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**The Infertility ONE Thread**May 2012** - Page 7

post #121 of 168
Thread Starter 

shesaidboom - Really, crying for a week sounds terrible huh? If you think birth will hurt, then it probably will. But it doesn't necessarily have to :) Yikes on the $$$$! Did IVF go up because that is just the way insurance works there? Or the government raised it or something? The monitoring really is a lot (and isn't like every day on injectables?) so I think waiting sounds like a good plan. How much longer until the wedding???!!!! Come on AF!

 

Sourire - Oh good, I hope the spotting stays away! 

 

Zen - Yep, I take Clomid right before bed. Bummer about the spotting! Was Clomid the first thing you tried to increase your LP?

 

Lilac - I hope that means you will ovulate a little sooner! We're cycle buddies!

 

AFM - I'm fairly confident we'll see some follicles growing on the u/s tomorrow. I think I can feel them. I'm feeling like I did last cycle so I'm thinking that is a good sign. It's crazy to me I might actually ovulate so "early"! Shorter cycles sure seems like it will make this whole IF business a little more tolerable. Knowing I'll have another chance in just a few weeks rather than a few months really helps!

 

I've also FINALLY got my doula website up and running! I'm proud of it. Now I just need it to help bring in business! Starting a business is hard work. If you want to check it out PM me for the link (I don't want to share my name here).

post #122 of 168

 Lurking!!

 

tf2b - wow, that's a lot going on.  I imagine that it is a ton of info to be swimming around!!

 

Sila - Sourire had my numbers down pat, I'm impressed!  But like she said, it's never as perfect as we want it to be!  And we transferred 1 8 cell and 1 9 cell with very very minimal fragmentation, and only 1 stuck, so even when things do look beautiful they really probably aren't.  Yeah for getting the site up and running! 

 

Sourire - keeping my fingers crossed!

 

zen -I'm sorry AF seems to be coming.

post #123 of 168

Thanks for the kind words, everybody. AF is here indeed. Did nothing for my LP it seems. O'ed earlier, a little, but LP is the same (and the spotting). Sila, I did try 50 mg of B6 but that didn't helped. Upped it to 100 mg at the beginning of this cycle, same time I started the Clomid. I haven't tried anything else. I thought hard about Vitex, but I couldn't find consistent information. There were so much adamant things about when to take it and they all conflicted. It seems like a stronger herb, too, so I thought I'd go with something that had some science behind it. I'm not ruling it out for the future.

 

Lilac, get bd'ing! You never know. . .

post #124 of 168
zenquaker - Clomid never did anything good for my LP. In fact by the end of the 3 months I took it, my LP was starting to get shorter and my spotting was starting sooner. I highly recommend asking your Dr for Prometrium or Endometrin if you want to improve your LP.

That being said, if you have 10 full days after O with high temps and no spotting, you're in a pretty decent situation. Your LP may not really need to be fixed for you to get a BFP. Your spotting just has to hold off long enough for implantation to occur, and since implantation usually happens around 7-10DPO, you have enough time for that to happen! Also I'd like to mention that I've been hanging around TTC boards for almost 2 years and I've seen plenty of people get pregnant with LP's similar to yours.
post #125 of 168

Sourire, I'm starting to think you're right about my LP. I wish my RE had spent a little more time with me. For a long time I was counting my first day of spotting as CD1, not realizing that it still counted toward my LP. It makes me really wonder what's going on. I got pregnant so easily before, even with longish cycles and late-ish O. I wish the RE hadn't put me on Clomid so quickly. Of course I rejected the HSG at this stage b/c it's so freakin' expensive. Clomid was kind of like the, "oh, well, let's see if this works," low-tech/cost solution.

post #126 of 168
Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)

I have been a little overwhelmed these past couple days. Spent the weekend at cottage with PIL and SIL and her boyfriend. Left feeling like I just don't want to participate in family functions. I don't get to see my family and get no support from anyone really.

