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Hilariously Glamorous Pregnancy Stories - Page 2

post #21 of 40

I'm glad this thread is here!  Here is my story, involving only vomit:

 

DS and I flew to NY (from AZ) to visit my sister and I was pretty much sick the whole time we were there, with it all peaking the night before we were to head back home....so I was already dreading our flights.  On the first plane (a puddle jumper) DS and I both threw up during landing, but luckily it all made it in to those handy barf bags and the plane was still running with everyone in their seats so our only spectators were across the aisle (they handed us gum, aww).  On the second flight, I was VERY relieved to make it through landing without vomiting, but I knew I would need to make a beeline to the bathroom as soon as we were off the plane.  We were sitting in the back and DS had fallen asleep so I waited for most everyone to get off before waking him.  Of course he immediately starts complaining about an upset tummy.  There was only one barf bag in our seat pockets and DS wouldn't move from the aisle right next to our seat.  He ends up vomiting all over the floor before I'm able to open the bag and hold it for him, and even when I was holding the bag he was still missing it because I was trying not to look (I am on the verge of throwing up, myself). There was one flight attendant near us, but all she did was kind of screech "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, uh...try to get it IN the bag!"  I'm standing there with one hand over my mouth and the other trying to hold his bag, telling her that I'm pregnant and we need another bag. The second bag doesn't make it in time and I end up throwing up in my hand, and then on the floor.  Not my proudest moment, but I guess it makes a good story now.

post #22 of 40

Love this thread!  I have a yucky one too, but it's actually about my last pregnancy, with DD2.  I was terribly constipated from the moment I peed on the stick until 6 weeks postpartum, it was awful.  Anyhoo, sometime around week 8, I woke up and had a big glass of orange juice.  I then had to use the bathroom, which was great news, so I went in to do my business.  I don't know if I had been so backed up that I had just forgotten the smell, but when I stood up and flushed, the smell of my own poo wafted up and made me puke up the oj right back into the toilet.  Awesome.

post #23 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bugglette View Post

I'm glad this thread is here!  Here is my story, involving only vomit:

DS and I flew to NY (from AZ) to visit my sister and I was pretty much sick the whole time we were there, with it all peaking the night before we were to head back home....so I was already dreading our flights.  On the first plane (a puddle jumper) DS and I both threw up during landing, but luckily it all made it in to those handy barf bags and the plane was still running with everyone in their seats so our only spectators were across the aisle (they handed us gum, aww).  On the second flight, I was VERY relieved to make it through landing without vomiting, but I knew I would need to make a beeline to the bathroom as soon as we were off the plane.  We were sitting in the back and DS had fallen asleep so I waited for most everyone to get off before waking him.  Of course he immediately starts complaining about an upset tummy.  There was only one barf bag in our seat pockets and DS wouldn't move from the aisle right next to our seat.  He ends up vomiting all over the floor before I'm able to open the bag and hold it for him, and even when I was holding the bag he was still missing it because I was trying not to look (I am on the verge of throwing up, myself). There was one flight attendant near us, but all she did was kind of screech "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, uh...try to get it IN the bag!"  I'm standing there with one hand over my mouth and the other trying to hold his bag, telling her that I'm pregnant and we need another bag. The second bag doesn't make it in time and I end up throwing up in my hand, and then on the floor.  Not my proudest moment, but I guess it makes a good story now.

Oh holy moly mumma, that sounds horrible!
I want to smack that flight attendant for being so unhelpful!
post #24 of 40

I have a new one. Groan! Its not so much in the gross sector as the humiliating sector!

I spent today in bed, with a bucket and a book. DH went out to work and was coming come soon.

At one point I heard what I thought to be the neighbour start up the lawn mower, and it was really loud. Just as I sat up to get all angry (lack of sleep!) I started vomiting....... At the same time my landlord appeared at my open window... He was mowing our lawns. And there I was in bed, hair a complete mess, house a complete mess, vomiting into a bucket in bed......

I ran and squealed, called DH, and heard the lawn mower turn off and he left....

 

blush.gif 

post #25 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelmumma View Post

I have a new one. Groan! Its not so much in the gross sector as the humiliating sector!

I spent today in bed, with a bucket and a book. DH went out to work and was coming come soon.

At one point I heard what I thought to be the neighbour start up the lawn mower, and it was really loud. Just as I sat up to get all angry (lack of sleep!) I started vomiting....... At the same time my landlord appeared at my open window... He was mowing our lawns. And there I was in bed, hair a complete mess, house a complete mess, vomiting into a bucket in bed......

I ran and squealed, called DH, and heard the lawn mower turn off and he left....

 

blush.gif 

ROTFLMAO.gifOh my goodness, that is the funniest one yet. At least you're moving soon, right?

post #26 of 40

haha glad you think its funny!!!

Yeah we start to move next week! We have about a 2 weeks cross over period where we have both houses, so hoping stress will be minimal!!

post #27 of 40

Bump.....

 

Plus I have one more gross one to add to the list :( lol

I was feeling really great the other morning so I had a HUGE bowl of oats with a hell of a lot of milk..... I was all fine and dandy until I went and bent over to lift a box a few mins later... It seems that the upside down motion didn't sit well with me lol!!

I raced past the bathroom (didn't even think of it at the time) and tried to run into the kitchen, only to be blocked by DH who was holding about 3 heavy boxes.

I started vomiting so put a hand over my mouth while DH moved to let me through ( have never run so fast!)

 

...... I didn't make it to the kitchen sink... Long story short, DH had to mop the kitchen floor, wipe down ALLL of the kitchen cupboards, the fridge, the microwave, the sink and everything in it... and the worst part is that all the drawers were open.... We had to wash all the knives and forks, wooden spoons etc... three huge drawers full! I should be in the exorcist!!

