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~~~~~ May Pagan Family Thread ~~~~~ - Page 2

post #21 of 143

i teach them stories out of the bible. esp the historically supported ones. the ones they actually have evidence that it happened. and i liked what jesus taught too. but i always make sure they know that to me he was a person etc. and these are just stories we can learn from, just like the stories about the buddha, stories about ancient mythology, etc.

post #22 of 143

HOLY MOLY, MAMAS!  I feel like this thread is boppin' right now and I love it!!  love.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

rtunately, the rodent problem in my building continues. Their squeaking woke me this morning and I saw one run across the bedroom floor. I wish they'd at least stay out of the bedroom: no one is allowed to eat here anyway.

 

your last comment here made me giggle.  I'm sorry you have such a bad problem there.  Is there any kind of laws being broken there - something you could call code enforcement for??  

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View Post

Happy Beltane! And Happy Anniversaries to all who are celebrating one! Today is my birthday! Lots of fun and excitement for everyone right now! Hooray!

Happy Birthday!!!!!  I love birthdays and agree with DoK - celebrate all week!! wahooo!!! joy.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

I think I am going to bring a "Chopped Salad" which has things like blue cheese, bubbled egg, bacon, with a green salad. Then I can have it, too. Often I bring things that I can't eat, and I bring my own food so I don't have to be tempted by potluck things.

 

 

I swear, Maia, I gain weight just reading your posts half the time!  what the heck is a bubbled egg?  Whatever, anything with bacon is delicious.  mmmmmmmm.  

 

 

Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

Oh, I also wanted your opinions on something, ladies. While I was sorting through our assortment of kid books, I came across an Advent book (the kind with nightly stories leading up to Christmas) and a children's Bible stories book. I can't decide if I should toss them or not. Well, the Advent book I'm pretty sure will be sold. But the Bible stories may be handy. Fact of the matter is, most people and the entirety of our extended family is Christian. It would be helpful to have a book around to teach my kids the stories from the Bible esp since those stories are considered universal (*sigh*). It could be like teaching another culture's mythology. 

 

But, on the flip side, I'm not sure I want it around. We aren't Christian and, frankly, its confusing enough trying to teach Paganism and all of its ins and outs to kids without introducing yet another mythology. Plus, I don't really like the Bible or most of its stories. Never have. Should I teach my kids stories I don't like about a religion I don't believe in or agree with just so they can fit in more? Or am I doing them a disservice and withholding useful information by not teaching it to them??

 

Ugh, my head hurts now. I think I'm thinking about this waaaay too hard. uhoh3.gif Opinions??! Help!! 

I totally feel you on the families being weird at birthday parties.  My mom and dad were divorced in 2002 and they have not spoken since... which is AWESOME rolleyes.gif -- but I told DH I REFUSE to have separate parties on behalf of their weirdness so I have Z's party at a park under a big, very rain friendly shelter.  THANK THE HEAVENS she was born in May!!  I also invite a bunch of our framily (friends that are family, get it? haha) to dilute the folks.  So far both last year's party and her baby blessing went alright.  *sigh* 

 

As for the Bible stories book: for me it would all depend on what Bible stories they are and what the message is.  There are lots of great parables and stories like LM said.  I want Z to know about the major stories and beliefs in major religions because they do have an impact on our society and how people perceive the world.  Nerd alert: it's also been very helpful in my literature studies.  However, in her early years I'm not going to get too in to it.  I think it would just confuse her, like you said.  We'll just stick to nature worship for now.  :)  

 

IN SUMMARY: (haha) IMHO: Keep it if you like the overall message in the stories - Sell it if it's too preachy.  You can always find another Bible story book that has more universal/less Jesus Saves message. 

 

mama3mary: I agree I LOVE may!  June is my favorite here in Upstate NY.  and October but that's likely due to my Libra-ness having to have balance (and it's my birth month) To me it's like even if it rains a lot in May it's still MAY.  The peeks of sunshine are warm when the rain does end - things are in bloom - it's just lovely.  

 

It did stop raining long enough for us to go gather dandelions to make our own massage oil (thanks for the idea, revolting).  Today we will try again to make our fairy looms.  If nothing else I'll drag the sticks up onto the porch to dry!!  Hope everyone else is drying out!! 

post #23 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

Yes, yes it was. I ended up driving through some of it to take my dad to physical therapy. Oh holy great wow did it SUCK! 40mph in a 55, wipers on full tilt and still couldn't see more than 2 ft in front of me. I was glad to be home after that. I didn't see anything about the flooding, yikes! I will have to look it up! 

 

May is pretty awesome usually. I think my favorite April was the year my DD was born, and not only because she was born in it. winky.gif Sunny, mid 70s and green. I'm hoping that May is like that since this April was a wash.

 

DD had a fantastic birthday weekend. We went to the children's museum and spent the day there. It was a lot of fun. Saw a Maiasaura on display. thumb.gif And we got to "visit Egypt" and do all sorts of other fun and nifty things. Parties with grandparents this weekend (my mom doesn't exactly play nice with, well, anyone, so we have to do a party for my parents and then one for DH's side to avoid conflict and embarrassment eyesroll.gif). Hopefully she doesn't get too  much in the way of toys, we are beyond capacity already.

 

Speaking of which, it is finally time for garage sales! I'm pulling out all of the junk that's been stuffed into closets, pricing it and getting it the heck out of here! I can't wait, it will be so liberating. orngbiggrin.gif And it will hopefully put a nice chunk of change in our pocket, too. thumb.gif Hmm, I wonder if there is a spell I could do to make the rummage sales prosperous? I will have to look into that. 

 

I saw that today is International Pagan Coming Out Day. Anyone coming out today?

 

April totally disappointed me after that beautiful, beautiful May. I hope this May is nice. I'm still hoping for an early strawberry picking trip: I already have green strawberries getting pretty big on my plants.

 

I have always been on the fence about having two birthday parties for my kids with different sides of the family. My in-laws and my family don't get along. (I don't get along with my in-laws either.) Every year, we have the party, and the whole time I feel panicky. I hate their birthday party because of it.