 

I ended up getting in a tiff with MIL. Me and DH had a tiny little argument before leaving cottage. She didn't even hear it she just saw that I was a bit annoyed with him. So, she decided to rudely say to us that "You guys have problems". Shaking her head. I was pretty angry!!!

 

We decided to have a long conversation. Among some of the things I have been told this weekend include; You need help(in a way that was like I am a crazy person,which am not), a lot of people don't have children and are perfectly happy(they choose to not have children, and we clearly want children), Just relax, you'll get pregnant when you relax, the more time you wait to have sex, the more sperm he will have!, What are you going to do when you see a pregnant women at the grocery store?(happens all the time and I deal with it just fine!), What if you experience post-partum depression(what the heck does that have to do with anything?), Do you know what post-partum depression is?(uhm, yeah, duh have a pretty good idea!), Are you going to be like this forever( well no I am just getting used to the idea that we need to do IVF with no other choice), Why do you even want kids anyway?(well why would anyone want kids?), I bet his sperm count is low because of all the hores he slept with in my bed as a teenager(HUH!), well if it happens it happen, if it doesn't o well!(oh thats a nice thing to say), we don't even talk about our daughters pregnancy(uhm yes, you do non stop!), but you have to be at my daughter baby shower(MIL crying)

 

Kind of a nightmare. Complicated, and I am overwhelmed. Oh, yeah, I was also told well I could just adopt. Well, no it isn't that easy. May not be able to adopt otherwise I would have tried already. Its just not that easy. Would it kill anyone to have a little compassion!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been a little overwhelmed these past couple days. Spent the weekend at cottage with PIL and SIL and her boyfriend. Left feeling like I just don't want to participate in family functions. I don't get to see my family and get no support from anyone really.

 

I ended up getting in a tiff with MIL. Me and DH had a tiny little argument before leaving cottage. She didn't even hear it she just saw that I was a bit annoyed with him. So, she decided to rudely say to us that "You guys have problems". Shaking her head. I was pretty angry!!!

 

We decided to have a long conversation. Among some of the things I have been told this weekend include; You need help(in a way that was like I am a crazy person,which am not), a lot of people don't have children and are perfectly happy(they choose to not have children, and we clearly want children), Just relax, you'll get pregnant when you relax, the more time you wait to have sex, the more sperm he will have!, What are you going to do when you see a pregnant women at the grocery store?(happens all the time and I deal with it just fine!), What if you experience post-partum depression(what the heck does that have to do with anything?), Do you know what post-partum depression is?(uhm, yeah, duh have a pretty good idea!), Are you going to be like this forever( well no I am just getting used to the idea that we need to do IVF with no other choice), Why do you even want kids anyway?(well why would anyone want kids?), I bet his sperm count is low because of all the hores he slept with in my bed as a teenager(HUH!), well if it happens it happen, if it doesn't o well!(oh thats a nice thing to say), we don't even talk about our daughters pregnancy(uhm yes, you do non stop!), but you have to be at my daughter baby shower(MIL crying)

 

Kind of a nightmare. Complicated, and I am overwhelmed. Oh, yeah, I was also told well I could just adopt. Well, no it isn't that easy. May not be able to adopt otherwise I would have tried already. Its just not that easy. Would it kill anyone to have a little compassion!

post #127 of 168

Wow, deportivo, just wow. That is terrible and I'm so sorry you had to spend your weekend that way. It is really inhumane that people treat other people that way. Nobody should have so much negativity surrounding them at one time (or anytime). I'm so glad you have support here to come for understanding words and to reassure you that none of what they said can be justified in any way. Nobody can tell you what to do or not to do and if you don't feel up to that baby shower, eff her, she has plenty of people to love and support her without you being miserable. Honestly asking you to go when she knows it makes you sad and uncomfortable is just cruel. Ugh I am just so sorry you had all of this happen. I hope your husband was cuddly and lovable and reassuring that this is your path and you are on it together.

