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**The Infertility ONE Thread**May 2012** - Page 6

post #101 of 168

Hey, all, I just wanted to make you aware of a thread I started on the ttc board. I just really needed a break from being crazy during my 2ww so I made a space not to be. Hope this is right for one or some of you:




Toothfairy, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. I hope you appt goes well!

post #102 of 168
Thread Starter 

Thanks again everyone for all of your love and support :)


Hope - Done and done! I really am so happy for you!


Smiles, it's me and you left still ttc#2...


Cait - I read somewhere that part of why our mood improves when AF comes (in regards to IF) is because we are in familiar territory again. That feels safe in a weird way. Is your NaPro Dr tomorrow? Yes, tonight will be day 4 of Clomid. More below.


Lilac - Just sending you some extra hugs. I want so badly for you to see even 1 little swimmer moving in there...


Sorry I fell behind and don't remember what else I was going to say so on to me...


AFM -  I seem to be miraculously evading the Clomid headaches thus far. Watch me jinx myself. I do still feel side-effects from it, but if the headaches and intensely foggy feeling can be kept at a minimum I feel functional. I was completely caught of guard by the downward depression spiral of "oh shit my cycle failed", "oh shit I've got AF it's not like my normal AF", "oh shit there went $1100 and still no baby and now we're going to do it again", to "oh shit now I'm taking crazy pills". But, I gave myself a kick in the uterus and I'm pressing on.


Because I needed to find a reason why my cycle failed (other than god just saying, nope, no baby for you) I have settled on my lining was too old and not nutritious enough since I had such a long cycle. Everything else was supposedly perfect and my lining measured perfect, but still it was a long cycle. Hoping for a shorter one this go around. I have a u/s scheduled for CD12 to see if anything is happening yet. 

post #103 of 168

So far my DH and I were just going to where our regular doctor has sent us.  It was only a couple weeks ago that I finally found any doctor that specializes in male reproductive medicine and has microsurgerty and testicular sperm extraction discussed in his biography on his website and is in Michigan.  Another person I met on a forum whose husband is azoospermic went to Indiana because she couldn't find someone in Michigan who dealt with azoospermia.  It is just crazy.  If we have to go ICSI with IVF, we will likely go with the RE that a new urologist suggests since I am not seeing on yet.

post #104 of 168

Hope - Yeah! for seeing the little bean and I am glad that you are feel comfortable enough with things to move on to the graduates.


Sila - Yep just me and you, lets get out of here (and everyone else too of course!)  I hope that things go faster for you this time around.


Monkey - You're right about the benefits outweighing the risks.  DH said that if we're trying to move ahead with all of this then I should just take the pills and try and get things started instead of waiting potentially weeks or months for af to show up.


AFM - So I decided to start the provera popped #1 this morning.  Yesterday I didn't really understand how they were supposed to work but after some time with Dr. Google I understand that it is the withdrawl after stopping the pills that should bring af on, so I technically shouldn't get af while I am taking them.  Part of my reluctance to take them is that I am having blood work done on cycle day 3 and if I tricked my body into a period then will the blood work results be accurate?  That's part of what I am having a hard time with, I guess I should just trust the doctor this is what she does.

post #105 of 168

I'm ttc #2 too!

post #106 of 168
Thread Starter 

lilac - Well I'm gad you have found at least one person in Michigan that specializes! Hope they are able to refer you to a great RE too! Boy, it would be annoying to have to drive to another state (I guess unless it's actually really close? I have Clomid brain...)


Smiles - Seriously, let's all just blow this popsicle stand! My CD3 bloodwork was done after taking Provera. Because I always ovulate before getting AF (thanks PCO) we didn't know whether it would be weeks or months until I would get AF on my own so we decided to go with the Provera so we could move forward with testing. I really don't understand how it works either. How it is the same or different than shedding your lining after not fertilizing an egg (other than it is a result of withdrawl and stopping the progesterone).


Zen - I'm sure you mentioned it somewhere, but I must have forgotten you were ttc#2 too! Sigh, I just want a little sibling for my buddy....

post #107 of 168

My son has been asking for a sibling since he was two. When he was three we visited friends with kids, and he cried and cried that there weren't more kids in our family :( I hate that there will already be so much space between sibs even if we conceive this cycle.

post #108 of 168

Sila- We are almost cycle buddies- I'm CD3 today. It is hard getting back on the horse after the shock of a failed cycle. Hoping this time is the BFP because you are starting on time.


zenquaker- we are all here to support you on your journey toward a sibling for your son!


smiles- I'm glad you decided to go with the Provera. I don't know how it works but I suspect it tricks your body into thinking it ovulated due to the rise in progesterone, so it kind of re-sets with a new cycle so your numbers will be acurate. Good question for your doctor I guess.


lilac- Hard to believe there are so few specialists out there. I hope they have a great recommendation for an RE for you!


