or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › Is it possible for an Aspergers child to be overly social?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Is it possible for an Aspergers child to be overly social?

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 

Something I've read about Aspergers says that one of the main symptoms is a lack of desire to be social. But my DS (who we are still trying to get diagnosed) is the total opposite. He craves social interaction and attention so much.

 

Sometimes he will go up to children on the playground and ask if they want to play. Of course, they have to agree to do exactly what he wants to do, but some children don't mind that. And he plays well with children who dont mind being told what the "plan" is and then following the plan. lol

 

I also know that he wants and needs alot of attention and alot of social "input". He needs someone to listen to him go on and on about things. Sometimes he does get in his world, but he gets happy when someone joins him. So it doesn't make sense to me that all Aspergers and ASD are simply not social.

 

Any thoughts?

post #2 of 37

I'm very social. I've been called a social butterfly.
My friend, a male, is the same way.
My friend's daughter is also a social butterfly.

We all have aspergers.

post #3 of 37
Thread Starter 

Amazing... and confusing! Am I wrong in thinking that most professionals have made the assumption that people with Aspergers are not social?

 

 

post #4 of 37

Yes... can you explain, HarperRose? I have 2 professionals (not specialists in ASD) telling me I'm silly to get DD evaluated for Aspergers because, though she has a lot of other symptoms, she is interactive with others and well rounded. "Aspergers kids want to sit around talking about the train schedule all day" was said to me.

 

 

post #5 of 37

Lurking because this is exactly what we keep getting told about DS1.

post #6 of 37

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by andromedajulie View Post

"Aspergers kids want to sit around talking about the train schedule all day" was said to me.

 

 

 

Oy...it makes me crazy that people are saying this to you. Having an intense special interest is part of the diagnostic criteria for Aspergers, but it can manifest in a variety of different ways. And you can have an ASD (specifically, PDD-NOS) without having a special interest. What you are describing about a child who needs to be in charge and direct the play is one pretty typical presentation for a child on the spectrum.

 

My son, who has Aspergers, is fairly social, although I would also say he is an introvert who likes alone time (as does his NT sister). He has been in social skills groups with ASD kids who are VERY social, but have a hard time with social cues. They tend to be almost in your face and not aware of personal space, etc. While this is not how my child looks, I have definitely seen it. When professionals are limited in what they understand about people on the spectrum, I think it is really problematic in terms of getting folks the diagnosis (and therefore services) they need.

post #7 of 37

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by christinelin View Post

 

 

Oy...it makes me crazy that people are saying this to you. Having an intense special interest is part of the diagnostic criteria for Aspergers, but it can manifest in a variety of different ways. And you can have an ASD (specifically, PDD-NOS) without having a special interest. What you are describing about a child who needs to be in charge and direct the play is one pretty typical presentation for a child on the spectrum.

 

My son, who has Aspergers, is fairly social, although I would also say he is an introvert who likes alone time (as does his NT sister). He has been in social skills groups with ASD kids who are VERY social, but have a hard time with social cues. They tend to be almost in your face and not aware of personal space, etc. While this is not how my child looks, I have definitely seen it. When professionals are limited in what they understand about people on the spectrum, I think it is really problematic in terms of getting folks the diagnosis (and therefore services) they need.

 

This is my son. A ped told me, categorically, that he's not on the spectrum, because he makes eye contact. *sigh*
I'm still pretty sure he's somewhere on the spectrum, for a lot of reasons, but what do I know? I'm only with him pretty much 24/7.


(He also doesn't make eye contact as much as people think. If you watch him closely, he's frequently looking at the face of the person he's talking to, but his focus is on a nose, cheek, forehead, etc.)

post #8 of 37

Storm Bride: can you see someone else for an eval for your son? A regular ped is typically not going to be able to assess ASDs unless they see a child with classic, bite-you-on-the-nose autism. A developmental ped or a child psychologist who specializes in doing evaluations and know what high-functioning spectrum kids looks like is going to be your best bet.