 

zenquaker- sounds like your lp could use some work but first thing I would do is ask your doctor for letrazole (femara) instead of clomid. If you alread have LP spotting, the last thing you need is the side effects from clomid thinning your lining and shrinking your corpus luteum! sourire is right though, lots of women have no problem getting pregnant with short-ish LP. I would love 10 days wtihout spotting! IMO, don't take vitex. I tried it over when we first started TTC and I went from having 4 days of GREAT CM to til this day having almost none. It effed up my body hardcore. Plus, you can't take it with clomid.

 

sila- don't forget about me, we are cycle buddies too right? Is your follicle check this morning? There is beauty growing in there I bet! I'd love to see your website and have insight into the world of doula-ing.

 

sourire- anything exciting so far in your LP? As far as the BMI goes, I was completly skeptical because I had heard before that I was underweight (5'8, 123 lbs) but I've always been 'healthy', when I got up to 128 last year I felt terrible, my pants were tight just in my belly and I just felt sluggish. So I changed my diet away from carbs and milk and it all went away, flat belly prevailed! I was so proud, I felt good again. So to hear that I really need that weight was so crappy. I'll PM you the details because I don't want to bog down the thread. But yes, he said very frankly, in women with IF, in 19 years, he has never been able to get a women pregnant with a BMI under 20. But also, no lowfat dairy, fewer grains (omega 6's create prostaglandins), and no red meat. Increase iron from foods (more than 54mg/g?? a day), low glycemic index but higher fiber, high protein vegetables. So I've been eating a lot of avacados, sweet potatoes, asparagus, tuna fish (I'm a picky fish eater eyesroll.gif). It is really hard but I'm up to 127 so making progress.

 

shesaidboom- Your wedding is getting so close. It is probably good to reduce your stressors for wedding day, there will be so much going on and you don't want to have to do or not do anything on your special day because of IF. It's your day for you and hubby and your families, to leave the rest behind and party it up! I can't wait to see how it all comes together! Crazy about the cost spike of IVF too... how do they just do that?

 

lilac- did you update about DH appt and I missed it? Wasn't it last week?

 

Re: 50 shades of Grey. I saw the funniest thing on FB yesterday. "In 9 months there will be a spike in the population. They are called, 50 shades of grey babies." I'm hoping to get one for myself. It isn't that bad Sila, the first book, to someone who has never read anything like that, was shocking. But the story line really takes over by the second book and the sex scenes dwindle. My DH was surprised but not offended by my reading.

 

AFM- I took my first night of low dose Naltrexone last night. My sister picked up the Rx for me since it is nearer to her house and she is 9 mos pregnant carrying a 20 mos old picking up meds they use for drug addicts. The pharmacist was very funny with her to say the least. I feel OK so far today. Hoping my endorphins are enjoying their little spike and I don't get any side effects. Come on baby...

So the sleep stuff. Of course, all this time later I am forgetting some things. Basically you have to be on a more strict sleep schedule. Even a 1/2 hour difference in sleeping schedule can throw off your hypothalmus and eff with your pituitary gland. It messes with endorphin production basically. Also, no light in the bedroom, sleep mask if necessary. Important, I beleive again because of the endorphin production at night.

I'll send more if I think of more. I have to get out to my chiropractor.

