or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer TTC May 2012
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Queer TTC May 2012 - Page 5

post #81 of 243

Pokey, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and DP are in my thoughts hug2.gif


Angela & Wanna, I am also super disheartened to hear the news. When it was pushed to my phone I couldn't hold back a "f*ck my life." No, I don't live in NC, but a barrier for family in one state is a barrier for us all. May all those asshole Republicans come to their senses soon enough. P.s. welcome to you Wanna. May your time here be informative and supportive.


Nos- Twins!!!??? How exciting! Congrats Mama!


AFU- DP went to the bathroom to test on 12 DPI and discovered AF. She tested anyway, but it was negative as expected. Sucks... I know we've only been at this thing for two months, but I'm also feeling pretty stressed out by all the warnings and possible things to try or not try to "help" get pregnant and stay pregnant. It's all crazy making to me. I wish we could just stop trying and then magically get pregnant. Of course this can't happen, but I find myself grieving that a lot. Do any of you feel this way too? I wish I could just get over it. I'm not straight- it won't happen naturally. End of story, right? But I'm still sad about it.


As for this cycle, I'm not sure what we'll do. We set the fertility monitor yesterday morning to Day 5, so we're just waiting till it tells us that she can pee on a stick. Our finances are totally f*ck*d from having to pay for everything for FIL's funeral and all the travel expenses. We may not have enough to even try for a couple of months, but I'm going to look at NW Cryobank now that y'all mentioned they are having a sale. 


xoxo everyone. Be back soon.

post #82 of 243

Angela, Wanna, and Soto - I'm so sorry to hear about the BFNs.


Soto, I totally hear you on grieving that it won't just magically happen for us. We can't just "relax and stop trying" as supposedly works so often for straight couples. Many times I have felt ticked off that lesbians do so many things (some needed, some maybe not) to get pregnant, like all the testing/monitoring, drugs/foods/supplements, the expense, etc. Even though I haven't used drugs yet, I've still felt like I grieved every new step  -- going from at-home insems to clinic, daily opk testing due to irregular cycle, daily temping, cervix viewing with a speculum, and now most likely starting clomid next cycle. Yet I know there's always someone who has tried longer and done more --- always someone for whom I sound innocent and idealistic in my hopes that relatively little intervention will work, just like the people who are just starting out sometimes sound innocent to me. We all hope we'll get pregnant quickly, and some do, and some don't. My best to you!

post #83 of 243
Thread Starter 

I hope your transfer goes perfect tomorrow, gloom!


MrsPP: I don't usually do heavy exercise in the 2WW but lately I don't do heavy exercise anytime! I would think for me it would be a shock to suddenly run a marathon when I'm not used to it. Unless it's really strenuous I would imagine exercise is a good idea anytime! Do what feels right to you :)


darth: Congrats to your DP on the awards :) Have fun picking out a donor and yes, perhaps the next time I'm out your way I will send you a message and we can meet up!


Angela: Weren't you just 10DPO yesterday? Too early!!


soto: Sorry about AF :( And yes, 2 months isn't a terribly long time although I know it feels like it. It will happen!


wanna: I'm sorry about the negative. I hope you don't have to order more sperm at all.



Afm: CD12 and still low on the monitor. Slightly surprising to me as I was expecting a high this morning. I've had a small amount of ewcm the last 2 nights and starting to get a bit crampy. It doesn't look like I'll O before CD16 which was my goal. Acupuncture tonight and then heading to the Black Keys concert :)

post #84 of 243

Started spotting today. I'm sorry for being so lame, everyone. I really am reading along and cheering you all on. This whole amendment battle has just completely depleted me. Maybe it's not the best month to have conceived anyway. More personals soon, I promise.

post #85 of 243

Hugs AngelaM...remember that we are all on the right side of history...and eventually such horrific amendments will be history and our grandchildren will scoff that they were ever a reality.  (I hope and pray) hug2.gif


Pokey-sorry, that sucks hug2.gif


Wanna and Soto...BFNs suck...hugs.