 

I want to have a garage sale this year. Oh man, do I want to get rid of stuff. We are also hoping to find a bunk bed at a garage sale. I'm hoping to kick my two year old out of my bed before the new baby comes.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

Oh, I also wanted your opinions on something, ladies. While I was sorting through our assortment of kid books, I came across an Advent book (the kind with nightly stories leading up to Christmas) and a children's Bible stories book. I can't decide if I should toss them or not. Well, the Advent book I'm pretty sure will be sold. But the Bible stories may be handy. Fact of the matter is, most people and the entirety of our extended family is Christian. It would be helpful to have a book around to teach my kids the stories from the Bible esp since those stories are considered universal (*sigh*). It could be like teaching another culture's mythology. 

 

But, on the flip side, I'm not sure I want it around. We aren't Christian and, frankly, its confusing enough trying to teach Paganism and all of its ins and outs to kids without introducing yet another mythology. Plus, I don't really like the Bible or most of its stories. Never have. Should I teach my kids stories I don't like about a religion I don't believe in or agree with just so they can fit in more? Or am I doing them a disservice and withholding useful information by not teaching it to them??

 

Ugh, my head hurts now. I think I'm thinking about this waaaay too hard. uhoh3.gif Opinions??! Help!! 

It depends on how the Bible Stories are written. I like reading mythology to my kids, be it from Hinduism, Christianity, fairy tales from all over the world. I think some Bible story collections do a great job at presenting the stories as stories, and some don't. I don't think it's any more confusing for my five year old than reading Harry Potter (even though it portrays an inaccurate idea of what being a witch is).

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

It did stop raining long enough for us to go gather dandelions to make our own massage oil (thanks for the idea, revolting).  Today we will try again to make our fairy looms.  If nothing else I'll drag the sticks up onto the porch to dry!!  Hope everyone else is drying out!! 

 

Everything is still icky and wet here. We might try fairy looms again next week: the weather forecast suggests that it's gonna be icky all week, and I need new shoes: the only shoes I have that don't have holes in them at this point are converses, which is so not fun to be outside on a rainy day in. I'm hoping it dries up by Sun: there's fire spinning and drumming near the lake to celebrate the full moon during the warmer months of the year; this will be the first one of the year, and I'm so excited!

 

And yes, the whole mouse infestation thing violates the laws according to the city's housing authority, but I don't have it in me to try to take these guys to court. I wish I did, but I don't. They won't even just let us out of our lease. In three months, though, our lease will be up, and we're moving one way or another. We're hoping to buy a house (since the rental market is so horrible right now that rent payment is about equal to a mortgage payment on a small fixer-upper), but if not, we're rent somewhere else. I just can't wait until those three months are over, though finding an alternative stresses me out.


Edited by revolting - 5/2/12 at 11:16am
post #24 of 143

Thanks for all the birthday well wishes! I agree, I need to celebrate all week. My parents got nasty at the birthday dinner they took me to last night, so I at LEAST need a do-over. I never even made my birthday cake!

 

3X - It is SO time for a garage sale! I wish I had more energy to put into it. DH and I have been going back and forth about whether we should have one before the baby gets here (June). I've been going room by room and putting more and more things up in the attic on the garage sale half of the room. Part of me thinks that we should get our butts in gear, but the other part of me says oh no, I'm just so big and round... maybe I should just eat something instead.

 

About those bible stories, there's a thread over in religious studies that you might find interesting. Although I might have killed it... lol: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1351601/grandma-wants-to-buy-my-daughter-a-childrens-bible/0_50 I'm still struggling on how much I want to teach my 4 year old about religion, and where does religion stop and mythology begin. Like I have an awesome book of Greek Mythology for kids that has cool pictures and everything. But, I don't ascribe to a Greek tradition, and it mentions different gods and goddesses (obviously). And if you read my post in that other thread where I say that I have no problem with the bible stories as stories, then I should have no problem with the Greek mythology as stories. All of it just makes me kinda hinky. I really don't want to "force" any sort of beliefs on my DD.

 

Revolting - Ooh! Strawberry picking. I wish there was a place to do that around here. I know there's a few u-pick farms, but I need to look into them and see what they offer. There's a lavender farm not too too far from me that I've been to. That was a blast. DD ran through the lavender fields like crazy, and I made little sachets for the cars, closets, and a couple to hang up in the kitchen. Hrmm. Wonder when they open?

post #25 of 143
Revolting-- UGH about your rodent problem! M just had a mouse issue. He was getting them in snap-traps and when he told his landlord about it, the landlord did not come in to take care of it OR buy the traps, which I would have insisted on, but he told M to watch for the size of the mouse getting smaller. He said when the parents have died, the babies come out to fend for themselves, and the problem goes away. He appears to be right-- M caught a bunch of mice, they got smaller, he hasn't seen one in days.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary3mama View PostI am sooooo happy to be greeting May. It is one of my favorite months of the year -- sunshine without (usually at least) too much heat. thumb.gif

 

I wish. This week is all in the mid 80s! I hope to HECK it is not like last year. When I first moved out here, in 2003, we had four equal seasons. We had about 2 weeks of unbearable in July or August, 90* or above. Last year it was well over 85* or 90* all.summer.long. Starting in May and it was relentless till mid-September.

Then again, I'll be happy to be in MA by midsummer!

 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3xMama View PostSaw a Maiasaura on display. thumb.gif

 

I saw that today is International Pagan Coming Out Day. Anyone coming out today?

 

How fun, on the Maia!

I've been "out" for years. I've got that "Not-give-a-shit-bone" that grows in around 40ish years old and I don't care who knows what about me, pretty much orngbiggrin.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View PostBut, on the flip side, I'm not sure I want it around. We aren't Christian and, frankly, its confusing enough trying to teach Paganism and all of its ins and outs to kids without introducing yet another mythology. Plus, I don't really like the Bible or most of its stories. Never have. Should I teach my kids stories I don't like about a religion I don't believe in or agree with just so they can fit in more? Or am I doing them a disservice and withholding useful information by not teaching it to them??