Sourire, I'll send you a PM later today!

post #128 of 168

Toothfairy-thanks I needed to hear that.Dh is not really on the same page as me. A lot of the time he just doesn't see how horrible they really are to me. And how insensitive all of them are. I have one sister that has been somewhat understanding and the rest forget it! Just make everything so much harder. Thats exactly how i feel. What the heck, she has countless family members, her mothers support and other people that are willing to dote on her through her every kick in pregnancy. Hello, I have next to no-one. And she wants to put me through hell without so much as any sour looks. I am so pissed about how much they are pressuring me to endure with her pregnancy, and at the same time not offering any sensitivity, any compassion or even listen to my side of the story! I almost feel like telling them all to eff off.

post #129 of 168

deportivo - grouphug.gif That is so tough. Infertility is hard enough to go through without having to deal with people who are unsupportive on top of all the rest. I think a lot of us have a need for our suffering to be recognized by others. I definitely feel that way. It is so hurtful when others dismiss what we are going through, since for most of us this will probably be the most difficult thing we ever have to deal with! It's also very unfair... studies have shown that infertility is just as stressful as having cancer, but I'm sure your DH's family would be a lot nicer to you if you had cancer!

 

The way I see it your options are:

1) Avoid these people as much as possible, and avoid talking about infertility with them.

2) Try to make them realise how difficult this is for you. 

 

Option 1 is definitely way easier. Try to minimize the time you spend with unsupportive people, and rely more on the people who are supportive. If you don't have many people you can talk to about stuff, you might want to consider therapy - my therapist has helped me so much in dealing with the emotions of infertility as well as in dealing with people who are unsupportive. I don't know what I would do without her.

 

Option 2 would probably be very stressful and may not even be possible if these people are as closed-minded as they sound. Something that might help a bit is getting them to read articles that talk about how difficult it is to deal with infertility. Maybe hearing it from another source than you would be more convincing to them. Here are a few articles from Resolve aimed at families and friends of people with infertility: http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/. The first article in particular strikes me as being exactly about your situation, here is a quote:

Although infertility is widely acknowledged as a crisis for individuals and couples, it is less recognized as a trauma that impacts their families. Yet, involuntary childlessness is an intergenerational crisis that has the ability to strain, even damage, family relationships over time by impairing communications and interactions. Invisible losses, such as miscarriages, failed medical treatments, or adoptions gone awry, may highlight a family's inadequate means of dealing with problems. Old family issues, jealousies and resentments may resurface or other family struggles, such as parental illness or the pregnancy of a sibling, may take priority over reproductive difficulties, leaving the infertile couple feeling isolated and abandoned. The lack of acknowledgment of the losses associated with infertility may damage family interactions, particularly if family members use negative coping techniques such as blaming, side-taking, denial or avoidance.

 

 

toothfairy - that's hilarious about the 50 shades babies. I would love to have one of those! I'm 5 dpo today, so far my LP has been uneventful. My spotting normally starts around 6-7 dpo so I'm going to be on the edge of my (toilet) seat for the next couple of days waiting to see whether it stays away this time! However I don't have very high hopes. My temps have been hugging the cover line so far which doesn't seem like a very good sign.

post #130 of 168

Sourire- Thank you, that was really helpful, and so true. I am at the point of seeking out counseling. The clinic that I want to be refereed to has a counselor and support group. I am definitely searching. The other thing is, I have tried the avoidance route and honestly they will not just let me be. There expectation of me is outrageous, while being insensitive and ignorant. So, from now on I am going to try to give them some more information and make them aware if they just won't leave me be. If that doesn't work and they don't put any effort into giving me some understanding and stop being inappropriate and hurtful, I will go back to avoidance and it will have to just be good enough. They can't expect so much from me, and at the same time do so little to be sensitive towards me.

 

Thanks for the article!

post #131 of 168

Cait: Wow, what a lot of information! That is really interesting what he said about BMI/fertility. 10 pounds to gain, wow. Go forth and ice cream yourself, my dear.

 

Sourire: Glad your belly button is better. I'll be interested to see how your cycle goes without the progesterone! So hopeful for you.

 

Sila: Sorry about your Clomid headache :-( I wish you could be my doula! Could you PM me the link (since I know your real name and all) :-) Thinking big, multiple follie thoughts for you (but not overstimulated follies)!

 

shesaidboom: I hope either way it will be as least stressful as possible this cycle. Especially with wedding planning!

