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I miss MDC - Page 5

post #81 of 154
Quote:

Originally Posted by Peggy O'Mara View Post

I think you're onto something in suggesting that we possibly eliminate the sub-forums. They were started when we were crazy busy. Now, as you all say, first you don't know which one to go to and then when you do there is not that much urgency because there are not that many new posts. I wonder if consolidated the sub-forums into the forums if we could have more sense of urgency. What do you think of this? Just a first draft!

 

WELCOME TO MOTHERINGDOTCOMMUNITY.docx 61k .docx file

 

I ALREADY VOICED MY VOTE FOR LESS SUB-FORUMS SO I WOULD SAY THIS IS AN IMPROVEMENT.

 

 

 

Also, we are getting more new members than we ever have, but they must be meeting some obstacles to posting.

 

IT’S POSTS NOT NEW MEMBERS.docx 48k .docx file

 

WOW, I'M SURPRISED IT HAS DROPPED OFF SO MUCH IN THE SHORT TIME I'VE BEEN HERE. I DON'T THINK THE CONFUSION ABOUT SOCIAL GROUP DDC IS HELPING THOUGH.

 

 

We changed Due Date Clubs to social groups, but they are hard to find. I think this is a big obstacle as most new members are pregnant. I'm working on making the Due Date Clubs more clear and accessible. Check them out and let me know what you think.

 

AS ABOVE, THE SOCIAL GROUP THING IS STILL DIFFICULT, BUT I DO LIKE THAT THE DROP-DOWN DIRECTS YOU TO THE SOCIAL GROUPS NOW. I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE APRIL DDC DISAPPEARS? IF YOU WERE NEW, WITHOUT THE FEW DDC LEFT IN THE DROP-DOWN, YOU MIGHT NOT REALIZE THERE ARE EVEN DDC AVAILABLE.

post #82 of 154

I was really active about 2- 2 1/2 years ago, but then my life blew apart.  For the last year, until recently, I've been practically a ghost member, and I see a definite change.  I miss the old MDC, also.

post #83 of 154

I would also dump Facebook.

 

And, ooh, going to look for the paranormal thread... lol.gif

post #84 of 154

where is the "unanswered thread" ... i cannot find it.

post #85 of 154

Whatever you do Peggy, please do not get rid of the Single Parenting Lounge. I love it, it is my safe haven for ranting about the challenges of single parenting (and my ex).

post #86 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by IsaFrench View Post

where is the "unanswered thread" ... i cannot find it.

If you hover over the Forums tab you'll see tabs pop up under it (above all the subforums)

 

Forums|New Posts|Hot|Unanswered|I've Posted

post #87 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramzubo View Post

If you hover over the Forums tab you'll see tabs pop up under it (above all the subforums)

 

Forums|New Posts|Hot|Unanswered|I've Posted

 

 

Thanks!  I never noticed this before.

post #88 of 154

thank you ... I had never clicked over there .... because i tend to only go to the 4 sub-forums that interest me

(and if I have time, to the "new posts" at the very end of the page !

took me quite a few minutes to find it... but I got there ....

post #89 of 154
I haven't been here as much... I do check MDC almost daily but hardly post anymore. Partly it's just that there aren't many threads to respond to, and partly my life is a total mess and getting it together enough to even write a post is sometimes impossible!!

I agree that getting rid of most of the subforums would help. I'm also annoyed by all the spammers recently, probably because they nearly outnumber the regular posters.

There are only a few forums I check regularly, I tend to forget about the rest of MDC because it's just not busy enough to make it worth wading through. Plus I have a lot of anxiety about starting threads because no one responds and then I just feel dumb for posting in the first place. I did enjoy being able to post about serious issues here with some anonymity... can't do that with FB!