 

Ugh, my head hurts now. I think I'm thinking about this waaaay too hard. uhoh3.gif Opinions??! Help!! 

 

I think that depends on the ages of your kids. If they are younger, no. Let them go. They'll find out about other religions in due time. If they're older, enlist their opinions. But if you don't want to, don't!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by vydalea View PostI also invite a bunch of our framily

 

Framily-- LOVE it! So stealing that!

 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by revolting View PostWe're hoping to buy a house (since the rental market is so horrible right now that rent payment is about equal to a mortgage payment on a small fixer-upper), but if not, we're rent somewhere else. I just can't wait until those three months are over, though finding an alternative stresses me out.

 

Got a sweet little house in Asheville, NC! winky.gif Cheap, too!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View PostPart of me thinks that we should get our butts in gear, but the other part of me says oh no, I'm just so big and round... maybe I should just eat something instead.

 

All of it just makes me kinda hinky. I really don't want to "force" any sort of beliefs on my DD.

 

Maybe I should just eat something instead biglaugh.gif

 

You're not "forcing", you are parenting! She will figure out her own way, despite you, at some age or other! Which is my roundabout way of saying I think parents SHOULD bring a child up in their religion (or no religion if that's what they do). I can't stand this-- what seems to be a general Pagan way, now-- of "I'm going to expose my kid to all religions so s/he can choose"-- I think that's only confusing them, and they will choose their own, regardless of us, right?

I've brought my boy up Pagan. We go to the UU (well, we have majorly slacked off lately). They get exposed to UU concepts AND lots of religions, there. He is interested in Christianity, but I think he's coming around to Paganism again. He's 11. It's his life and his mind-- I will support his choices, and help him (like, if it means he gets serious about Christianity and can't drive yet, I will take him to church if he wants to go). I would love for him to be Pagan, but if I force ritual on him, it's the fastest way to make a Fundie out of him lol.gif So no, at about 8 years old I stopped "forcing" him, but when he was younger? You betcha I did.

 

I don't know why I haven't been getting notifications. I'm subbed!

 

I had SUCH a great day today. I miss my ds terribly, but I can't believe how quiet it is around here, and without the interruptions of his day-to-day, and having to drop him/get him from school, and all his activities, and losing sleep because he loses sleep, and the feeling of urgency around a typical day-- I had a hugely uninterrupted sleep last night, and such an easy day, even though I did a ton of chores...I feel marvelous.

 

I only really wish I had not canceled my plans to go see M this week. This has been WAY too long.

post #26 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

You're not "forcing", you are parenting! She will figure out her own way, despite you, at some age or other! Which is my roundabout way of saying I think parents SHOULD bring a child up in their religion (or no religion if that's what they do). I can't stand this-- what seems to be a general Pagan way, now-- of "I'm going to expose my kid to all religions so s/he can choose"-- I think that's only confusing them, and they will choose their own, regardless of us, right?

 

Yeah, see this is where it gets weird for me. I have a system of beliefs... what I'm lacking in is a system of practices. There is only one option for pagans in my community, and they're of a trad I don't ascribe to in the least, and tbh the people that I've met from that coven are pretty creepy. I wish we had something like UU in my area. I would love the fellowship. It's been hard to really dig my heels in and really "do" the solitary thing as well.

 

While I may acknowledge to myself that it's a full moon, it's not like I'm gonna light the firepit and hold an esbat ritual by myself. It feels artificial, and then it takes away time from family. DH is not pagan, and I get weird-ed out thinking that he's gonna want to watch me going through a ritual just so he can see what it's all about. Then I get all self-conscious about speaking aloud in my backyard, cause if it's not DH watching through the window, then the creepy neighbor will be peeking through the fence slats from his post on his back porch. Sooo.... to sum up, I've really let my practices fall by the wayside over the last few years.

 

I guess that's one of the reasons I joined on this thread was for some accountability. The last few months I've been trying to bring back some spirituality into my life. So far this has involved doing a simple re-dedication ritual in the dark of my bedroom one night after DH fell asleep on the couch, putting my altar back together, doing the treasure map this year, and reading some of my religious books. I have Family Wicca, Celebrating the Great Mother, and Pagan Parenting, so it's not like I don't know that there are many different ways to raise a pagan kid. It just feels like... how do I begin to bring my kid up pagan when I can't even find my own way to practice paganism. IDK.. It's something I'm working on for sure.

 

And I totally agree with you about exposing them (kiddos) to everything. I don't want to say God with a capital G one day, and then gods and goddesses the next, and then Buddha the next, etc. I DO think that's confusing to a kid. I do want to make all of those available to her when she starts questioning and searching for herself, but for now I really wish I had a clear way to parent her with my own beliefs. I just haven't found my way with that yet. And, I'm not sure yet how I want to approach other belief systems yet. I don't want to say "they're wrong!" or anything like that. (I don't believe that anyway... I'm more of a "many paths up the mountain" kinda gal.) But, then if I do my thing of saying "Well, I believe this, and other people believe that and that and that. What do you think?" doesn't that just go back to being confusing? nut.gif It would be so much easier all around if there was just a coven, or a circle, or a service, or a meeting, or something that we could just go to that just served up paganism in a basic format.

post #27 of 143
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

We went to the children's museum and spent the day there. It was a lot of fun. Saw a Maiasaura on display. thumb.gif And we got to "visit Egypt" and do all sorts of other fun and nifty things. 

 

 

The Children's Museum is such an excellent resource for us local families! I feel bad for the kids that only get to go once a year or who only get to go as a part of a school field trip. 

 

That said, my kids have totally outgrown it. Sucks. I have awesome memories of taking the kids there and staying all day. Now? My 5 year old would like to stay for hours but the boys (12.5 & 8.5) are over it after about 1-2 hours.

 

They do love the Egypt exhibit and the top floor of dinosphere -- which they call their 'art school' because they do drawing and sculpting for a long time

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

It would be helpful to have a book around to teach my kids the stories from the Bible esp since those stories are considered universal (*sigh*). It could be like teaching another culture's mythology. 

