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I'm losing it.

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

I am so, so tired. My girls are asleep now. Finally. For a little while. They're mostly not napping at the same time, and if they are, it's because I'm out walking them, which gets me out of the house and some exercise, but doesn't get me a break. They wake up in the night, once every four hours a major wakeup, and sometimes other times as well. And the past few nights at least one of those has been a get up sit in a hot shower with a baby so she can breathe. I just got back from walking one baby to sleep, because she can't nurse because of a stuffed up nose.

 

None of my helpers are available (two have quit, and my mom is on a business trip) and my house cleaner is sick. And my husband is very busy with work and teaching, and I feel terrible that he had to get up last night when both girls were upset.

 

And I'm just losing it. Losing my temper, getting angry with my husband, being frustrated with the babies. When they're not sick, I get a break during their naps (an hour in the morning and maybe the same in the afternoon) and when they go to bed (8:30-10). But with them sick...I've had ten minutes today.

 

And I just feel so bad. My husband says it's my own fault for not hiring a nanny. But I feel like most people handle two babies all by themselves just fine. And my mother in law assures me that two is far easier than two of different ages. And almost everybody survives that just fine.

 

I just feel like I'm failing today. And... there's a baby awake.

 

post #2 of 9

with all due respect to your MIL she's got her head up her a$$.  has she raised twins?  I have 7 children total, 21 mth old twins included and I tell you, two kids the same age is very hard, esp.when babies because they are very needy and there is two babies and only one mom.  It is more than double somehow that I cannot explain, but I am sure that you feel.  maybe it was her way of comforting you, not realizing how demoralizing and unhelpful the comment was.

when I got pg with twins, aside from pregancy fears, wondering how I would cope when they are sick really worried me.  I have gone thru 5 or 6 illnesses with my twins and it is EXTREMELY trying.  You have every right to feel like you do.  Your DH's comment wasn't the most helpful, but in spite of everything, you really need his help for now until you can make a better plan work and the babies are well again.  don't be apologetic, whiny or nag, just calmly ask for his help.  if he complains, just calmly tell him you know it's hard (even if you feel like yelling at him), but you really need his help to get through this rough patch.

I have found (so far) sick twins is the hardest thing about having twins.  You will find you are at the end of yourself.  could you push yourself to shamelessly call on someone to help that you didn't consider before, tho is competent enough???

as far as the stuffy nose goes, sterilzed salt water up the little nose ( I found a small spoon will work in a pinch) and the nasal aspirator that you probably still have from their birth is the best remedy.  esp right before a feeding or nap. 

 tell yourself "this too shall pass"  hug2.gif  hang in there!

post #3 of 9

I really really really do not believe that twins are easier than two kids of different ages.  Does your MIL have twins?  Did she have two close in age?  Is she really in a position to say anything?!

 

Our girls are just getting over a brutal gastro bug with projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea and man, that was one of the hardest things we've been through!  It is so SO hard when little ones are sick so definitely cut yourself some slack.  Is there any way your husband could take a day or two off so he could give you a break?  It is my personal opinion that with two babies, you often need two parents.  I may not work outside the home but I sure do work all day and sometime nighttime parenting requires more than one parent. 

 

Just because everyone "survives" and other people "seem to manage just fine" doesn't mean they don't feel exactly the way you feel some days and that they need help sometimes too.  Don't feel bad about asking for help.

 

Hope those babies start feeling better soon!!
 

post #4 of 9

Here here on the salt water up the nose! We've been through FOUR colds since they were born (December 20th -- we've got a 3-year-old who brings home all manner of nastiness from her daycare) and all Swedes use saline solution here. It comes in tiny disposable squirt bottles and a few drops in each nostril does the trick. 30 seconds later, they've either sucked the blockage through, or, even better (and perversely satisfying), a big green one gets blown out. Magic.

post #5 of 9

I hope u r outta the soup now!  Been thinking of u.

post #6 of 9
Thread Starter 

Oh gosh. I feel so lucky that we didn't have a tummy bug. That would have been hard. We're coming out of this now. After I sent that my husband got sick, and then I got very sick, and all of us were just on survival plan for a couple of days. I suspect my migraine was related to the stress of the sick babies. 

 

But there was a little more sleep last night, and my husband has been helping more, and my parents have the girls this morning and I'm going to go take a nap.

 

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I read it shortly after it was sent and it was very helpful.

 

post #7 of 9

You are a superhero - I cannot fathom being sick with a sick husband and then sick twins!  Hope things get back to normal for you soon!

post #8 of 9

You know, I'm sorry you're having a rough time, but I'm so glad you posted about it.  I still feel like having twins is way harder than I expected and every day have moments where I'm just completely overwhelmed.  It is comforting that I'm not the only one!  I also do not have a lot of help, and rarely get even four hours sleep in a row.  I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I do completely understand where you are coming from!  

post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 

I so appreciate having such an awesome community of support. Thank you. I'm also in awe of the collective number of children represented here. Wow. What a wonderful bunch of kids we have. May they all stay healthy and happy.

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