Edited by MadiMamacita - 4/28/12 at 9:56am
I was also looking for somethin' juicy!
DH has been sick for the last few days and he goes from being Mr. Kind, Considerate & Polite most of the time to world's biggest pain in the *ss when he's sick let me tell you!! Since it only happens about once a year my new strategy is to avoid him. We eat dinner together every single night, and last night, maybe for the first time ever, I brought him a lovely plate of dinner to where he was sulking in the livingroom and ran outta there I enjoyed dinner by myself while watching Housewives of Orange Country thank you very much!
DDC crashin'. It's not cool that it's all out in the open now that you're pregnant. DP did this same thing to me and I found out when I was only 2 weeks postpartum. And then he said I was overreacting and that he did that because I wasn't flirty enough and that I was boring and too wrapped up in motherhood. To make matters worse, he's been flirting with her since the beginning of our relationship (and he is still lying about it). Ugh. He still thinks it's no big deal.
So, so glad that I'm not the only one feeling this way. And it's good to know that I'm not overreacting.
I hope things work out with you and your DH. Trust is such a hard thing sometimes.
I'm so sorry. That really sucks, to put it mildly! I agree with help007, you are Not overreacting, and I think counseling is a great idea. If counseling with a professional isn't something you or he is comfortable with, then maybe at least a mediator of some sort who you both feel you can trust not to tell others, and who has both of your best interests at heart so that you both feel you can let your guard down to tell them about the situation and about what's underlying, if anything is. (Clergy at a local church might be a place to start, or a wise, mutual friend.) While he's earning your trust, would he be willing to either stop facebook or give you access? Not that you want anything to increase your worries of mistrust, but as an accountability of sorts for him?
I hope this all gets worked out for you both, and that he accepts responsibility for the things he is doing. I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
Oh! I would be LIVID! Lying like that is completely and utterly disrespectful. I would message her back and make sure you get the entire story. If he's disrespecting you behind your back, he's behaving like a complete dirt bag. Some guys think that just because they "wouldn't do anything" with another woman, it makes bad behavior like this okay. Flirting with another woman in a way that's more than just friendly conversation is EXTREMELY disrespectful. Now if there's an underlying issue, this may just be a way for him to seek out something he's missing at home. But he has a responsibility to be MAN enough to bring it up because nobody is a mind reader! Saying that you need more attention from your spouse does not make you less of a man, but looking for that attention elsewhere does.
I have to agree. Not overreacting - at all. tHe fact that he tries to cover it up even after you've found evidence of it is just really weird, IMO. If it really is as innocent as it was explained (she voicing feelings for him (but after this long? she loves him? that seems really weird) then he could just say so and be done with it.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this right now.
Ugg. Nope, not overreacting. In fact I think he should be very grateful for how calmly you are taking the whole thing. I hope he really understands that he took what would have been a tiny issue (assuming he's now telling the truth about it) and made it way, way worse by failing to be honest. I would be so made, and so hurt, that he not only lied, but tried to turn it around and make you feel like you had something to be guilty for.
I'm also really glad you two seem to be working through this, and that he's at least repentant. I hope he understands what it will take to rebuild your trust.