasta and grating carrots - the next day, he might spend all morning doing reading activities. Each time, I feel like it's his choice. I do admit that we're really lucky that the teachers at my son's preschool don't have rigid ideas about certain activites only being suitable for certain ages. DS is also very much drawn to things that he sees the older children doing - his teachers say that he will often watch intently but unobtrusively and then ask for a demonstration when the other child is finished with the material. He usually catches on quite quickly having already seen the older child at work.

Anyway, coming back to your situation... My concern would be how much choice she is actually being given? How much freedom does she have to explore different areas of the classroom? To observe the older children at work? Also, how talkative is your daughter? I think we have an advantage with our son because he is very verbal about his interests, talks about letters and numbers incessantly, so it would seem to me that  a teacher would need to be willfully ignoring him not to pick up on advanced skills in these areas. Though we're also very fortunate that his teachers have made a big effort to get to know him.

Presenting one sandpaper letter a week to the group sounds rather strange to me - how big is the group? Surely there are older children in the group who are also familiar with their letter sounds? The no-crafts also sounds odd - my son's preschool has several crafts, including painting, which are always available... Though maybe being a home-based prsechool, this is an issue of limited resources/choosing to focus elsewhere? My son's preschool doesn't have themes and I would not expect them too - though they do have a nature table and talk about various topics at (optional) circle time.

I hope some of this has been of help to you. Best of luck in improving your daughter's preschool experience.

Cheers, Caitlinn
 

Edited by linn7799 - 4/24/12 at 1:21pm

[bakpak]

Thanks for your response Caitlinn.  To answer some of your questions, my daughter's the oldest and most advanced of the 5 children at the school right now, not counting the teacher's 8 yr old who they're homeschooling.  I've figured my daughter's mostly missing out on the older children interactions that happens in other schools.  The school's in 2 rooms of the teacher's home and one room is practical life/sensorial and the other room is 'for older kids' (i.e. geography, math, language) and all they do in there is eat lunch & snacks at the bigger table.  So yes, I think it's all about access.  I've brought it up before and the teacher just says they spend most of their day in the PL/S room as those things are most appropriate for the other children.  My daughter says she never does anything from the other room.  This mostly makes me feel the teacher's being lazy quite frankly and not bothering to encourage my child in her interests outside the one room.  I've been very clear what types of things she's interested in and does at home, but the teacher largely seems uninterested.

Yes, my daughter is highly verbal, but it's not her personality to ask to do something that seems 'off-limits'.  The teacher frequently comments on how talkative my daughter is at school, and that when she's not talking she's singing.  She usually says this as if it's negative.  My daughter loves languages (asks to do Spanish and French with me all the time) and reading and makes up lyrics to songs all the time.  The teacher couldn't possibly miss these 'clues'..

I know she would do better in another school with another teacher, I'm just frustrated that I'm actually living in a big city where there are resources finally, but I can't afford the nicer ones or they're too far away to be practical. 

Thanks...I think I should just have another chat with the teacher and explain my reservations again.  I've tried to be patient and don't want to be an obnoxious parent making unreasonable demands, but I sure would feel better if I knew she's getting a little instruction.

We'll be moving back to the boonies in a few months, so changing schools is mostly a moot point.  But while I'm here I think questioning whether my child is being stimulated enough is fair. 

B

[linn7799]

Hi again and thanks for answering my questions. I think I have a better understanding of your situation now.

It sounds like there are several limitations inherent in the way this particular preschool is set up - in particular, the small group and lack of older kids. As I said, my son gets a lot of exposure to language/math materials by watching the older kids at work... As your daughter doesn't have that, she is very much dependent on the teacher taking the initiative to present the interesting/more advanced work. So I can understand in your case that you'd want to communicate with the teacher a lot more specifically about your daughter's interests and suggest materials you think she'd enjoy. We have a situation where we can be fairly hands-off in this respect - knowing that DS has plenty of opportunties to seek out appropriate materials in a largely self-directed way.

I agree that it's very discouraging that the teacher doesn't seem to have picked up on your daughter's intense interest in language. Even if you and your daughter's teacher have different opinions on whether advanced work is appropriate at this stage - the teacher *still* should be making a genuine effort to get to know your daughter, hone in on her interests and find work that is appealing to her. If she's feeling bored and understimulated, I see that very much as the teacher's responsibility to get to know your daughter better and find activities that appeal (by extensive trial and error if need be).

Anyway, good luck talking with the teacher. I hope you are able to find some common ground and understanding that results in an improved situation for your daughter.

Cheers, Caitlinn