 

Hello and hugs to everyone.

post #132 of 168
Thread Starter 

We triggered this morning! So crazy to me that I'm going to ovulate on CD14!!! First time in at least 3.5 yrs (and that was just a one time fluke too). I've got one big fatty follicle on the right that was 26.6mm already this morning. My RE commented that he can't seem to get me to produce more than one follicle (and nothing has yet to happen on the left ovary???) but that that might be ok. We went back and forth about whether to do 1 or 2 inseminations. We decided on just one to save some $'s and because DH is working a 10+hr shift until 3am Friday morning then starting his next 10+hr shift at 11am on Saturday and it is important to his job and safety that he get some sleep (and I can't bring DS with me to the RE). The nurses said that tomorrow is the most crucial day since I should be ovulating by tomorrow night at the latest. So the plan is to abstain today, IUI in the morning, BD at 3am on Fri when DH gets home (and maybe again at 11pm when he gets home though I know he will be super tired). I hope the timing with my egg works out. Since we aren't going to do 2 IUI's the RE wants me to come in for an u/s on Sat to ensure that I did in fact ovulate. I'm hoping I will distinctly feel the follicle burst like last time and that I will have it confirmed by a nice high temp rise and can just cancel and save the $110 (though BDing at 3am might mess up my temping).

 

Does any one else feel crappy after triggering? This is only my 2nd time, but boy it just wipes me out. Dizzy, nauseous, hot. Blech. Not to mention that I feel like I have a baseball in my lower abdomen.

 

I have run out of time for personals...

post #133 of 168

Sila!!!! That is awesome. I would vote for just one IUI too, especially with the expense and timing- all those things you already considered. I feel like time went to quickly for your cycle, welcome again to the 2ww. Clearly I was wrong about my being your cycle buddy, I'm only CD8. Yay again for a big beautiful follicle!

 

Just a quick AFM: DH called when he finished with work for the day, he is going to be HOME next week!!! HOME! Home! HOME! and all mine right in my fertile week. I am so happy.

post #134 of 168
Thread Starter 

Cait - Ok, good then I'm sticking with one! Yep CD12 today. So I was wrong, I'm going to O on CD13?!?!? Craziness!!! Especially when you're used to 55 + day cycles! Woohoo yeah DH!!! I look forward to hearing about your 50 Shades of Grey baby in a couple weeks.

 

AFM - Forgot to mention earlier, I was worried my lining was going to be too thin. That it wasn't going to be able to keep up and grow fast enough with speeding up and shortening my cycle. PLUS being on Clomid (famous for thinning linings). I was surprised to hear that it is 11+ and looks perfect!

post #135 of 168

deportiv, that just sounds AWFUL. I would say to do it in this order:

 

1. Couples counseling with DH (help with getting him to realize how bad it really is, and for getting you two on the same page)

2. DH lays down the law with his family

3. If they listen, great! If they apologize, better!

4. When they start any discussion about your baby plans (even seemingly benign), DH (not you) cuts them off, firmly explains that your family planning is not up for discussion, period.

5. If he does this and they don't stop, DH goes to family events and you stay home, or better yet get a pedicure or go to the beach.

6. Oh, and even if they are behaving, no need to explain why you won't be attending baby showers and the like. Send a gift and a heartfelt card, and if asked, you can respond, "I won't be attending, but have a lovely time!" If pressed, send in your DH :)

 

DH's family is yours, too, but it's his responsibility to create boundaries for your nuclear family with his extended family. Honestly, discussing fertility with anyone with your best friend or very close sister/SIL one-on-one is just weird to me. It's so personal and there's so much TMI and everyone has such volatile opinions--everyone around us (including family) knows that we are "open to having another child." They can learn about a pregnancy after the first tri. I don't need input before then! We told everyone about our m/c after the fact.