AFM- My appt was this afteroon. I learned so much I feel like my mind is swimming. A lot I already knew but there were some additions. I'm taking 15mg of Letrazole tonight (CD3), he also said I should be taking 500mg of B6 before Ovulation, 100mg of pycnogenol, 500 magnesium, fish oil, kelp tab, and 5000iu of D3. The other new thing is Low dose Naltrexone (the drug used for opiote addicts). It is usually 50mg for druggies, but I only get 1.5-4.5mg right at bedtime. It is an endorphin inhibitor so your body thinks it is low on endorphins overnight when they are usually made and it boosts them during the day. Endorphins and D3 make T cells which make Macrophages which boost your immunity, which reduces your active antibodies which breaks the cycle of inflammation. Yeah... that is a whole lot of information swimming in my brain. Remembering what goes where in my brain to actually comprehend and understand all that is what is making my head spin. Oh, and here is the biggest kicker. I need to gain 10 lbs... STAT. He said he has, in 20 years, never been successful with a woman with a BMI under 20. (Being that the woman has infertility, not to say that all women under a BMI of 20 are infertile, let me make that clear, before I hear about every skinny mini that has a dozen kids). Hmm what else to share- I got a graph about liklihood of good ovulation- a study done at Harvard. Basically, the thinks they linked to good ovulation- 4 days a week of 30 min aerobic exercise, most of your protein from vegetables, least of your protein from red meat, 1 serving of high fat dairy daily, less than 1 serving of low fat dairy per day, more than 54mg of iron per day (from veggies, not red meat), high fiber diet, BMI between 20-25.  Okay, I think taht is all I have in me for tonight. I am taking my Haagen Daas and fatting myself up like a Christmas pig and going to sleep. Speaking of sleep, we talked about that too in case anyone cares to know more.

post #109 of 168

Smiles - hooray for finally making it to the Doctor's appointment!  I once got a prescription for Provera when I had just started TTC and I went to my gynecologist to complain about a short LP. He gave it to me for LP progesterone support. I didn't end up taking it but I think it works in a similar way to the other forms of progesterone that some of us take (Crinone, Prometrium, Endometrin, PIO) except that Provera is a synthetic form of progesterone and the others are more natural/bioidentical. In other words Provera tricks your body into thinking it's having a LP which will build up your lining a bit, and then the withdrawal of Provera makes AF show up. I think the Clomid would be worth trying at least once because if your late/non-existent ovulation is NOT due to pre-menopause, then Clomid would fix it, and if Clomid doesn't help, then it helps show that you might have pre-menopause and that you need to be super fast-tracked!


Sila - If you're looking for a reason why last cycle didn't work when everything went perfect, here is what I normally tell myself to make me feel better:

1) The most fertile couple in the world only has a 25% chance of pregnancy each cycle, even if their timing is perfect.

2) When people do IVF and get a ton of eggs (like Hope!), they never have 100% fertilisation of those eggs. If I remember correctly Hope had 25 eggs, 20 fertilized, 16 kept growing after fertilization. So when we ovulate 1 or 2 eggs, there's a pretty decent chance that those 1 or 2 could fall into the category of the ones that don't fertilize or the ones that don't grow (and there's also the ones that don't implant as well), even if everything went absolutely perfect! That is why they usually make us try treatments for 3 cycles since if we only do 1 or 2 cycles it's possible that we are doing the right treatment but we don't get pregnant due to complete randomness!

I'm wishing for you to have the perfect egg this cycle!


lilac - I'm really hoping you get the answers you want to hear from the urologist.


toothfairy - I'm super interested in what your doctor had to say since we are in the same situation. Although I gotta say his comment about 20 BMI made me kind of upset since I've never been 20 BMI and I doubt I ever could be (except during pregnancy). How are you planning to gain 10 lbs? I'm definitely interested in hearing what your doctor said about sleep too.


zenquaker - That must be tough seeing your first child get older and older as you try and try to get pregnant. Hugs to you honey. This may or may not make you feel better, but I have siblings who are 2, 5 and 9 years younger than me. My brother who is 2 years younger than me, I don't remember much of how we got along as kids and we don't talk much today. My sister who is 9 years younger than me: I remember the day I found out my mom was pregnant with her, and I was overjoyed by the news. I remember when she was born, and I loved her so much as a baby and I loved taking care of her. Today my baby sister and I are extremely close, she is one of my best friends in the world! So I guess kids that are closer in age will get more of an opportunity to play together when they are younger, but kids that are older will be more excited about the new sibling and appreciate everything more.


