I signed the papers today

[brusselsprout]

I didn't know it would feel so raw, I didn't know my wound was still so fresh. I have been crying all day long (well, except while I binged on peanutbutter chocolate chip milkshake). So tommorrow the lawyer files the petition, and mails the paperwork to stbx, 30 days from tommorrow if stbx has sent back the papers like he is supposed to we will be filing the dissolution papers, and as soon as the court clerk processes it we are done This hurts so damn bad. I just don't understand it. Why did he leave mee for someone that has a history of treating him bad? Why does he tell me I am his best friend and he never wanted to hurt me and then do these things to me? And why won't the hurt go away? I have had 6 months to deal with this already while we waited for the seperation to be legal and while I establsihed residency in my state. I don't understand why it still feels so fresh, like we just split up yesterday, I thought the tears would be gone by now

[wemoon]

[toepea]

I had a friend tell me, when my divorce became final and hers was 30+ years final, with tears, that she understood exactly where I was at. Yes, it was still that real to her too. It is sooooo hard even when you know it is the right thing to do. So, I guess I do not have any fabulous advice but I can honestly tell you that with time it will get easier to deal with and less raw. And remember that you are worth the effort that he is not willing to give to you-- someday someone will recognize that, even if that someone is YOU.

[mocha09]

I know this is hard, and going through the official process will bring a lot to the surface. You're in my thoughts.

[brusselsprout]

Thanks for the hugs. I just dont want to do this right now I wish life had a rewind button so I could back things up to when life was "right", back before stbx went insane :LOL I was so tempted to stop off at the store tonight and pick up a cheap bottle of wine in "celebration" : but I just knew that ds3 would wake up and need to nurse if I did that! So, my sis in law has promised me a drunken night out once baby is weaned and I start feeling comfortable with the idea of a sitter.....so in a couple years I might actually collect on that night out :LOL

[Millie Ivy]

hugs to you...

As bizarre as it sounds, it does get easier. It has been two years since I separated from my ex, and 1.5 years since the divorce was finalized, so I am more removed from it. I am happy and all that, but I watched Under the Tuscan Sun last week and it just dredged it all up. I hadn't really cried like that in a while. I am rambling I know...:

The best piece of advice I received during my divorce was to let myself go through the hurt. To grieve and go through the process of hurting.

hugs, and prayers,

Shelley

[SingleDad]

I'm so sorry about your pain Brusselsprout, wish there were something I could say to take it away, but I know it's a process you're going to have to go through. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, and big hugs to ya in the meantime.

[comet]

I'm sorry. I hope that you have the worst behind you now.

[lilmiss'mama]

s my heart breaks for you. I take it from the OP another woman is involved. I have been thru that too. It was the most devestating thing that has ever happened to me. BUT, it does get better. Sometimes when I get weepy still, I think about all the crappy things my x did and how we are better off now. It is hard having kids so little. I hope you have family close to help. And like someone else said, just let it out, don't bury it. Work thru it and then let it go.

[carmen veranda]

I am so sorry too. I have no words of comfort. Just know that it will get better and as the fog of grief begins to lift you will see the bright colors of the grass and sky agian. You will hear men and woman laughing together and not want to cry. You will wake up with joy in your heart rather than a stone of sorrow. I promise. Until then. Just put one foot in front of another. And let your heart grieve. I wish there was a magic pill or something. I am sorry.