My amazing son is delayed - Page 3

[bananabee]

Originally Posted by RStelle 

Hi, sorry if someone all ready said this (I didn't have time to read everyone's posts) but when children are growing up learning more than one language they often, if not always, speak late. It is totally normal, judging from that I don't think your son is even behind at all. It sound like he is right on track for someone learning 3 languages at once!
 

Yes, this is so true!

Originally Posted by Tina Dun 

So, his vocabulary is growing every day. He is learning to do new things every day. He is getting better with a fork, he kicks his ball further all the time,climbs the stairs without holding on to a thing. He points at his favourite things in his favourite books and looks up at me to name them for him.

Today he went for his second last speech therapy session with his dad. His dad came home and said that he was clumsy putting the pegs into the holes and she recos a physiotherapist

So, now the team of experts is: Occupational Therapist, Physiotherapist, Speech Therapist and Developmental Pedicatrician.

I am totally comfortable with the Dev Pediatrician

Hmmm. Just a hunch but it sounds like your son does NOT like his ST and to top it off, doesn't feel the need to pretend like he does in front of his dad. 

One of my good friends is married to a native Spanish speaker, so mom speaks English and dad speaks primarily Spanish to their kids, and they've taught their oldest a variety of baby signs since he was an infant. Their oldest is about to turn 3 yrs old. She has brought him to my house many times and around when he turned 2 yrs old, was saying the same thing. His "first steps" speech therapist was saying his language is behind. I've spent most of my career working with bilingual children and deaf/hard of hearing children, so I am used to looking for clues as to what is really going on. After hanging out with them several times, I told her that her son seems absolutely normal, and that he is shy with new people, therefore he doesn't talk much when out in public or while with his speech therapist because he doesn't feel comfortable. He understood absolutely everything that mom and dad said to him, and could easily follow instructions. He seemed so perfectly normal, I told her I was willing to bet he could do everything the therapist asked of him if he ever got the nerve up. 

Well, after much worrying and discussing with his doctor and trying to figure out what else it might be, one day he shocked everyone's socks off and performed like he was getting paid. He said all the words he's supposed to know in English, Spanish, and signed them. A week or two later he was not talking again to anyone except mom and dad. It was just his own way, and a big part of it was how much attention he got when everyone was in a tizzy all worried about him, and trying to get him to talk. What a racket.

My own DD is just 24 mos old, and doesn't say a ton of words, but loves to ask me to say them. She's very sharp, and able to understand what's going on around her as well as any other child her age, but she doesn't say nearly as many words as some 2 yr olds I know. I don't worry about it. She's very visual, as am I, and she's very interested/curious/enthusiastic about everything (except brushing her teeth). One of my neighbors has a 26 mo old who has been labeled as "failure to thrive" and "speech delayed", but she is a CHATTERBOX and says way more words than DD does. She pointed across a pond one day and yelled "turtle!". My DD knows "a dog", "a kee!" (kitty), "bird" and "cow", "hi!!", "bye!!" "ball" "go pway?" and new this week is "a car", "uh oh, OH NO!", and "tickle tickle tickle!" Other than that she doesn't say a lot that is understandable. I think "eeban" = I want, "co co" = the verb "to color", "baboo" = "blue" and "co call" = "what color is that?", and sometimes if I'm lucky, she will say "Mamie!!"

But she understands a TON of other things, and has many ways to communicate with me.

When she's hungry, she pushes her hands into her hollow tummy. When she wants down from her high chair, she stomps her feet alternatingly. 

If someone were to tell me she is delayed right now, I would laugh. Everyday there is some new thing she says or does that shows me how rapidly she is growing and developing. Everyday I have to be on my toes. We have so much fun together. I'm not one bit worried about her. She's a happy healthy kid.

It could be the speech teacher is more worried about getting children labeled and pushed into the system with a diagnosis, than she is with the quality of the lives she encounters. 

[TuiNZ]

Ahhh I really feel for you! Not because I think there is anything wrong with your son (from what you've described) but because I have been there and know what it is like to worry about your child's development, read the internet, one day think they're fine, the next worry again...

My DS is almost 3 and a year ago I was exactly in your shoes. By the time he was 24 months old he had maybe 10-15 words. He understood what we were saying to him, he played properly, was affectionate, good eye contact... a little on the shy side though, didn't play with other kids... And this last point was exactly why the word "autism" kept coming up so much! I posted something here on the "special needs" page where I detailed my DS's behaviour as much as I could and most people thought there was nothing wrong with him. But then you get  the odd person who says "evaluate him" and I would start wondering again.

Anyway... fast track 12 months - he is a normal 3 year old. Still shy and a sensitive soul but is talking in sentences in three different languages. He has started going to daycare which is helping him overcome his shyness and once he earns someone's trust he relaxes and communicates with them and plays with them. I shouldn't be surprised though because at his age I was exactly like him.

And I would agree with those who say that the reason he's not following instructions probably has more to do with the fact that he doesn't like the speech therapist. Just as an example, we are taking part in some long term research of growing up in New Zealand and someone comes every year to check on DS and interact with him. At his 2 year appointment they wanted to get him to stack blocks one on top of the other and then smash them. Well, he wouldn't no matter how much this woman tried (and despite the fact that I knew he could do it and even more). And then, as soon as she wasn't looking, he did exactly what she asked.

Our DS has some quirks in that he seems more sensitive than other boys his age... or even than our second DS. But it's just who he is and DH and I keep joking that he'll probably be an artist. But even at this age he is able to show empathy which is amazing. For example, recently I hurt my toe and he ran for help and then ran back and gave me big cuddles and said "Mama hurt her toe... toe hurts!".

It is important to remember that most people are extroverts... only 10% of us are introverted. So it is no surprise that your DS's therapist doesn't encounter kids like him very often (let alone kids who are learning 3 languages)!

I would say wait and see. I know I'll probably be slammed because everyone these days is worried about missing that "development" train, but it seems to me that your original gut feeling is telling you your DS is okay. And I would go with that. Despite the fact that, because of all the info out there, your gut feeling got a bit lost and confused along the way.