AFM - I'm 1 DPO today!!! My first post-lap cycle is going wonderfully so far. DH and I have managed to BD every other day since CD 10 (I was very enthusiastic about BDing this month since I've been reading Fifty Shades of Grey). I got my + OPK on CD 15, and my temp went up this morning (CD 17) meaning I O'ed on CD 16. Before I started all my meds I was Oing on CD 17 so I O'ed 1 day early which makes me happy. I won't be taking any progesterone this month because I want to see if my LP is any different after the lap.


Also my belly button is looking much better now. Most of the scabs have fallen off and it's not leaking anymore and the white gooey stuff has disappeared and it no longer smells bad. Although my new belly button is much smaller than the old one, lol.


It's a long weekend for us in Canada and it's going to be fabulous! The weather is going to sunny and hot (27 to 30... that's in the 80's for you Americans!) and I have a bunch of fun stuff planned. We moved into a house with a swimming pool last fall, too bad our pool isn't getting opened until next weekend, because this weekend would have been perfect swimming weather!

post #110 of 168

Sourire, thank you so much for your kind words. I've read so many things about spacing, and it makes me wonder if it has more to do with personality than age. Part of my frustration is that given my son's disposition I really felt that a three-year gap would have been right. But we had so many other things going on (husband finishing law school, me finishing grad school, financial stuff, etc), that we couldn't ttc again until he was 4.5. And then to have it take so long. I just wanted someone for him to play with. He LOVES other kids. He's been in FT daycare for a year now, and PT before that, and I haven't felt guilty for one hour of that with how much he loves just being with other kids. . . That said, my older brother is seven years my senior and we get along really well. It took a billion years for him to acknowledge that I had become a grown-up, but since then our relationship has been good. My sis is 4 years older and I have to work harder with her. But in that case I think it is solely a matter of personality.


Sourire, I'm glad you're feeling so good about this cycle! I O'ed on CD 16, too. It's a respectable number :). I'll cross my fingers for a good, healthy LP for you.


Smiles, good luck with the Provera. I find this whole idea of manipulating our systems with stuff very strange, and while I'm not against it (I'm doing Clomid after all), and don't think herbal remedies are any more "natural," really, it gives me pause. I wish none of us had to do anything more radical than deciding to sleep an extra hour every night or changing or bd schedule. Sigh. Anyway, I hope it works! I'm wishing for a good 28-32 day cycle for you after your flow.


I'm 9 dpo, moody, and trying to be kind to myself and especially my poor family. The farmer's market was beautiful this morning, as I expected (who knew a table of radishes could make my hear soar so!), so that helps. And now I have lovely greens to get me through this last week of the 2ww.namaste.gif

post #111 of 168

TF2B - Love the thought of you fattening up like a Christmas pig!!  Also interested in what your doctor said about sleep - "all knowledge is worth having".


Sourire - I am also enjoying beautiful weather on day 1 of the long weekend.  Glad to hear that your belly button is looking better.  I started 50 Shades Darker 2 nights ago......so I hear you on the enthusiastic bding!!!! blush.gif


Zen - I used to worry A LOT about the spacing issue, I wanted them no more than 2 years apart but as that dream has died I'd be ok with any amount of spacing, like Sourire's situation I know people who are not close who are close in age and people who are super close who have big gaps in age.


I had a 'big' moment for me yesterday.  I brought dd to our first swimming class and there was a woman there with a 5 yr old, a 3 yr old and was also 30+ weeks pregnant and I didn't get that horrible kicked in the gut feeling.  Big deal for me.

post #112 of 168

Okay, all you Peachy fans. My little one took home her 3rd obedience graduation certificate on Thursday- She finished Walk this Way! I have pictures of her, but haven't taken pictures of her certificate collection yet. 


Here are some recent Peachy pics for all you lovers of this Colorado Pibble! I also included a picture of Leo the cat for good measure.


DSCF1819.JPG Who doesn't love a doggy in clothes?










DSCF1816.JPG My kitty the lush. LOL.

post #113 of 168

Okay, all you Peachy fans. My little one took home her 3rd obedience graduation certificate on Thursday- She finished Walk this Way! I have pictures of her, but haven't taken pictures of her certificate collection yet. 


