My dd is 3 years old. I don't know how I would describe my parenting philosophies because we baby wore and dd was breastfed until 26 months but we never co-slept and she was Ferber sleep trained. As far as discipline goes, she is aware that as she is getting older there is and will be more expectations from us as far as behavior and maturity goes. We do time outs and take away toys for a few hours or maybe 24 hours depending on the situation, take away privileages and we also have a praise chart that she gets to put stickers on and she gets a little treat every time she gets 15.
I think maybe DH and I got a little lucky because she is an absolutely wonderful child. She's been sleeping from 10pm-7am since she was 5 months old, is a happy and bright child an we are now 3 months accident free on the potty training front! Woo-hoo!
Ok, now my dilemma. We go to a play group once a week and I've become good friends with one of the other moms. She practices AP/GD and loves it. She has told me that her daughter doesn't respond well to criticism so there are few consequences and mostly a lot of talking, cuddling, nurturing, etc...it sounded very nice to me but my own parenting style wasn't broke so why fix it, KWIM? She works p/t and her mom usually watches dd but her mom is now busy on Fridays and she was trying to find a solution. I volunteered to watch her for the 7 hours because it turns out we live near each other and I thought it might be good practice for dd before little bro comes into the world.
So we have been into this arrangement for 5 weeks now and OH. MY.
The little girl is a nightmare! I am so used to parenting my own mild mannered, calm child and this is throwing me for a loop. She gets dropped off around 9:30 am and the tantrum begins. Screaming, turning purple, hitting me. I know she's stressed to be in this new environment but I try giving hugs, redirecting her attention but it goes on until she wears herself out and starts demanding a snack. My dd wants no part of this early in the morning and usually stays upstairs and plays by herself lol. After awhile she warms up to the idea of playing with dd but after an hour or so the screaming begins again. Usually a sharing issue. Throwing things, hitting me and dd...she even bit dd two weeks ago! Nap time is a huge issue too. My dd takes a short nap around 2...I make her a little nap pallet in the living room and she pretends to read a book and falls asleep. Well, there is no way I'm getting this other LO down for a nap. I tried the first couple of weeks but was met with more tantrums. So now I don't force the issue but this isn't really working because she will not play quietly and will go over and poke dd or whisper in her here. It's making dd quite cranky in the afternoons.
So how do I approach this. I haven't really said anything to the mom because I don't want this to hurt our friendship. I asked her about the nap schedule and she said that she doesn't really take naps. It's only one day of the week but it's really stressing me out and I really don't want my dd picking up her bad behaviors. I think it's stressing dd too because last Thursday she looked at me sadly and said, "does ---- really have to come over tomorrow?". I am very respectful of other peoples parenting styles so how can I solve this problem in a GD way without compromising my own parenting philosophies?