 

Hang on I told a lie, the drawers weren't the worst part... While DH was cleaning the kitchen I went and had a shower (I had to throw out a sweater and my slippers) and DH shouted out "Just sending something into you, can you wash it for me, it won't fit in the kitchen sink"... I was thinking it was going to be a bid dish or something.... He sent in the DOG.... Who was also covered in vomit!! (Man that stuff dries fast and hard in fur!!!!)

 

LOL

post #28 of 40

Oh gosh Travelmumma - I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but reading your story made me laugh so hard. So sorry you still have these bumps!

post #29 of 40

Travelmumma, if you send me your address, I will send you a crown because you are the queen of hilariously glamorous pregnancy stories!

post #30 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackies View Post

Travelmumma, if you send me your address, I will send you a crown because you are the queen of hilariously glamorous pregnancy stories!

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! please do!!!!!

If you send it to "Gross Travelmumm and her vomit covered dog" in Australia I am sure it will find its way to me!

When this babe grows up I am going to make it wet itself with these stories!!!

post #31 of 40

.....


Edited by nhklh - 11/13/13 at 8:19pm
post #32 of 40

These stories are making me giggle my head off! Sorry to laugh at everyone's misery, though. I agree, travelmuma, you should get some sort of crown or medal. ;)

 

I've been lucky this time around to be on some excellent medication and better able to manage my nausea through my diet, but in my last pregnancy I gave myself several black eyes just from the force of my vomiting. Walking around with my husband I felt like I should have been carrying a sign that said "He doesn't hit me. Honestly."

post #33 of 40
Ok. New one.
This just happened.... So gross greensad.gif
I just got into the bath tub to try and relieve a stress headache, it was so nice and relaxing when all of a sudden I "didn't feel right" but I could put my finger on it.

Then
I threw up.
In the tub.
And it floated around me.
All of my Mexican that I had for lunch.
DH got home just as it finished to find me in a bath tub stew...

Yup. Gross huh... Lol
post #34 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelmumma View Post

Ok. New one.
This just happened.... So gross greensad.gif
I just got into the bath tub to try and relieve a stress headache, it was so nice and relaxing when all of a sudden I "didn't feel right" but I could put my finger on it.
Then
I threw up.
In the tub.
And it floated around me.
All of my Mexican that I had for lunch.
DH got home just as it finished to find me in a bath tub stew...
Yup. Gross huh... Lol

EEEK! Sending huge hugs your way mama!! My poor Australian twin :(

post #35 of 40

Oh god these are hilarious, and I'm a little queasy reading them.

 

So I thankfully haven't been puking.  I don't puke much at all, even when I want to.  I had normal length of pretty bad morning sickness this time around, but I rarely throw up.

My stories aren't as good as Queen Travelmummas...

 

I have had a stomach virus in month 9 during two of my pregnancies (missed me on my second kid, I'm praying it misses this one too).  I vomited so very much during both of those, and it started contractions, and I peed myself horribly every time I puked, etc. 

 

Well, with my 3rd pregnancy (Bodhi), I was 8 months, and we were heading to the Irish Festival here in Dallas.  It's a big deal with us, and we have gone nearly every year for 12 years now.  My older kids were with their father that weekend so it was just dh and I, yay.  Exciting.  I started feeling queasy in the car but thought it was carsickness, which I do get sometimes. The last half of the ride I was eyes closed, seat reclined because it was so bad.  I thought I would be fine when I got out of the car...

 

We pull up to the Irish Fest, I get out of the car, and vomit profusely all over the parking lot.  DH is like "dude, you aren't even drinking and you are the one puking at the Fest?" 

 

So then we got back in the car and drove home and I proceeded to puke in a bucket for 48 hours with the nastiest stomach virus.  which is always 10 times worse when you are that pregnant, I promise you.  Interestingly enough, I think I had peed myself less that time around...

post #36 of 40

So I suppose I have one to add to the list.

First let me explain. I have an irrational fear of vomiting. I literally go into "freak out" mode when I hear or see someone puking. It's REALLY bad. I become a complete mess.

So when I was pregnant with my first child at the age of 18....I had not vomited myself since I was 11 years old. I try to avoid it at all costs.

So early on in my pregnancy with my first child. I remember fondly getting the feeling of needing to puke, but not wanting to. I ran to the bathroom and kept the light off because I didn't want to see my own vomit (silly...I know) Long story short. After I was done, I was a total mess and I walked out and my husband came in after me only to discover that the movie the exorcist had just got done being filmed in there. redface.gif I was so embarrased. It was EVERYWHERE, but my dear husband cleaned all of it up for me with out a single complaint. Oh how I love that man.

post #37 of 40

OK!! I have another one to share!!!!!

LOL!!!

This was really really funny!!!!

So. I work as a life model for drawing classes.. I absolutely love it, esp with the bump :))))

This morning I was modelling for a group of high school students, and it was their first time having a life model in the room. It was a bit funny, lots of the boys were embarraed! Lol so cute!

Anyway we did a few warm up poses/drawings then started on a 10 minute pose... Half way through my nipples felt cold all of a sudden... I tried to sneakily peak at them whithout moving!

LOL i looked down and guess what?!?!?! I was SQUIRTING milk!!! While i was frantically thinking "oh crap what do i do?!?!" one of the boys nudged another and whispers really loud "WOW look at that!!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I cracked up laughing! The teacher nearly wet herself!!!

 

LOVE IT!!!

post #38 of 40
Bahahahaha!
post #39 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony96 View Post

Bahahahaha!

Harmony! come join in the weekly chat thread, lady. ;)

post #40 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by stegenrae View Post

Harmony! come join in the weekly chat thread, lady. wink1.gif
in the DDC? Maybe. lol.
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