As much as I miss MDC though, I agree with Storm Bride that it's not altogether a bad thing for me. I need to spend less time online anyway. And I really need to focus on real-life relationships because I need the real-life support right now with all that I'm dealing with.
post #90 of 154

I am still a die-hard believer in message boards.  I have FB for certain interactions but I could never have the conversations I want about the topics I want.  I am also mortified that Dr. Amy types poach material from here.  Not more than a few months ago she did it to a mom who ended up with a NICU baby and was ripping apart her post about her feelings after the birth.  That is such a low blow. 

post #91 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I am still a die-hard believer in message boards.  I have FB for certain interactions but I could never have the conversations I want about the topics I want.  I am also mortified that Dr. Amy types poach material from here.  Not more than a few months ago she did it to a mom who ended up with a NICU baby and was ripping apart her post about her feelings after the birth.  That is such a low blow. 

 

I do not know who this Dr. Amy person is, which is a good thing.  I do not like it when the rest of the  world intrudes on my MDC bubble!

 

I wonder if MDC has any obligation to protect our privacy - or is the net and message boards just a free for all?

post #92 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

I wonder if MDC has any obligation to protect our privacy - or is the net and message boards just a free for all?

I'd be interested in this answer, but I always assume that if I post it, it is public.  Unfortunate.

post #93 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

I'd be interested in this answer, but I always assume that if I post it, it is public.  Unfortunate.

Me too.  

 

However, simply because they cannot prevent cut and pastes to other websites (for example) or people stalking other people on the forums, does not mean they should actively tie activities together - such as how FB and mothering.com are grouped together.  

post #94 of 154

Well maybe it's one of those all publicity is good publicity kind of things.  Whether or not it actually hurts someone else.  With regards to the Dr. Amy pulling crap from here to make fun of.  Not discuss but make fun of.

post #95 of 154

There is little to nothing we can do about Dr. Amy. We don't want her type of publicity, we never have.  We do actively remove threads linking to her blog from MDC because it is not worth the hassle and troll influx we get when she knows we are talking about her.

 

Our site is public, and as such, we cannot prevent folks from reading here and in her case copying and pasting things for discussion on her blog. 

 

Dr. Amy is an unfortunate side effect of everyone having a voice on the internet. 

post #96 of 154

I stopped posting much when I had finally had enough of the overmoderation. But I softened, and started coming back, and honestly nothing ever really grabs me.  It's not even that it's slow.  As others have said, there's actually something to be said for a site that you can keep up with without it taking over your life!  

 

When I was TTC and pregnant and had a newborn, I was scared to death because I knew nothing about babies.  I knew I didn't want to CIO, I knew that I wanted to do things as naturally as possible, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed, I knew that I wasn't going to circumcise, I knew that there was controversy about vaccines, I knew that the C section stats are too high.  I found information about all of those things here.

 

And then two problems kind of turned up.  First of all, I am all done with babies and I no longer care about any of these things.  I mean, I care in a general sense that they exist, but what was formally the most interesting conversation in the world has become the most boring.  This is not just MDC, of course: I recently went to a playgroup for babies the age of my youngest, and I was the only one with older kids.  Wow, I was DYING of boredom!  All the talk was about bowel movements and naps and whether you give a snack before the nap or after the nap.  I swear everyone debated that last one for at least half an hour!  Yet I fully realize that when my first was that age, these were the most pressing concerns in my life... so I'm not judging at all, I'm just saying that my life has gone on!  Big kid issues require more nuance and I'm not comfortable talking about most of them on the internet, and I have a much better IRL support network now that I've made friends through playgroups and through preschool.

 

The other issue is that I think that I'm more mainstream than this site, or maybe now that AP is more normal this site went more extreme.  I don't know how to say this politely, but in every issue that I think I'm pretty crunchy and that MDC can help me, I then come here and so many people seem to be living in some alternate universe from me.  And I'm glad they have MDC, but it turns me, personally, off.  For example, I homeschool but I'm constantly shocked at things I read in the homeschooling forum here.  I can't even read it anymore, because I find it so upsetting.  Most of the other major issues discussed here are the same.  I sort of agree with them, but not to the extent that is the norm here.

 

I think MDC has to decide if it wants to go more "mainstream," understanding that BFing and babywearing and gentle discipline and med-free childbirth and doulas are all now pretty mainstream concepts.  I don't think my friends are particularly crunchy, and they ALL breastfed (at least a little), and own at least an Ergo if not wraps, and exchange strategies about how to get one of the hospital birthing rooms with the jacuzzi to help naturally relieve the pain.  Or if it wants to remain true to its base, which is a bit more "fringe," and therefore likely to put off some of the more crunchy-mainstream parents who really aren't interested in hearing that a good mama doesn't care if she doesn't get more than 45 minutes of sleep at a time for the first 3 years of her child's life.  