 

We do what I'd call Comparative Mythology all the time around here. I don't discount the biblical stories at all, but I also don't put them on a higher pedestal than other stories/mythologies. The kids know -- at whatever level is appropriate for each one of them -- that Christianity is so much of a majority religion here as to be accepted as 'everyone's religion' and they know that this is not necessarily true. 

 

We've talked lots over the years about accepting that people come from a variety of different ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds and that it is a good and proper thing to accept that.

 

All that said -- we've never had a bible in the house. But then we don't have holy books from any of the other religions/mythologies. 

 

As for the stories -- the kids pretty much get a really good perspective and context about the main & culturally pervasive biblical stories from Veggie Tales. orngbiggrin.gif

post #28 of 143
Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View PostYeah, see this is where it gets weird for me. I have a system of beliefs... what I'm lacking in is a system of practices.

 

I see what you mean. Your explanation totally makes sense. Do you want to brainstorm on-thread?

 

So...your dd is four? And you have one due, yes? What religion (if any) is your DH? Is he hostile to Paganism or just curious or noncommittal at all?

 

What I am thinking is this. Your dd is only 4. Looking back to when mine was 4...you have PLENTY of time. Plenty. Probably about 2-3 years at least, to get something down if you want to impart a personal belief to your kid before she starts with "What do YOU believe?" and really? With mine, I was like "Well...my beliefs aren't really cemented" lol.gif

And I think being honest about "some people believe this, while others believe that" isn't confusing like actually GOING to these places, as if it's your "belief of the week". I knew one mom who decided her way of teaching religions was to BE each thing, for a year. Now that would be confusing to me! And she's Pagan! Why not just raise the kid Pagan, y'know?


I think what you oughtta do is read, read, read to your kid. Lots and lots of stories. You can explore your own beliefs along the way! I think kid books are wonderful resources for adults. They're simplified, y'know? My mom takes this Bible study class (I was like "Finally!", lol, if  you are going to be a Christian, you oughtta know your holy book, eh?) and she was confused about one of the lessons, and I said "Why don't you read it out of ds's Bible?" and she did and it cleared it right up lol.gif

 

Anyway if you read to her, you'll be learning right along with. I'm sure there are lots and lots of "mythology" books for kids orngbiggrin.gif

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by mary3mama View Post

We do what I'd call Comparative Mythology all the time around here. I don't discount the biblical stories at all, but I also don't put them on a higher pedestal than other stories/mythologies. The kids know -- at whatever level is appropriate for each one of them -- that Christianity is so much of a majority religion here as to be accepted as 'everyone's religion' and they know that this is not necessarily true. 

 

We've talked lots over the years about accepting that people come from a variety of different ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds and that it is a good and proper thing to accept that.

 

All that said -- we've never had a bible in the house. But then we don't have holy books from any of the other religions/mythologies. 

 

As for the stories -- the kids pretty much get a really good perspective and context about the main & culturally pervasive biblical stories from Veggie Tales. orngbiggrin.gif


This is wonderful, Mary, and so well-rounded. Good mama! love.gif DS is aware like that, too. We do have Bibles in the house (remember when my mom got him that kid one?). Mine, I have two, one was a gift from a dear friend, and one I bought my ownself because it's a Catholic one.

We also have other books but not holy books, just "mythology" ones (put in quotes because it really jerks my chain that anyone would consider holy stories from another culture as "myths").

post #29 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post
 I'm hoping to kick my two year old out of my bed before the new baby comes.

 

Everything is still icky and wet here. We might try fairy looms again next week: the weather forecast suggests that it's gonna be icky all week, and I need new shoes: the only shoes I have that don't have holes in them at this point are converses, which is so not fun to be outside on a rainy day in. I'm hoping it dries up by Sun: there's fire spinning and drumming near the lake to celebrate the full moon during the warmer months of the year; this will be the first one of the year, and I'm so excited!

 

And yes, the whole mouse infestation thing violates the laws according to the city's housing authority, but I don't have it in me to try to take these guys to court. I wish I did, but I don't. They won't even just let us out of our lease. In three months, though, our lease will be up, and we're moving one way or another. We're hoping to buy a house (since the rental market is so horrible right now that rent payment is about equal to a mortgage payment on a small fixer-upper), but if not, we're rent somewhere else. I just can't wait until those three months are over, though finding an alternative stresses me out.

Okay, so our 2 y.o. is also in our bed... and I love it.  and I don't.  KWIM?  It makes me sad to think that once she's out she's out forever. I know how much better I sleep when she's not in the bed... Anyway, I see that you have an older child so you probably have experience in this transition.  How are you planning to transition your 2yo??  I'm thinking by the time Z is 3 it will be time... I would totally value your insight.

 

I wish I lived near you so I could participate in the drumming/fire spinning! It sounds lovely.  

 

It's too freaking bad you can't just make one phone call to a code enforcer saying your rights are being violated as a tenant and have them take care of this rather than having to do it yourself through court.  I'm sorry, but that's simply BS what the F is the housing authority there for if they aren't going to enforce?  Sorry to rant, I'm just ticked for you.  No one should have to deal with that.  *Grumble!* irked.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
. I've got that "Not-give-a-shit-bone" that grows in around 40ish years old and I don't care who knows what about me, pretty much orngbiggrin.gif

 

 We go to the UU (well, we have majorly slacked off lately). They get exposed to UU concepts AND lots of religions, there. He is interested in Christianity, but I think he's coming around to Paganism again. He's 11.

 

I don't know why I haven't been getting notifications. I'm subbed!

 

I had SUCH a great day today. I miss my ds terribly, but I can't believe how quiet it is around here, and without the interruptions of his day-to-day, and having to drop him/get him from school, and all his activities, and losing sleep because he loses sleep, and the feeling of urgency around a typical day-- I had a hugely uninterrupted sleep last night, and such an easy day, even though I did a ton of chores...I feel marvelous.

 

I only really wish I had not canceled my plans to go see M this week. This has been WAY too long.

