POLL: Do you plan on finding out the gender? « Back to Group Discussions

[phatchristy]

I thought I would create a poll.  I'm wondering what other parents are planning on doing.  I have both boys and girls already so I am planning on going for the surprise!

The other issue too is that if you find out at the birth there's no way anyone could be 'disappointed' really as the baby is right there with you.  During an ultrasound and pregnancy it's not as 'real' feeling.

[kawa kamuri]

I don't think I'll find out my child's gender for years to come, but I may find out the sex in a few months.  

The only reason I feel pulled to find out the sex is so that I don't agonise over boy names unless baby is a boy, and so I can get rid of either the girl or boy clothes taking over my home. Other than those fluffy reason I don't care to know.

[themothership]

We will be finding out the sex of fetus2.0, but will not be telling any one. We have a preference in mind, and I think I'd feel better if I had 20ish weeks to prepare for either sex, talk about only one set of names, decide if we need to shop for clothes or not, etc...

We won't be telling people because I want something to keep to myself. Someone for my husband and I to share and bond in before telling the world.

[zebrachick83]

Definitely finding out here. Our boys are already sharing a room, so if this is another boy, we'll need to start making some adjustments to our living arrangement well in advance. 

[Shiloh]

I might.  I might not.

Last baby, I have children of each sex.

Might want the surprise.

Might not.

I ate pickles, fish, mayo and green jello for dinner...

I change my mind more often than my undies...

[junebug1]

we found out with all of our previous children, but this time i want it to be a surprise.  we'll see if i still feel the same way at the anatomy scan!

[heyitskalista]

We won't find out.  We did with our first and didn't with the other two.  It was much more fub having my husband announce it at birth!
 

[revolting]

Originally Posted by kawa kamuri 

I don't think I'll find out my child's gender for years to come, but I may find out the sex in a few months.  

The only reason I feel pulled to find out the sex is so that I don't agonise over boy names unless baby is a boy, and so I can get rid of either the girl or boy clothes taking over my home. Other than those fluffy reason I don't care to know.

I plan to avoid routine ultrasounds. If I happen to get an ultrasound for this pregnancy, I don't mind knowing the sex, but I'm hoping to avoid an ultrasound altogether.

Edited by revolting - 5/2/12 at 8:29am

[kateadelle]

We plan on finding out. I am embarrassed to admit that we have a pretty strong gender preference and I would rather find out ahead of time what to expect.

[TheDivineMrsM]

We plan to find out. I want to try for a VBAC with this baby, and I figure that the birth itself will provide enough surprises. 

[BetsyPage]

I will find out, if baby cooperates. We did with both our girls. I won't have repeated ultrasounds, and don't think I want a 3-D one, but we will do at least one.

My youngest is 6 yo, and I have NO baby stuff, so we will have to start from scratch. And since this is our third, and my IL's who used to be very generous with helping us buy kids clothes are in poor health and not able to help us, we will need to buy everything. So I'd like some lead time to be able to do some bargain shopping to get ready!
 

[katroshka]

I'm not finding out this time. I waited with my first two, then because they really wanted a brother I decided to find out so that they would have time to adjust if it was a girl. It was another girl, and they were disappointed, but the one who was most disappointed ended up loving her baby sister so much that she wants another one now! The oldest still wants a brother, but she will be ok either way.

For me, finding out in the ultrasound room was totally lame and anti-climactic, so not doing that again. I love the moment when the baby comes out and you get to hear "It's a ____!" Totally fun and exciting, really looking forward to it!

[purposefuldoula]

I think I've decided to NOT find out this time.  I found out with my other two, but this time around, I'm not so sure about doing an ultrasound just to find out.  Give me about ten weeks though, and I may have changed my mind 

[Jackies]

I don't plan on having a routine ultrasound, so probably not.

I didn't know before reading this thread about the "It's a ___" moment. That seems like something I'd be into. Much nicer than a stranger saying it in a sterile room.

[SweetTea]

Originally Posted by kateadelle 

We plan on finding out. I am embarrassed to admit that we have a pretty strong gender preference and I would rather find out ahead of time what to expect.

I don't think that's anything to be embarrassed about! I think it's pretty normal to have a preference. You'll love your baby either way.