AFM--dw's cervical polyp removal went well and all looked good.  Then, unexpectedly, AF arrived 10 days early (24 day cycle...shortest cycle she'd ever had) so we are back in the game and she had a good baseline ultrasound today.  The doc is doubling her femara and this month we are going to do two IUI.  Fingers crossed that we'll have a valentine's baby stillheart.gif in 2013.  In the world unrelated to conception--my mom died suddenly and DS had the stomach flu.  So, the past month has been pretty horrific.  Hopefully, things will turn around soon.  

post #86 of 243

Carmen- I hope your O comes when you want it to and that you have fun at acupuncture and the concert!


outdoorsy- I get kind of bitter sometimes too about all we have to do and how much it costs.  I would love to relax and just get busy and hope for a surprise.  Oh well.  Nothing we can do about that.  I read the other boards on here and there are plenty of straight folks with access to free sperm who have a lot of trouble TTC also.  There's no real rhyme or reason to why some people get pregnant when they do and others don't.  I understand what you mean about grieving each new step.  I had wanted to do this naturally, and I kind of feel like a sell out sometimes, but it also feels nice to put things in someone else's hands too.

To answer your earlier question, I have been taking Vitex for a while.  I take the liquid 4 times a day.  I did notice changes in my cycle.  I can't remember what exactly but I think it helped improve my lining.  It takes a while to reach maximum efficacy, so the sooner the better to start.  I hadn't heard anything about not mixing it with Clomid, but I didn't ask. I took them at the same time.


Soto - I'm so sorry to hear about AF's arrival.  It stings every time.  This whole process is totally crazy-making!  I feel like each cycle is different from the last, and there are surprises around every corner.  I hope you are able to try again soon!


Angela - I'm very sorry to hear that AF is on her way! What a crappy week.  I remember how heartbroken we were when Prop 8 passed in California.  We were in mourning for a while.  I just heard that President Obama came out in support of same-sex marriage, so things may be changing sooner than we think. 


TunaQueen - Fiddlesticks, exactly!  Apparently, I have a potty mouth, so I know what you mean.  Wink wink.  Good luck finding a new donor, and I hope your break is restorative and productive. 


Wanna - I'm really sorry to hear about your BFN.  Did you test again today?  It would be awesome if it worked the first time, and sometimes it does.  Hang in there!


MrsPP - Good luck with your new cycle and on your 5k.  I believe it is fine to continue any exercise you've been doing already.  Exercise is important to staying pregnant as Krista mentioned.  I was told not to get my heart rate above 160, but that's not usually an issue for me. 


Hopeful - I'm so sorry about your BFN!  This process does wear you down, but it's early for you so don't give up yet! 


Gloomcookie -  Good luck with your FET tomorrow!  Sending sticky bean vibes your way!


mrsandmrs - I'm sorry the metformin isn't doing its job.  I hope you don't have to wait too long for the next try. 


wishin & hopin -  I'm glad the polyp removal went well and you and DP are back on track!  I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.  You have a lot to deal with right now.  Take good care.


AFM - Thank you to everyone for your sweet messages and hugs.  We needed them.  We are doing better.  Saturday night we went to the NCLR (National Center for Lesbian Rights) gala, and that is always a lot of fun.  We drank too much wine and ate some yummy food.  Jane Lynch was honored and so were 6 teenagers from Minnesota who sued their school district for not doing anything to prevent or stop anti-gay bullying.  It's so inspirational to see kids who are not afraid to be out and to speak up for themselves and their classmates.  And it's really cool to see their parents there supporting them.  Sunday the weather was great and we took it easy, but we had to close the windows because we could hear our neighbor talking about her pregnancy with a guest.  It made my wife cry.  It always breaks my heart to see her so sad.  I only told a few people but everyone has been really supportive. 