Here are some recent Peachy pics for all you lovers of this Colorado Pibble! I also included a picture of Leo the cat for good measure.


DSCF1819.JPG Who doesn't love a doggy in clothes?










DSCF1816.JPG My kitty the lush. LOL.

post #114 of 168
Thread Starter 

Re 50 Shades of Grey: I'm intrigued. But then I read this Huffington post article that mentioned it today and got a little scared off. DH would probably freak if he caught me reading it too! I bet the hold list is a mile long for the library...


Cait - I'm going to admit, you made me google NaPro Dr's in my area. I was disappointed that the nearest one to me is still 1.5 + hrs away! Sigh, I will never stop searching for the "answer" huh? Not until there is a baby in my belly. Ugh my BMI is right were it's supposed to be for optimum fertility. And thanks to Provera and Clomid I've even gained a few lbs. What gives?


Sourire - You're right. I can always trust you to be the stats lady ;) I was all excited about your cycle after reading your post so I went off to chart stalk you but say spotting for today???

 Pretty nice weekend here too - enjoy! 


Zen - DS will be 3 later this year. So I know it still isn't that big of a gap if it happens soon. But it would still be the biggest gap among all of my friends. I agree with Sourire though. I have always been closest to my sister who is 5 yrs younger than I am... But I feel like I have already set a mental goal though of a couple more yrs (if nothing happens) before I call it quits :(


Smiles - Hooray for big moments. I'm just not there yet...


AFM - I'm just back from a night out with my SIL and her sister and friends celebrating her birthday. It was a lot of fun. After a few drinks we of course talked about babies like any normal women would. They want to start ttc#2 the end of this summer (their DS is 6months) permitting her cycle has returned. I told her if she gets pregnant before I do I will cry for a week. Because I cried for 3.5 hrs straight when my best friend became pg with #3 in the time I was still on #1. Selfish? Probably. Oh, and I was right, I jinxed it. I had a make-you-want-to-throw-up-it's-so-bad Clomid headache yesterday afternoon/evening :( 


I also was at a birth this morning. I sometimes think that more than I want to be pregnant again, more than I actually want another child, I just want to push another baby through my vagina. I want to, need to, birth again.

post #115 of 168

Sourire - that does scare me a lot. Obviously the diet works, so people are happy, but I imagine it'll eventually cause them problems.
I completely relate to having all these pregnant people around. It really is hard. I feel you. I'm glad you're excited about the up coming Puregon + IUI and I hope it does the trick for you!
Your SIL's situation sounds just awful! I'm praying for her and hoping everything turns out well.
Hurray for your cycle going well! I'm glad your incision is looking better too.
Happy Victoria Day Weekend to my fellow Canadian!


lilacvioletiris - I hope the results from your dh's test come back better this time. Answers would be good!


hope4light - I know, right? I cringed so hard at the fruit is bad for you thing. Thank you for the validation. It's good to hear it's not just me thinking there is a huge problem with this, and yeah, natural sugars are definitely not the same as processed!
Congrats on your move to grads! WAHOO!! I'm so glad you got to see your little bean. I will definitely be stalking you over in the grads thread.


krunchy - I'm glad you're still finding ways to post! I get so excited over your updates. I hope the next beta is even better!


deborah - wow, what a story Peachy has! I'm glad she has a happy life now. Congrats to her on gaining her certificate!
Leo reminds me a little of my Charlie. So cute and fluffy!


zenquaker - more than halfway through now! Won't be too much longer. I hope you're pregnant by the time you leave for your trip!
Thanks for the comment on the diet. I cannot get on board with a diet that spouts so much processed food and cuts out entire food groups. Not cool.


smiles - I felt the same way about taking provera, but it worked. That's a good question about whether to stop it or not, I really have no idea since AF never came before the end of the pills for me. I didn't have any side effects. I hope all the blood work goes well!


cait - I'm sorry your last cycle was so crappy, but hopefully this next one will be so much better!
That really is a ton of info to take in! I so wish we could just swap that 10 pounds. You need it, I need it gone, gone, gone. Too bad it isn't that easy. Hopefully you won't have too hard of a time bringing up your bmi. I'd like to hear more if you're willing to share!


silamarila - Our first cycle went about the same way. We were caught so off-guard by that spiral. I knew it might be bad, but I had never imagined *how* bad. I'm glad you're pressing on though. I have hope that it will happen soon for you, and hopefully before your SIL so you don't have to cry for a week. I haven't experienced birth yet, but it really is so cool! The whole process is amazing. I can't wait to experience it, even though I know it will hurt like nothing else.