I would like my Not-give a shit bone" early.  I'm trying to exercise it more so it becomes stronger.  

 

UU religious instruction sounds great for Zoey but I don't know that I want to be part of the congregation.  I do have to say, though, every week the local UU church has their sermon/lecture "theme" or what have you on the board outside and it always sounds very interesting.  What do you make of it?  Since Z is 2 I know I have some time but I'd like to have some direction.  

 

Good to hear that you are enjoying your time alone.  It's got to be nice to have your own time to breathe. 

 

I totally relate to much of your post, MamaIntheDesert!  I keep telling myself that the learning curve is practicing.

 

We were able to make our fairy loom yesterday.  Z squealed she was so excited about it.  haha.  If I think of it I will post a picture when I upload them.  :)  

post #30 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View Post

Thanks for all the birthday well wishes! I agree, I need to celebrate all week. My parents got nasty at the birthday dinner they took me to last night, so I at LEAST need a do-over. I never even made my birthday cake!

 

3X - It is SO time for a garage sale! I wish I had more energy to put into it. DH and I have been going back and forth about whether we should have one before the baby gets here (June). I've been going room by room and putting more and more things up in the attic on the garage sale half of the room. Part of me thinks that we should get our butts in gear, but the other part of me says oh no, I'm just so big and round... maybe I should just eat something instead.

 

LOL. I had a garage sale before my second was born. I'm glad I did. Too bad about your birthday. And what's a birthday without cake? yummy.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

I had a hugely uninterrupted sleep last night, and such an easy day, even though I did a ton of chores...I feel marvelous.

 

 

Yay for sleep, though I got to say, that you are still sleep deprived with an 11 year old doesn' t bode well for me.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

Okay, so our 2 y.o. is also in our bed... and I love it.  and I don't.  KWIM?  It makes me sad to think that once she's out she's out forever. I know how much better I sleep when she's not in the bed... Anyway, I see that you have an older child so you probably have experience in this transition.  How are you planning to transition your 2yo??  I'm thinking by the time Z is 3 it will be time... I would totally value your insight.

 

UU religious instruction sounds great for Zoey but I don't know that I want to be part of the congregation.  I do have to say, though, every week the local UU church has their sermon/lecture "theme" or what have you on the board outside and it always sounds very interesting.  What do you make of it?  Since Z is 2 I know I have some time but I'd like to have some direction.  

 

Well, this is what I did with my eldest: When my second came along, we tried the whole family bed thing. She was almost three at the time, and she still nursed at night. With my milk coming in, suddently she was wetting the bed all the time (when previously she hadn't wet the bed since she was less than two), and no one was getting any sleep. So, we abruptly night weaned her and transitioned her to a bed away from me. She wouldn't sleep by herself initially, so we started with having my partner sleep with her. Gradually, he stopped sleeping with her. She had an early bedtime than us, so even when before he stopped sleeping with her, we had started to talk about what she should do if she woke up to comfort herself back to sleep. We'd tell her that she needed to drink some water, try to use the bathroom, adjust her covers, and cuddle her doll. If she still couldn't get back to sleep, she could come get Daddy. Sometime before she was four, she was sleeping by herself almost every night. We didn't announce it. He just stopped going to sleep in her bed unless she came and got him, and eventually she pretty much stopped asking.

 

I don't know exactly how things will work with my second. He is already night weaned, and he sleeps better at night than my eldest did at that age. He also has an early bedtime, but if he wakes (which is more rare), he doesn't soothe himself yet, but because he wakes less frequently, I'm sort of hoping that if I move him to his own bed, most nights he'll just sleep through the night. If not, my partner will sleep with him and we'll work on teaching him to soothe himself at night. He's a lot less verbal than my eldest at this age, so teaching him that seems like a more daunting project, but while I prefer my partner to sleep with me, I just want him sleeping somewhere other than with me and the new baby come this winter. I don't know how helpful that is for a home with an only child.

post #31 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostUU religious instruction sounds great for Zoey but I don't know that I want to be part of the congregation.  I do have to say, though, every week the local UU church has their sermon/lecture "theme" or what have you on the board outside and it always sounds very interesting.  What do you make of it?  Since Z is 2 I know I have some time but I'd like to have some direction. 

 

The services are pretty interesting, usually. I've been going since ds was a baby, so sometimes I get over them-- too lofty-service-helpful....I don't know that I can make sense here. They're very inspiring but sometimes they make me feel inadequate. Most of the people there are old, white, have lots of money and time to go off galavanting around the globe reconstructing towns that have had earthquakes or tsunamis or hurricanes. I have enough on my plate just being a single mama.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostYay for sleep, though I got to say, that you are still sleep deprived with an 11 year old doesn' t bode well for me.

 

Yikes, sorry! redface.gif He's a very high-need child, if that makes you feel any better. He sleeps alone, but often begs to sleep with me (we stopped cosleeping when he was around 7 or 8yo), or he gets up to pee and just lets the toilet lid drop-- it sounds like a bomb. I'm sure it wakes people up in the next county. I sleep with a fan and the door closed and it makes me jump right out of my skin, from a sound sleep.  Or he has sleep issues and you know how misery loves company-- he has to wake me up to let me know he can't sleep irked.gif

post #32 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View PostYeah, see this is where it gets weird for me. I have a system of beliefs... what I'm lacking in is a system of practices.

 

I see what you mean. Your explanation totally makes sense. Do you want to brainstorm on-thread?

 

So...your dd is four? And you have one due, yes? What religion (if any) is your DH? Is he hostile to Paganism or just curious or noncommittal at all?

 

I'd love to brainstorm. Yes, DD is 4 and I have a son due at the end of June.