I know people often tell women who've miscarried,"Well, at least you know you can get pregnant."  It always seemed like that wouldn't be much consolation, but it kind of is a little bit.  It was nice to be pregnant at all and to see the positive test.  Of course, staying pregnant until the baby is ready to be born is the most important thing, but you can't get there without first getting pregnant.  I've been doing research but we haven't made any plans for the next cycle yet.  I looked at the calendar and it looks like I might ovulate in June around my DW's birthday.  This is awesome, but one of the people I work for is going to be out of the office 3 days that week.  He is rarely out of the office, but this is the third time he's planned a trip around my fertile time.  Crazy coincidences!  Oh well.  Who knows what will happen?  The best of luck to all of you!  We've got a few weeks left in may to have some successes! 

post #87 of 243

MtnLisa - Can we add you to graduates?

post #88 of 243
angela...such hard news in your homestate.... and extra hugs for bfn and spotting...be kind to yourself

soto... am sorry to hear you have a bfn...hang in there...and be kind to yourselves..this process is not easy

wanna....hugs ..sorry you got a bfn greensad.gif

outdoorsy...yes the costs and hoops we have to jump through seem unfair at times...

wishin....imso sorry to about your mom..were you close with her...it must be really hard.big big

i know i'm missing people but i'm.on my phone ...

afm...had my hsg today....that was not fun...didnt enjoy that one bit...but the dr said my tubes looked great, open.and clear!!!

PS... if you are on metformin and going to do hsg...you r supposed to stop metformin 3/5days before procedure...yeah no one told me that...but i chose to do hsg anyways because the risk was sooo tiny....

mrs and mrs...metformin takes three months to really start working...ive been o
n for ,7 months ..hang in there

pokey..glad to hear you r making a plan and researching !
post #89 of 243
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by wishin'&hopin' View Post


AFM--dw's cervical polyp removal went well and all looked good.  Then, unexpectedly, AF arrived 10 days early (24 day cycle...shortest cycle she'd ever had) so we are back in the game and she had a good baseline ultrasound today.  The doc is doubling her femara and this month we are going to do two IUI.  Fingers crossed that we'll have a valentine's baby stillheart.gif in 2013.  In the world unrelated to conception--my mom died suddenly and DS had the stomach flu.  So, the past month has been pretty horrific.  Hopefully, things will turn around soon.  


Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry for your loss - I don't even know what else to say! Big hugs to you hug2.gif

post #90 of 243

Thanks for the hugs.  My mother and I had the very definition of an "it's complicated" relationship.  But, regardless, it's been a rough month and I'm rather bummed she never met our son (or made it to any of the major life events I've had in the past 15 years or so...).  It's odd to not have parents anymore (my dad died in 95).

post #91 of 243

Hey Everyone,


Thanks for the support. I tested again today at 16DPO and another BFN. I'm done with testing for the month. On the bright side I had some delicious coffee this morning smile.gif My DW and I have had some sad conversations but are both trying to stay positive and cross our fingers for next month.


Hopeful: I haven't seen you on here in a few days - I hope its because you're too busy celebrating a BFP!


Good luck to the everyone still trying this month! dust.gif


Oh and Carmen could you move me to waiting to O?

post #92 of 243

Wishin- I am sorry this month has been so hard for you. I hope you are taking good care of yourself and preparing for that Valentine baby!


Wanna- Thanks for the shout out!! I am so sorry to hear that it is still a BFN. Mine was too this month. But maybe we will be cycle buddies and get our BFPs together next month!?! Coffee always makes me feel better so I am glad you got to enjoy a cup this morning. 


Cananny- Yay for open tubes. The procedure does suck but if there is any truth to the thing people say about making you more fertile, I'll take it! winky.gif


Pokey- The NCLR gala sounds fun. I am glad you and your DP got to go and enjoy yourselves. 


Angela- I am sorry that the last few days have taken so much out of you. I hope it helps even just a little to now have a president that openly supports gay marriage! 



ooh... gotta run... be back for more soon1


post #93 of 243

Hey all! Thanks so much for the thoughts and tips on exercise! I've been doing the running program now for 7 weeks and I think my body is pretty used to it by now so I will keep on keepin' on jog.gif


darth - picking a donor is pretty fun, right?! Make sure you get at least a top 5 though..more on that in the AFM...