DH and I don't plan to find out. This is our first, and I think it will be fun to find out at the birth when we get to hear "It's a ___!" after all that hard work of bringing the baby out into the world. And in more practical terms, with this being our first baby, I would love to avoid the flood of pink or blue things from well-meaning family and friends. Yes, it is the thought that counts, and no one has to give us anything at all. But still, it would be nice to get things that we can use for all future babies, regardless of the sex.

BUT. I should say that I'm starting to wonder more and more if maybe we should find out, and just keep the information to ourselves. I know DH has a preference, and while I'm trying to remain as neutral as possible to be fair to the baby, sometimes I do have to admit to myself that I do too (even though I know I'll be thrilled either way because Hello, we made a baby!). So maybe it wouldn't be a horrible idea if we found out (and still kept it to ourselves to avoid the pink and blue). I never thought I'd consider finding out -- we've said for years that we wouldn't -- but I imagine it may become harder to hold out around 20 weeks when the ultrasound tech asks us the question on the spot.

I still really want that "It's a ___!" moment. But every now and then I'm really scared that we might feel the smallest bit of disappointment if we hear one answer over another, and I don't know if I'm okay with that. Anyway, only 8 weeks along, so there's plenty of time to decide for sure.

[SweetTea]

Originally Posted by katroshka 

I'm not finding out this time. I waited with my first two, then because they really wanted a brother I decided to find out so that they would have time to adjust if it was a girl. It was another girl, and they were disappointed, but the one who was most disappointed ended up loving her baby sister so much that she wants another one now! The oldest still wants a brother, but she will be ok either way.
For me, finding out in the ultrasound room was totally lame and anti-climactic, so not doing that again. I love the moment when the baby comes out and you get to hear "It's a ____!" Totally fun and exciting, really looking forward to it!

Okay, you've sold me on the original plan! That moment is something that I've been dreaming about. Plus, I imagine any disappointment DH or I might feel will be gone in a flash once we have the baby in our arms. I'm wondering if gender disappointment would seem like a bigger thing if all we end up with is an ultrasound photo and then have 20 more weeks to wonder about the what if's and if only's.

I should print this out so I can keep it in mind for about 12 weeks from now :-)

[kaleiskind]

We weren't if we were having a singleton, but with twins--we just want to know. We'll be of course be happy no matter what.

[LittleGriff]

We won't find out. I am so excited to go back to the surprise method. We didn't find out with #1 - and it was so magical to meet him for the first time without any preconceptions.

We did find out with #2 because we thought we would only have two kids and my husband didn't want any moments of disappointment at the birth if it wasn't a girl. At first the plan was for just my husband to know, I still wanted a surprise. But that, of course, did not last. We didn't tell anyone else though until she was born. But it was still anti-climactic, as a previous poster said.

So now, having covered all the genders (ha), we can go back to complete suspense. Just the way I like it. (Plus, there are so many gender neutral clothes for newborns. I never felt the need to prepare on that front.) It just took some magic away for me to find out beforehand. And we're not doing this again, so this is our last chance. Plus, I feel like gender is such an over-emphasized distinction. It matters, but not in predictable ways. I'd like to think of babies as little people rather than little men or little women anyway. The 9 months of getting to know baby in utero sans gender label helps cement that for me.

Edited by LittleGriff - 4/30/12 at 7:04am

[chicajones]

For the past few years I was definitely on the "I don't want to find out until the birth" boat, but things are a little different now. :) With a cross-continental move coming in the fall, we feel like there's enough up in the air, so we would like to find out and have one less unknown. I'd like to avoid having too many ultrasounds as well (both for cost and because we don't want too much unnecessary intervention), so I'll have to figure out the optimal time to find out. 

I do think we'll have the US tech just write it down on a slip of paper and put it in an envelope, so that we can decide how we want to find out. Even if it's just sitting on our couch at home, I'd rather find out there than in an unfamiliar, sterile room. 

[katroshka]

Also, my partner and I were a bit disappointed when we found out we were having another girl (#3), it didn't last long but it was worse being there with the tech... I know that I am so happy when the baby is finally out and I am so in love as soon as I see that little face that I could never be disappointed then!

Now we are kind of hoping for another girl so that my youngest has a sister around her age and things will be simpler with bedrooms down the road, but we still think it would be fun to have a boy so it doesn't really matter. My two oldest are major tomboys so in a sense it's like having boys anyway... I don't have any real gender expectations at this point so to me it's pretty much just a different set of genitalia. It would be nice not to have everyone send me loads of pink crap even after we specifically said NO PINK! (I don't mind a little, but people go crazy with it, ugh!)