My dd is very much like the OP, but on the ADOS she scored 0. She does, however have CAPD, auditory dyslexia, giftedness and an anxiety disorder that cause her to act like an Aspie at times. A lot of characteristics like rigidity and control, fixations etc. can be explained by more than one dx. It can be very hard for even specialized professionals to come up with an accurate dx. I'm not saying OPs kid isn't on the spectrum, just that you can't telll from a paragraph describing a kid what is likely to be going on with them.
I've wondered if ds2's issues may be related to these things, as opposed to the autism spectrum. I don't think he has ADHD and ODD, though.