 

AFM, AF is here, BUT! My LP was aaaaaaalmost 13 days! I'm 13 dpo today and just started getting real flow this evening (so I'll count tomorrow as CD 1). I am still concerned about the spotting--it was three days this time--but I'm loving the longer LP and the high temps for 13 days.  But I'm not pregnant yet, so who knows?

post #136 of 168

Zen- thanks, really good advice. yeah that is a good plan.

post #137 of 168
Thread Starter 

Deportivo - I'm sorry you are having such a rough time and don't feel like you are getting the support you need. "All great changes are preceded by chaos". Hugs.

 

Zen - Yay for a longer LP (even though you still have the spotting). I love your positive outlook.

 

What is everyone else up to? 

 

Anyone up to taking over the thread for June???

 

AFM - IUI this morning. I hadn't ovulated yet, but the RE said that the ovulation process had already begun and that it would be soon because my follicle was all crinkly looking around the edges. So, no need to come in to confirm ovulation and no need to explain that I am certain I ovulated and don't need to come in. It looks like our timing was pretty good this time! I'm not sure when exactly my follicle burst this time because I had a lot of pretty good cramping most of the day instead of just a few min of intense cramping. I'm sure it has happened by now.

 

DH's sperm count was only 1/4 what is was for last months IUI's. Ugh, always something right??? Last month he had 44mil and 40mil. Today only 11mil :( But it only takes one! I know it's because he hasn't gone to acupuncture in like 3 weeks, but I didn't think it would make that BIG of a difference. Of course he was able to go this afternoon AFTER the IUI. Hopefully she was able to wake up a few more sperm for our BD session.

 

Well, I've got to head to bed so I can wake up when DH gets home for a 3am booty call. I've been warned I'm going to need to "help" because he's super tired...

post #138 of 168

Sila- I could do June, but I'll be in SD from the 24-29, so if someone else would prefer to take it over that works too.

post #139 of 168

Zen – I usually have extreme envy when I see pregnant ladies but as I said that was a big moment for me.  I do have a much harder time with people that I know, it seems that strangers don’t bother me like they use to but with people I know it is a lot harder.  Most of the people I know are done now though so that helps in one way – although they still have a completed family which is what I want.  I have also thought long and hard about vitex and must have read similar stuff as you, in the end I never could bring myself to try it, not saying that I won’t some day.  Yeah for the longer lp!!!!!!!

 

Shesaidboom – That sucks about the cost of IVF going up by so much.  I hope that you are able to relax and enjoy your wedding.

 

Sila – Hope you managed to help out enough for the 3 am booty call to happen!  I am amazed that the acupuncture, or lack of has that much effect.  Let’s hope this 2ww is the last for you for a very long time.

 

Deportivo – Sorry that you are having such a hard time.  You need your dh on your side.  I would tend to stay away from those people as I am an avoider but that is not always the best route to take.  Take care of yourself anyway that you can.

 

Sourire – Hope that your spotting is nonexistent.  I would love a 50 shades baby too, I guess I need to have af show and actually ovulate before that can happen, well, I still have one more book to go, I’ll have to start reading slower!

 

TF2B – Interesting about the sleep schedule, mine is all over the place.  Happy that your dh will be home next  week!!!!!!!!

 

AFM – on day 8 of provera, 2 more to go, I wonder how long it will take for af to show, I want to get this show on the road.  The provera messes with my GI tract, nothing unmanageable but definitely bothering me.

post #140 of 168

Cross posting from the 30 something's Bajingo thread.

 

At DH's appointment today there were 25 sperm in his ejaculate that we collected.  He went from zero to 25 in 6 weeks.  Granted there is supposed to be 20 MILLION sperm.  But with this amount at least there is hope that we could do IVF with my husband's sperm.  We are hoping that the supplements will increase his sperm counts - since he had only been taking them for 6 weeks when he had the second sperm assay done.  I will give a low down on the other blood test results later.

 

To say the least my DH and I have HOPE and that has been something lacking the last 2 months,especially for me.

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