 

My kiddo does pseudo eye contact, too. And his eye contact is terrific if he is talking about something he is interested in. duh.gif

post #9 of 37

This drives me nuts because the people diagnosing typically DON'T have Aspergers themselves. How can you accurately and correctly diagnose something you don't even experience? Not social? Really? Do these diagnosticians even BOTHER to talk to the adults on the spectrum? 


My 12 yr old talks to kids at school, talks to kids in the neighborhood, talks to kids online. I talk to people online all the time, I recently, willingly, met a couple of new neighbors, even inviting them into my home, I talk to the people at my daughter's school, I'm quite involved with a local autism group and I even host events in my house.

When the social interaction is over, I need to decompress. I need some quiet time after I interact with people. It doesn't mean I'm not social. It means I've had a lot of sensory input.

If your kids have every marker for aspergers but the doctors say "too social" it's time to find a new dr.

My son's school didn't dx him w/ aspergers because he made eye contact (no - he looked at their faces, which I'd been teaching him to do since age 2) and because he contributed to a conversation between 2 evaluators (they were discussing lunch, he noted that the restaurant also sold root beer - his favorite soda at the time). He still has aspergers.

post #10 of 37

The way that it was explained to me is that lots of kids with Asperger's are socially active, but odd. They want to interact and they like people, but they don't have a good grasp of the rules.

 

Example: OP's child asks kids to play, but then he requires the kids to do exactly what he says. That's a social delay. Little kids frequently do that. As kids get older they quickly learn to negotiate the give and take of social interaction, along with other social rules. Kids with Asperger's take longer to learn the rules or don't learn them without explicit teaching. (My kid mostly doesn't learn social rules without explicit teaching.)

 


 

post #11 of 37

Oh, by the way, I don't like trains. :p Neither did my 12 yr old aspie. 

My focuses over the years:
 

Cats

Pregnancy

Birth

Breastfeeding

Natural living

Autism

Aspergers

Punky Brewster

Disney Movies

 


No trains on that list...

post #12 of 37
Thread Starter 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by christinelin View PostHe has been in social skills groups with ASD kids who are VERY social, but have a hard time with social cues. They tend to be almost in your face and not aware of personal space, etc. While this is not how my child looks, I have definitely seen it. When professionals are limited in what they understand about people on the spectrum, I think it is really problematic in terms of getting folks the diagnosis (and therefore services) they need.

Yes, my DS has a very hard time with social cues and personal space. And just like Harper Rose, DH and I taught DS certain socially acceptable things. Like how to keep out of peoples faces and keep his hands to himself. Of course, he still needs reminding almost all the time, but I agree that this can confuse some pediatricians. Its sad that we've worked so hard with social skills and diet only to find that these are the very things that are making the diagnosis harder to get. It would be so easy to feed my child milk and then bring him into the Dr's office and watch him stim, spin, scream and bang his head. But I don't want to put him through that just for a diagnosis. You know?

 

And as, you mentioned, Storm Bride, that having or not having one trait such as eye contact would invalidate a diagnosis is ludicrous! DS didn't get diagnosed with ASD by the school because he is way ahead in language and math skills.  But what about his 5th percentile motor skills? What about obvious gaps in his learning?

 

Im interested in this because we finally have his developmental pediatrician appointment coming up in May. We have waited almost 9 months to see this specific D.Ped. I am nervous about it because he does okay in new situations. He enjoys the stimulation of new people and places, so he reacts extremely well to doctors visits and evaluations. To the average eye, he seems like a well behaved, well spoken, polite and adjusted little "man".  I just hope the Dr. is educated enough to see beyond all of this.

 

 

 

 

post #13 of 37
Thread Starter 

DS loves trains, but he is obsessed with Thomas - not train schedules. Don't you dare try to deviate from the script (in the show) while you are trying to play trains with him.

 

And he doesn't have a specific obsession with one thing. It's always *something* but not always the same thing.