 

DH is Christian, but he's not overly religious. He has an extensive knowledge of the Bible, and therefore has a big problem with a lot of churches because they neither follow the spirit nor the letter of God as presented in the Bible. He doesn't really have any set practices that follow his beliefs either. DH I would say is incredibly interested and curious about Paganism. His only connection with it in the past was the kid in all black back in middle school that used to steal locks of people's hair and put "curses" on people. Yeah. So, when we got to the religion questions at the beginning stages of our relationship I spent a lot of time dispelling misconceptions, outlining basic belief structures of various traditions, and explaining where I stood with my own beliefs. He got a little overzealous and wanted to talk to others about it to bounce off these new ideas he was receiving, and that involved a lot of backlash. For example, members of the church he attended (5-6 years previous) began texting him and telling him that they heard his new girlfriend was a satan worshiper and he was going to hell. Yay! Living in the Bible Belt is fun! eyesroll.gif Since then he's calmed down, with the "sharing" aspect of learning about Paganism. He actually really supports me with incorporating more of my spirituality into my life. When I set up my altar again, he had a lot of questions, but they were inquisitive not accusatory.

 

However, when it comes to religious instruction of the kids then things get a little shaky. See, he feels that if we're going to raise the kids with any sort of religion then it needs to be both of our religions. I think it was back in February or March when this thread was discussing involving more prayer and daily religious interaction with our kids. I pulled out a book that had prayers and quotes from many different cultures and beliefs (Earth Prayers). The intention was to read one (picked at random) aloud every night before dinner. The first one I picked was very Goddess oriented, which prompted DH to ask if he and his beliefs would be represented in our dinner prayers as well. I showed him that there were several Bible passages in the book as well. We brought up the "confusing the kids" issue. And, well, the conversation continued throughout dinner and well into the night. Basically, how he feels is that there needs to be balance and fairness when it comes to religious instruction with the kids. If we're just sharing our beliefs, then that's one thing, but if we're instructing them then it's another. So, for him, this "balance" is a one-to-one thing. It's not enough that there are some Bible passages in the book I presented that may take months before we pick them. Basically, one night I should be responsible for prayer that represents my religious foundations, and the next night he should be responsible for prayer that represents his. If I teach DD the chant "We all Come from the Goddess" then he should be able to teach her "Father Abraham." I mentioned wishing there was a family or children's circle that I could take DD to. He said that he would then love to take her to Sunday School as well. And so on and so on.

 

It's not that I entirely disagree with him. I see his point about us being equally responsible for our children's upbringing, and not wanting to discount either parent or their beliefs. In theory it sounds really nice: "I'll teach them what I believe, and you teach them what you believe, and they'll have a varied and rich foundation of religious background that will serve them when they go to choose their own religious path in life." In reality though, I think it looks more like: "Mom and Dad (in DD's case, step-dad) have different beliefs. If I follow one or the other belief then I'll make the opposite parent sad. Both religions seem really confusing and contradictory. I have no sense of identity. I don't even want to talk about religion any more." But when you look at the arguments of "Balanced, fair, mutual spiritual growth" vs. "Confusing and possibly alienating." I think that he wins by a landslide. It's not like he wants to rush out and take them to church because that's what he feels he should do. He just thinks that if I'm going to step up and start introducing the kids to a spiritual life, then he needs to take an active role AS WELL. So... this has contributed to the lack of moving forward with making my life more spiritual because I don't want to make it more confusing on the kiddos.

 

Added is all the self-conscious things I mentioned in my previous post. I think it's awesome that he wants to know more about my religious views and practices. But the flip side of it is that it's pretty intimidating to get a round of 20 questions if I pull out my tarot cards or say "Honey can you watch DD for 20 minutes in the morning while I do a little meditation and reflection." There's that energy floating around in the background that is like "What are you doing? How is this being interpreted? Am I going to have to answer for this?" Again, I want to re-iterate that DH is doing NOTHING wrong what-so-ever. I just have my own hang ups about it, and then feeling "studied" makes it feel even more out of place for me to be bringing spirituality into our home.

 

Oy... sorry for the novel! redface.gif

post #33 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View PostIf we're just sharing our beliefs, then that's one thing, but if we're instructing them then it's another. So, for him, this "balance" is a one-to-one thing. It's not enough that there are some Bible passages in the book I presented that may take months before we pick them. Basically, one night I should be responsible for prayer that represents my religious foundations, and the next night he should be responsible for prayer that represents his. If I teach DD the chant "We all Come from the Goddess" then he should be able to teach her "Father Abraham." I mentioned wishing there was a family or children's circle that I could take DD to. He said that he would then love to take her to Sunday School as well. And so on and so on.

 

 

In theory it sounds really nice: "I'll teach them what I believe, and you teach them what you believe, and they'll have a varied and rich foundation of religious background that will serve them when they go to choose their own religious path in life." In reality though, I think it looks more like: "Mom and Dad (in DD's case, step-dad) have different beliefs. If I follow one or the other belief then I'll make the opposite parent sad. Both religions seem really confusing and contradictory. I have no sense of identity. I don't even want to talk about religion any more." But when you look at the arguments of "Balanced, fair, mutual spiritual growth" vs. "Confusing and possibly alienating." I think that he wins by a landslide. It's not like he wants to rush out and take them to church because that's what he feels he should do. He just thinks that if I'm going to step up and start introducing the kids to a spiritual life, then he needs to take an active role AS WELL. So... this has contributed to the lack of moving forward with making my life more spiritual because I don't want to make it more confusing on the kiddos.

 

You know what, though-- having a kid who's 11, and not 4 anymore...maybe I can offer some insight, I dunno. I have been a single parent pretty much from the get-go, but from when my son was 2yo through when he was 8yo, we had a babysitter who's a Baptist preacher's daughter. Talk about diametrically opposed! And while she didn't "teach" her religion to my son-- I expressly forbade that-- I'm sure he picked up on some stuff. AND the UU teaches different religions. He didn't grow up confused.

 

I don't really think your dd will, either, if you and DH do what you say, above, each teach her your own things.