Krista - Hi! Always nice to see you pop in. You do tri's, huh? That's amazing - I'm hoping to keep up with the distance running for awhile and eventually do a marathon but we shall see. Maybe I should do a tri too! I see you've updated your signature - June 22nd isn't that far away! Keep us posted. 


Angela - grouphug.gif I'm sorry about your BFN. And NC. Ugh.


soto - grouphug.gif to you too. I know exactly what you mean about magically getting pregnant. It's one of the things that gets me down the most out of this whole process. In the last year we've had a few friends have 'oops' babies and it's really hard to be happy for them sometimes. I want that. I want our baby to have my eyes and my partners dimples. It sucks and I totally get it. 


Carmen - how was the concert? And was it you who did a juice fast awhile back? We just got a fancy new juicer and I was contemplating doing like a 1-3 day fast - any tips/advice? And if it wasn't you - never mind :) 


wishin' - wow. I am so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts. 


pokey - Jane Lynch!! Super jealous. I got to see her speak a few years ago here in Chicago - she's a gem. Sounds like you guys had a good time. And June sounds like a great time to ttc - my birthday is in June too ;)


wanna - hug2.gifstaying positive is crucial. I know it's so hard. Sometimes I have to 'fake it til I make it', ya know? Fingers crossed for next month!


AFM - So last time we tried we ended up using a different donor all three times (slut!) for various reasons. The last guy we used was THE ONE. Like, we totally fell in love with his profile and I just knew he'd be the one we'd use until our BFP. Welllll...I emailed the bank yesterday just to double check availability and....you can see where this story is going, right? Yeah, not happening this month. CRAP. I actually took it better than expected and just started going through the catalog again - DW and I sent profiles back and forth to each other all day until we came up with a top 6! AF is due today or tomorrow and then I will call to order - who knows if we'll get #1..or 2...or 5...but at least I'll be prepared! thumb.gif

post #94 of 243

Ok I am back for more...


Soto- I know exactly what you are talking about. It really really really sucks that we can't just stop trying and get pregnant. It sucks that we have to put so much thought and time and money and energy into this every month. And like Mrs PP said- It would be so so amazing if our LO could have parts of me and parts of my DW. I know that can't happen but it doesn't stop me from wanting it. One thing that sometimes helps me when thinking about all of that is the fact that our children will never have any doubt about how much they were wanted or how much they were loved even before they existed. Its also really nice to have a place like this. I don't know if its something people who aren't in this kind of a situation can really understand. I am sorry about AF showing up. My fingers are crossed for you this next month. 


Mrs PP- We just used the last vial that was available for our guy this last month and now we are back on the drawing board to find another one. I really liked him but he won't have any more vials released until mid-summer. If you are interested at all I have a few different NW extended profiles that I wouldn't mind sharing. A few months back DesertSunsets in QP shared some of the ones they had purchased with us and I would love to pass along the good deed. PM if you are interested. 


Outdoorsy- Good luck with Comid next cycle. I hope it does the trick for you!


AFM- Could you please move me to waiting to O?? AF came yesterday. All of our family will be together over the weekend because my DW is graduating college(!) and I was really hoping it would be a BFP this month so we could tell everyone at the same time. It is very rare that all of her family and all of mine are together so I thought it was a good sign. Oh well, I am just practicing my patience! whistling.gif

post #95 of 243

Soto: I know what you mean about wanting the magical pregnancy. I've been there too. I still want a little boy or girl with DW's face and my eyes. Sigh. Also, my condolences on the loss of your FIL.


Wishin: I'm really, really about your mom. Even with a complicated relationship, it hurts. You never really do get over the feeling of not having any parents around anymore -I lost my dad in 98 and my mom in 2004 and still sometimes forget I can't just call them.