 

I dunno, I just feel like there got to be a higher and higher bar of who belongs here, and so more and more people felt left out.  I think that if you really want to bring more traffic, you have to figure out how to not scare off the mainstream moms.  Bluntly, I think the mainstream moms are the ones who will attract advertising dollars, too.

 

And as one final thing, I wanted to say that the scaring off doesn't have to be a first impression: it can happen in retrospect too.  I have to admit that I have felt sort of betrayed by some of the advice I've received here.  For example, when I was pregnant I read so many hospital birth horror stories that I became so hysterical when they said I need a C-section that they had to give me extra sedatives.  My C section was medically necessary, I have no doubt at all about that: but at the time (and hopefully things are different now) you weren't allowed to have anything positive to say about a C here, and that made me feel hurt that my birth wasn't important unless I framed it as some sort of tragedy.  There were a few other things that happened during and right after DD's birth that I don't really want to expound on, but I'll just say that my birth and my recovery were NOTHING like what I expected from reading gere, and I am embarrassed of the way I acted and the way I treated the hospital staff.  That sort of thing makes me less likely to seek advice here in the future.

 

So that's basically why I don't really post much anymore, though I pop in every once and a while.  I think everyone always hates a redesign, and it was super slow and clunky at first, but people get used to it.  I think that MDC needs to figure out how to regain more of a "big tent" feeling along the crunchy to crunchy-mainstream spectrum.  And that's tough, because there already needs to be that atmosphere before people interested in it are comfortable enough to hang around.

post #97 of 154

I'm in a rush, so I can't say everything I want to say.  But, I agree that some sub-forums should be condensed.  I don't think all of them should be removed, but look at the last date that people posted and how many posts the forum has gotten, overall, and then start condensing.  For example, "The Case Against Circumcision" does not need any subforums.  Similarly, "Books, Music, & Other" really doesn't need subforums.  The only active one is "Television", so why not change the title of the forum to "Books, Music, Television, & Other" and just condense all of those subforums. 

 

I also think the use of the social groups for due date clubs was a disaster.  I understand wanting to keep them open indefinitely, but they aren't visible.  I think the new format for those is somewhat better, but I think online marketing suggests people aren't going to click very far to find what they want, they'll just go elsewhere.  Why not just directly link to "Social Groups" from the "Due Date" forum?  Then people will make one click and attempt to locate their due date group.


Edited by Mulvah - 5/18/12 at 8:54am
post #98 of 154

ita that many of the forums should be collapsed.  also, i'm happy that there is a cesarean forum but i do think that it'd be a good measure to collapse the birth forums together. 

post #99 of 154

i check in often but rarely post.  not a whole lot of conversation pulling me in.  i spend most of my time on a cloth diapering board

post #100 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post

I stopped posting much when I had finally had enough of the overmoderation. But I softened, and started coming back, and honestly nothing ever really grabs me.  It's not even that it's slow.  As others have said, there's actually something to be said for a site that you can keep up with without it taking over your life!  

 

When I was TTC and pregnant and had a newborn, I was scared to death because I knew nothing about babies.  I knew I didn't want to CIO, I knew that I wanted to do things as naturally as possible, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed, I knew that I wasn't going to circumcise, I knew that there was controversy about vaccines, I knew that the C section stats are too high.  I found information about all of those things here.

 

And then two problems kind of turned up.  First of all, I am all done with babies and I no longer care about any of these things.  I mean, I care in a general sense that they exist, but what was formally the most interesting conversation in the world has become the most boring.  This is not just MDC, of course: I recently went to a playgroup for babies the age of my youngest, and I was the only one with older kids.  Wow, I was DYING of boredom!  All the talk was about bowel movements and naps and whether you give a snack before the nap or after the nap.  I swear everyone debated that last one for at least half an hour!  Yet I fully realize that when my first was that age, these were the most pressing concerns in my life... so I'm not judging at all, I'm just saying that my life has gone on!  Big kid issues require more nuance and I'm not comfortable talking about most of them on the internet, and I have a much better IRL support network now that I've made friends through playgroups and through preschool.