I think at 4, she will not really think so much as accept. You know, "this is how it is in our household" and really, she'll probably think everybody does it the way you do it, for a good long time. I remember at like 8yo I was mortified to find out that other people ate soft eggs, for instance, or put ketchup on them, or ate tomato soup, or fish. We ate eggs over hard in our family, with the yolks broken, and I would never put ketchup on an egg. I thought seafood was grown-up food, because my brother and I both hated it and our parents loved it. I thought it was that way in everybody's family. I think it takes till at least 8yo for a kid to realize other families do things different.

post #34 of 143

MamaintheDesert, happy belated birthday! I do hope you're celebrating all week. I'm a May baby, too! As for different religions, well, my DH is a shamanic-style Pagan, while I prefer more ritual. And I came from a Christian background, and he from a Jewish/Catholic one (with much heavier influence from the Jewish side). I look at the UU church, and I'd love it for my DD as it would give her the knowledge of her heritage. The problem is finding a congregation that actually knows what Pagans are. I went to a great lay service given by a transgender friend of mine, and I had a great time speaking with people afterwards. But they didn't know about Paganism at all. Now I could educate them, but I educate people all week long, and I kind of want a break, iykwim? And DH won't want to go, as he'd rather just meditate in the woods.

 

So I think I want to homeschool the UU Religious Education with DD, and keep taking her to rituals as often as I can. When she's older, I'll take her to other worship services for the experience. The town where I live has a Hindu temple, so I really really really want to go there myself!

 

Anyway, my DD is almost 4, and so far I have raised her Pagan, but she knows about Christmas, Easter, Passover, and Hannukah a bit, at least from a more secular point of view. She'll pick up on the nuances when she's older, and if she decides to not be Pagan when she's older, that's okay. I decided not to be Christian when I was 21, so what's the difference?

post #35 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View Post

Speaking of which, it is finally time for garage sales! I'm pulling out all of the junk that's been stuffed into closets, pricing it and getting it the heck out of here! I can't wait, it will be so liberating. orngbiggrin.gif And it will hopefully put a nice chunk of change in our pocket, too. thumb.gif Hmm, I wonder if there is a spell I could do to make the rummage sales prosperous? I will have to look into that. 

 

I saw that today is International Pagan Coming Out Day. Anyone coming out today?

Get a gold paint pen and use that to write the prices and decorate signs. $$$

 

I've been out for so long, if I came out, the entire town would give a collective "whatever"... wild.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheDesert View Post

Thanks for all the birthday well wishes! I agree, I need to celebrate all week. My parents got nasty at the birthday dinner they took me to last night, so I at LEAST need a do-over. I never even made my birthday cake!

Happy birthday, late! partytime.gif I hope the week has gotten... more celebratory.

 

 

DH has an appointment with the local director of the County Development Corp. WOOT!!

I'm being kidnapped in a few weeks to go to the new location in Colorado, leaving DH home, alone, with the kids... yikes2.gif

For Beltane, we had a normal day, but that evening, I made fire. Big fire. Pretty fire. orngbiggrin.gif

Other than that, we be pluggin right along.

post #36 of 143

MamaIntheDesert--I could have written your original post about teaching your DD religion. But beyond that, you've got a lot more to contend with than I do. My DH isn't religious at all. He claims he's an Agnostic and all it would take is a miracle to get him to believe in "god" (quotations his way of describing it). eyesroll.gif Not that he's asking for much or anything....(sarcasm). I personally see miracles everywhere, esp since becoming mother and knowing that I've GROWN A HUMAN. bigeyes.gif In nine months I grew a complete human from two half cells and then my body changed and contorted and I gave birth. Tell me that's not a miracle! But I think he's really just not interested in religion and sees too much suffering for a "god" to actually be out there. BUT, he's hugely supportive of me being Pagan and raising our kids Pagan. I sometimes tease him that I'm making little witchlets out them. lol.gif He helps me with projects for the kids (he's going to help us make Garden Goddesses for Beltane this weekend) mostly because its too much for me plus three kids (two under two) to do it myself. He just doesn't offer opinions and directs all questions to me. Though sometimes I have to direct them back to him and have him decode and kidify an answer I've given because DD doesn't understand it. I'm not good with explaining things, esp to kids. He's ok with that. I appreciate how supportive he is, really. I do still feel on display though. I could tell him I'd like to dance naked through a field on a full moon (I don't!!) and he'd just offer to drive me and sit in the car and read a book and not bat an eye--or peep for that matter! But I could never do that because I'd be too aware of him to really be able to relax and engage and enjoy. 

 

I'm sure there are books out there with tips and advice on how to raise children in multi-religion households. You probably won't find anything in a Pagan/Christian stance (or you might, IDK, I've not looked) but you could even take a book focusing on, say, Judaism/Christianity and adapt it. Sorry, I don't really have much beyond that. :/

 

OH-I did a rummage sale when I was 7 mos pregnant with my second and I am so glad I did! That was almost 3 yrs ago and I'm just now getting around to having the time and energy to do it again. I can't imagine if we had all of that stuff we got rid of still in this teeny house. bigeyes.gif My thoughts-do it now while you have the gumption and fewer children around to get in the way (trust me, 3 kids plus 1 sharpie is BAAAAAAD!!). Just keep plenty of snacks and water around. winky.gif

 

Mary-I like your idea of teaching different cultures. It is very important to me that my children are exposed to a lot of cultures and ways of thinking. That's what the world is and we live in the world. I think I will get rid of the book because I don't like the way it is presented. It's rather pushy and there is an edge of "this is the only right way!!" that I can't get over. But as the kiddos get older, I'll start to introduce them to the stories. I can't decide my feelings on VeggieTales. I love the characters but sometimes its somewhat overbearing. And then I remind myself that its a Christian publication and I'm not Christian, of course I feel as though its overbearing!! So they do watch it occasionally, but not too often. :)

 

I loved the top floor of the dino sphere. It was so nice and quiet after dealing with tons of people all day. Good place to unwind and just doodle before heading into the crowds again. smile.gif

 

Revolting--What a horrible rodent problem! I'm so sorry you are dealing with it. Just a little longer and you will be out of there!