AFM, still on the Provera, but we're having second thoughts of doing an injectible cycle right now. We're dropping a ton of cash this month and I'm really uncomfy with the idea of spending another $3000 or however much before our IVF cycle, especially since the price of IVF went from $11,000 to $14,500 at the beginning of this month. I'm also getting a little stressed with the wedding coming up and everything else going on, and do not need to add all that daily cycle monitoring to it. I think we're just going to do a natural cycle and see where things go from there. We have an appointment with our RE on the 30th so we'll be able to talk to her more about it then.

post #116 of 168

ThanksShesaidboom! Two more weeks and Peachy will get her 4th certificate (for Curb Your Enthusiasm). We are also enrolling her in Come Back to Me! A Recall Class. We were going to do The Great Outdoors but it was a little too much in one week. Hopefully it will be offered again next month. I really like the Boulder Valley Humane Society's Training Center because they do very specialized classes.Now for the human stuff. I have my accounting midterm this week and am feeling pretty good going into it. I also am experiencing something a little strange (maybe it isn't strange, but I certainly didn't expect it). I found myself today just wanting to hold everyone's babies. I thought I'd be afraid to be around them, but I really just want to hold some babies, even if they aren't mine. I think it bodes well though because I felt this way right before we started the IVF process that resulted in our pregnancy with the boys.

post #117 of 168

toothfairy2be - I am interested in the sleep connection. The research study you listed sounds like focusing on a vegetarian diet kicks in ovulation.  I have that under going for me.  Now I just need to lose weight to get to the bmi of 25.  I have a big way to go.

post #118 of 168

zenquaker - are you planning on testing soon?


Smiles - Isn't it wonderful when we can see pregnant women without feeling horrible? I love those days (as few and far between as they are). I'm on Fifty Shades of Darker too now :)


Sila - I frequently read trashy romance books with lots of sex scenes (especially around O) so I didn't find that Fifty Shades of Grey was any worse than those but it's a really nice love story.


Stats is what I do for a living so you can always count on me to come up with all the IF treatment stats :)


Thanks for stalking my chart. I was kind of upset about my spotting but luckily it only lasted 1 day so I'm assuming it was caused by the BDing the night before or maybe it was ovulation spotting. Either way I'm glad it's over and I hope it doesn't come back for a long time!


I really hope you have no reason to cry when your SIL gets pregnant! When my younger brother and SIL got married (2 months after I did) I told my brother I would be very upset if they got pregnant before I did. Well SIL is 32 weeks pregnant now :P Though the fact that it took her a year to get her BFP and she needed Clomid softened the blow a bit.


shesaidboom - Wow that is crazy that they can just increase the price of IVF by 30% like that. Ouch! I can't imagine how you could juggle the cost of IUI's + IVF + a wedding all at once. It took quite a while for my finances to recover just from my wedding!

post #119 of 168

Sila, are taking your Clomid in the morning or at night? I took mine at night and didn't have many side effects. I know there's also a great deal of variation in how people react to it, esp. at different doses. At any rate, I'm sorry you're feeling foggy and hope it gets better in the next few days.


Smiles, I have such a big problem with envy (feeling grief when I see someone who has what I want) in areas of my life that feel frustrated about. It's a rare day that I can hear about a colleague getting a great job or publishing a book without having an entire evening of angry tears. I'm not quite there with babies yet, but I do sometimes see families that are like what I envisioned mine to be (and is not), and feel so sad. I'm glad that you were able to have a moment free of that. I hope it continues to be that way for you.


Shesaidboom, I really understand about the financial stuff. Because of it we will probably not do much more than Clomid. We have insurance but we still have to pay 20%. That can be a lot on some of even the most basic tests. I hope that you are able to come to some clarity about where to go from here. Be sure to update us after your visit.


AFM. . . Well, I'm spotting, which is normal for me for 11 dpo. If it is AF it means Clomid did nothing about my shortish LP (it's 12 days but with 2-3 days of spotting, increasing each day, before AF, which I consider worrisome). I really was hopeful. This morning my temp dropped a little, too, not enough for an implantation dip but about what it starts to do around when spotting shows up. It looks like I am most likely not pregnant this cycle and will not get to go on our trip knowing I have a little one in there. Isn't that dumb how we give ourselves this artificial deadlines? It just makes a failed cycle that much harder. Anyway, I'll wait for full flow and then go get my Clomid refilled. Really wished I didn't have to.

post #120 of 168

zen, sorry to hear that AF is on the way.


AFM, had 3 patches of EWCM yesterday which is only CD 9 for me.  Totally weird and early.

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