Wanna and Hopeful: I'm sorry about the BFNs!


Mrs. P: I hope you can get one of your favorite donors! That happened to us when we first started trying and we never did get our first pick.


AFM: I've had a complicated day. I went to the RE this morning and I have two GREAT follicles, one on each side. The left one is a 23 and the right one is a 16. My bloodwork indicated that I'm having a strong response -so that means a really good ovulation is on the way. Here's the problem. I'm not ovulating yet. They want me to take an OPK in the morning (I'm also taking one tonight) and if it's positive, they want me to come in tomorrow for the IUI. If not, we're supposed to do it on Monday. I'm afraid that tomorrow will be too soon if I surge in the morning and Monday will probably be too late. I expect I'll ovulate before that. I don't want to miss it and we don't want to waste all this money. We think the ideal day would be Saturday but the RE seems reluctant to do it on Saturday, even though they said they'd open on weekends if necessary. So...what do we do? Skip inseminating this month and save the sample for next month? Try anyway? This is our last IUI for a while. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

post #96 of 243

RS- Don't be afraid to stand up for what you think is best. I agree that tomorrow would probably be too early if you get a positive in the morning or even tonight. If it doesn't happen till Saturday night or Sunday then I think Monday would be ok but if they have told you that they will open on Saturday for an IUI and that is the best time for you then I think they should stick by that and open for you guys. The timing on this is so important and I would hate to see anything compromise the last try you guys have for awhile. Good Luck!

post #97 of 243

Well, I didn't get the surge this morning. There was a faint line there, but there was also a faint line there yesterday and I knew I wasn't ovulating. So, unless I get the surge in the next 12-18 hours, we're good to go for Monday. If I do, we may be SOL because I don't think they'll open for us on Sunday.


I WISH we still had a known donor. Neither one of us is comfortable using someone we don't know and our former donor was DW's brother. We would still be using him if he didn't have such abnormal sperm because we wanted the baby to be related to both of us. It's frustrating.

post #98 of 243
Thread Starter 

wishin: I know what you mean. My dad died when I was a kid and my mom in 2002 - it is an odd feeling for sure. Sometimes a complicated relationship makes a death even more complicated - I hope you find some peace with it.


wanna: Crossing my fingers right along with you. I hope you have more success next try!


MrsPP: The concert was fun! I rarely get out these days and DP and I usually have to go out with out each other while we trade off staying home with DD so it was a nice treat to go to a big fancy concert ;) I did the Wild Rose cleanse...not a juice cleanse. It's an herb cleanse and has a diet that is recommended but it's not terribly restrictive - lots of fruit, veggies, fish and even some carbs. Basically nothing processing, sugar or dairy. I've done it several times in the past - usually about once a year or so. Good luck finding a donor!


Hopeful: Sorry about the negative. Have fun at your DP's graduation!


rs: Yikes, timing like that stresses me out! I hope it works out.



Afm: I'm on CD14 and day 2 of high on the monitor. I've been having small amounts of ewcm every night for 3 or 4 nights now. I'm guessing I'll O on Sunday or Monday. KD is on stand by but has a busy weekend so I hope it works out!

post #99 of 243

Wishin - I am so, so sorry about your mom. I hope you find peace.


AFM - a small news item. The midwife I spoke to recently checked with the head midwife and then called back re my double LH surge this month. In addition to starting clomid for the first time, they are now recommending that I get a CD3 blood test for FSH and estradiol -- finally! So that's the plan. They've recommended days 5-10 for the clomid due to my long cycles, though they say the clomid may make me O earlier than normal.

post #100 of 243

Drive by update! I called to place our order today (yay, CD1!) armed with my list of possible choices and we got.....drumroll.....bachelor #1! Yay! I was kind of shocked that I didn't have to go down my list at all. And I'm now drinking a cup of tea that has a little message on the tag - today it says "Chances multiply if you grab them" - hmmm...twins? winky.gif

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Queer Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer TTC May 2012