 

The other issue is that I think that I'm more mainstream than this site, or maybe now that AP is more normal this site went more extreme.  I don't know how to say this politely, but in every issue that I think I'm pretty crunchy and that MDC can help me, I then come here and so many people seem to be living in some alternate universe from me.  And I'm glad they have MDC, but it turns me, personally, off.  For example, I homeschool but I'm constantly shocked at things I read in the homeschooling forum here.  I can't even read it anymore, because I find it so upsetting.  Most of the other major issues discussed here are the same.  I sort of agree with them, but not to the extent that is the norm here.

 

I think MDC has to decide if it wants to go more "mainstream," understanding that BFing and babywearing and gentle discipline and med-free childbirth and doulas are all now pretty mainstream concepts.  I don't think my friends are particularly crunchy, and they ALL breastfed (at least a little), and own at least an Ergo if not wraps, and exchange strategies about how to get one of the hospital birthing rooms with the jacuzzi to help naturally relieve the pain.  Or if it wants to remain true to its base, which is a bit more "fringe," and therefore likely to put off some of the more crunchy-mainstream parents who really aren't interested in hearing that a good mama doesn't care if she doesn't get more than 45 minutes of sleep at a time for the first 3 years of her child's life.  

 

I dunno, I just feel like there got to be a higher and higher bar of who belongs here, and so more and more people felt left out.  I think that if you really want to bring more traffic, you have to figure out how to not scare off the mainstream moms.  Bluntly, I think the mainstream moms are the ones who will attract advertising dollars, too.

 

And as one final thing, I wanted to say that the scaring off doesn't have to be a first impression: it can happen in retrospect too.  I have to admit that I have felt sort of betrayed by some of the advice I've received here.  For example, when I was pregnant I read so many hospital birth horror stories that I became so hysterical when they said I need a C-section that they had to give me extra sedatives.  My C section was medically necessary, I have no doubt at all about that: but at the time (and hopefully things are different now) you weren't allowed to have anything positive to say about a C here, and that made me feel hurt that my birth wasn't important unless I framed it as some sort of tragedy.  There were a few other things that happened during and right after DD's birth that I don't really want to expound on, but I'll just say that my birth and my recovery were NOTHING like what I expected from reading gere, and I am embarrassed of the way I acted and the way I treated the hospital staff.  That sort of thing makes me less likely to seek advice here in the future.

 

So that's basically why I don't really post much anymore, though I pop in every once and a while.  I think everyone always hates a redesign, and it was super slow and clunky at first, but people get used to it.  I think that MDC needs to figure out how to regain more of a "big tent" feeling along the crunchy to crunchy-mainstream spectrum.  And that's tough, because there already needs to be that atmosphere before people interested in it are comfortable enough to hang around.

I agree with a lot of what you posted here, and for me, this is why I don't post.

 

I've never felt welcome here. It was clinched early on when a mod deleted my siggy without any discussion or anything. All I had was a Taoist quote that was important to me, and I was told that it was offensive and they were deleting it. That's all. It was "Those who know do not speak, those who speak, do not know."  I love it because it reminds me to be mindful of what I say, and make sure it is worth saying.

 

I was also reading and given bad advice about birth. Everything I was told to expect when I accepted a mainstream medical model of birth turned out to be completely false. It caused a lot of unnecessary fear and anxiety on my part, and distrust of my care providers that was false. 

 

I also agree that the way we raise our babies is not an alternative method anymore. I don't know many moms who don't cosleep, breastfeed, want a natural delivery, babywear, and at least part time cloth diaper. Most parents are now scared of mainstream medicine and vaccines, as well. And these are all influences of a very outspoken community. Now that bar isn't high enough, and it makes me wonder, was the point of the AP/natural lifestyle movement strictly for the betterment of the lives of women and children, or just to appear different? Now that it is mainstream, why don't we accept all those moms to MDC as well?

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