 

oh - and I love Punky Brewster too! lol

post #14 of 37

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thing1Thing2 View Post

DS loves trains, but he is obsessed with Thomas - not train schedules. Don't you dare try to deviate from the script (in the show) while you are trying to play trains with him.

 

And he doesn't have a specific obsession with one thing. It's always *something* but not always the same thing.

 

oh - and I love Punky Brewster too! lol

 

Did you know Soleil Moon Frye is also a naturally-minded mama? Yeah, I was pretty stoked by that when I found her on Twitter. :D

post #15 of 37

I decided to ask the fans on my FB page for their thoughts on the topic.
https://www.facebook.com/parentingwithaspergers/posts/412483358776394?ref=notif&notif_t=feed_comment

Also, another FB page posted this VERY topic today. Here's his link:
https://www.facebook.com/autismdiscussionpage/posts/302803916465782

No idea if there will be anything useful to you guys, but I thought I'd share it.

post #16 of 37

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by christinelin View Post

Storm Bride: can you see someone else for an eval for your son? A regular ped is typically not going to be able to assess ASDs unless they see a child with classic, bite-you-on-the-nose autism. A developmental ped or a child psychologist who specializes in doing evaluations and know what high-functioning spectrum kids looks like is going to be your best bet.

 

My kiddo does pseudo eye contact, too. And his eye contact is terrific if he is talking about something he is interested in. duh.gif

 

 

The standard approach here is to get a referral to a ped from your GP, then proceed from there. This was last summer, and I just kind of let things slide. I had blood test requisitions, but never got the bloodwork done. I'm going to start off with a new referral, I think. The ped didn't listen to me worth squat. She also gave me unasked for parenting advice that had nothing to do with the issues at hand. I get easily discouraged when dealing with medical professionals.

 

post #17 of 37
It's a common misunderstanding of asp and HF autism that you can't be social. Many/most are social, but do not understand or internalize the social rules and social conventions and typical give and take of social interactions. What you described in the OP is Asp to a T!

I'm confused by people saying "my school wouldn't Dx..." schools are not in the business of DXing. They an classify for educational purposes, but it should e a dev ped or neuropsych or someone MUCH for qualified making such a serious Dx.
post #18 of 37

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Altair View Post

It's a common misunderstanding of asp and HF autism that you can't be social. Many/most are social, but do not understand or internalize the social rules and social conventions and typical give and take of social interactions. What you described in the OP is Asp to a T!
I'm confused by people saying "my school wouldn't Dx..." schools are not in the business of DXing. They an classify for educational purposes, but it should e a dev ped or neuropsych or someone MUCH for qualified making such a serious Dx.

 

Schools evaluate and diagnose for their own purposes. It is not anything close to a true medical diagnosis. I don't think anyone here is saying that the schools dx and it's law. It's just an aspect of the conversation.

post #19 of 37
Thread Starter 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride 

 

 

The standard approach here is to get a referral to a ped from your GP, then proceed from there. This was last summer, and I just kind of let things slide. I had blood test requisitions, but never got the bloodwork done. I'm going to start off with a new referral, I think. The ped didn't listen to me worth squat. She also gave me unasked for parenting advice that had nothing to do with the issues at hand. I get easily discouraged when dealing with medical professionals.

 

 

Totally get the frustration of this. My younger DS pediatrician did the same thing just this week irked.gif

 

Great links Harper Rose - and perfect timing!! And now I'm definitely going to have to look her up on Twitter! She was my idol when I was younger!

post #20 of 37

My dd is very much like the OP, but on the ADOS she scored 0.  She does, however have CAPD, auditory dyslexia, giftedness and an anxiety disorder that cause her to act like an Aspie at times.  A lot of characteristics like rigidity and control, fixations etc. can be explained by more than one dx.  It can be very hard for even specialized professionals to come up with an accurate dx.  I'm not saying OPs kid isn't on the spectrum, just that you can't telll from a paragraph describing a kid what is likely to be going on with them.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Special Needs Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › Is it possible for an Aspergers child to be overly social?