 

Vydalea-My 15 month old is in bed with us still and I'm already at the love it/hate it point. He still wakes up probably three or four times a night to nurse. Ok, "wake up" is strong, he basically just rolls around, punches me in the face, whines and won't settle without a boob. His eyes don't open, but mine sure do. I'm pretty sure if I moved him to his own bed, he'd stop nursing at night and I'd get to sleep. But I do love him there, sometimes its the best thing, just getting to snuggle in with him after a crappy day. DH hasn't said anything yet, so I will probably keep him there until DH rebels.

 

Thank you all for your input on the book! I appreciate it!! 

 

Off to shower and then to hit the grocery store. I love grocery shopping! 

post #37 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View PostI can't decide my feelings on VeggieTales. I love the characters but sometimes its somewhat overbearing. And then I remind myself that its a Christian publication and I'm not Christian, of course I feel as though its overbearing!! So they do watch it occasionally, but not too often. :)

 


 

Off to shower and then to hit the grocery store. I love grocery shopping! 

 

 

I thought I was the ONLY person out there to love grocery shopping! Everyone I know hates it! Yay, I have an ally!

 

Veggie Tales-- I refused to let ds see those when he was little. Our babysitter brought them over one time and I thought they were OK till the end, when they go into Bible-study mode. EEK! No way was I going to let my then-3yo watch that and start spouting Bible stuff at me.

 

Today my boy comes home! I have been missing him and will be so glad to see him. Though I realized that I haven't needed to take any flower essences (especially for overwhelm) since he's been gone. Sigh. I have really enjoyed the quiet, and the uninterruption of the day-- not having to break up the day to get him from school or go to baseball or martial arts or do homework or get him in bed or get up to an alarm. It's been a nice break redface.gif

 

Tomorrow is the public Beltane ritual, outside at this fabulous park by the river with lots of trails for walking or biking. There's a potluck after. I am bringing a Maypole cake (will post pix!) and a "Chopped Salad" which is basically a low-carb thing with crumbled blue cheese, bacon, chicken, avocado, on a green mixed salad. Nom! I am getting to call a quarter with a pennywhistle! I have no idea how to play one. But I've played flute, piano, drums in the past. I'm sure I'll be able to come up with something. Which quarter, do you think-- Air?

 

M is doing well. Still unemployed, but still sober joy.gif He found a place that will give him his meds for free, once this prescription runs out. And he's had some Very Important People tell him that he is NOT TO RUN OUT or stop taking them, so YAY. He hasn't got housing assistance, but he's got food stamps and free meds, so those are good things. He said he was going to lose his internet soon, and then the phone on the 15th, to which I said "I can get into your phone account, nanner nanner boo boo!" lol.gif and he laughed. Sorry but I am NOT going to cut off contact for a measly $50 or whatever. He can pay me back when he gets employed.

post #38 of 143

3XMama, you could make a wash for your front steps, or sidewalk, or wherever the garage sale will be located (maybe in front of the garage? :D )  One recipe would be a cinnamon and parsley tea with a bit of gold glitter mixed in, but there are a LOT of traditional recipes for washes that New Orleans shopkeepers used to use, for example...

 

revolting, I could tell you how my spouse and I solved our mouse problem when we lived in Brooklyn -- let's just say it was drastic but effective.  For the sake of animal lovers on here, let me know if you want me to PM you.

 

Happy birthday, MamaintheDesert! I would like to take A to some farms around here also, but I want to wait till she's a bit older.  (And we are NOT going to a pumpkin farm in October ever again, after last year's debacle with crowds and unseasonable heat and third-trimester me...)

 

Maiasaura, I like grocery shopping too!  It's like a game for me to calculate the best deals on things. 

Your chopped salad sounds amazing, and it really sounds like M is doing some proactive stuff up there!  I'm glad he found a way to stay on his meds.

 

As for us, my spouse and I are planning to go out for a combination birthday/handfastingiversary dinner tomorrow night.  We're using the same babysitter we've used once before for a couple hours. Wish us luck!

post #39 of 143

Maisaura/Witchygrrl/3X Mama - Thanks for sharing your various thoughts on a dual religious upbringing. I think I just may need to get over it and try it DH's way and see if it jives or not. I think I get so caught up in the what-ifs sometimes that it's detrimental.

 

Wolfcat/Witchygrrl - In regards to the birthday thing. Yeah, I'm taking the weekend for myself. DD goes with her dad this weekend. So DH and I are going to kick the weekend off by getting a group together to to head out to the river and do some fishing/relaxing tonight. I'm going to take my knitting stuff with me too. It's nice to just sit out in nature and create... and maybe get some dinner out of it too!

 

Which reminds me... I was lurking last month and saw that someone got the Loom Knitting Primer. That's what I'm doing is loom knitting! So far, all I know is how to make hats... but since Christmas I've made probably 40 of them! haha. So, whoever that was, how's the Primer going? I try to look up patterns online and get intimidated by all the abbreviations.

 

WRT Garage Sales - yeah, I think I may go ahead and just get DH on board to do one. There's a community garage sale happening down the street from me in a couple of weeks. You have to pay to have a booth though, and it's a tiny 10X10 booth as well. I think I might be able to steal the traffic flow in and out of the community sale and do pretty good just by having my own sale in the yard. As far as pagan-y things to do for a garage sale. The best one I ever had, I lit some green scented candles on the porch, and said a quick spell/prayer before I lit them. I also used green paint to make the Garage Sale signs for down the road. I also played a classic rock station on the radio outside, but I don't think that one counts. orngtongue.gif

 

Wolfcat - That's so cool that you're getting kidnapped to Colorado! I love it there. What's the plan for while you're up there?

post #40 of 143
Mamainthedesert: I'm the loomer wink1.gif It's been going ok. I'm actually hopping to make myself a long loom so I can make an afgan, but I've actually rediscovered my love of knitting (with needles) and crocheting. Right now I'm working on a granny square afghan to sell. I tend to do knitting on the needles one day, then loom the next, then crochet in kind of a cycle. It keeps me from getting bored. I'm all about instant results so everything has to be quick and easy.

I'm in constant meditation mode it seems. My life is in an upheaval and I'm not sure what direction I'm supposed to be going. Time like these I wish I knew a Shamannic Healer! I could use some healing and guidance.
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